CONTENTS
Editorial: Seriously now, who is captaining the team?
MARFAM News
SACBC Family Life Desk News
2010 Family Calendar and themes
Some activities of the month
Soccer World Cup Snippets
BITS AND BYTES
CORRESPONDENCE
IN CONCLUSION
MARCH THEME: KEEP THE RULES
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EDITORIAL: Seriously now, who is captaining the team?
“The trouble with Catholics is….. “ is the title of the MARFAM Lent and Easter reflection and sharing booklet. It makes a whole lot of statements from different perspectives including ourselves as Catholics and challenges us to consider who we are and what Lent, as a time of conversion, could be for each of us and for our families too. Clearly that would involve moral decision-making. From many years of working in Catholic Engaged Encounter an international marriage preparation programme I have become immersed in the thinking that moral decision-making means discovering what is truly life-giving, obviously not in the sense of having 20 children by different wives and mistresses as our State President confesses to and for some of which he has apologized. Seriously, is he the right person now to initiate a moral dialogue as is reported? Are the captains leading our country from the State President to the president of the ANC Youth League role models for our families in what they say and in what they do, what they have not said or not done?
Jesus commands us not to judge and it is hard to grasp what that really means. Our judges in courts judge people and find them guilty or not on the evidence that is presented not on what was actually done. We are obliged to make many value judgements in the course of our daily lives, about what is safe or dangerous, objectively right or wrong, hurtful or not. But somehow what we should not judge is people and their motives. Dare we then ask, “Do captains of industry have the common good at heart or is financial gain or personal power the bottom line?”
There is nevertheless much to address when engaging in moral dialogue such as is being proposed. Trust and credibility would be good starting points. Already in 2002 Moral Regeneration began as a government initiative, with the then vice-president Jacob Zuma as its chairman. The Church chose a companion process Renewing Our Society. Neither of these really got off the ground. The Moral Regeneration movement still exists and a good deal of money has been spent on this. MRM produced a Charter of Positive Values in 2008 which could also be used for the current dialogue between various parties and of course also in our homes. These values (see below) include human rights and dignity, honesty, respect, family values and the rule of law.
But is the trouble with Catholics and other citizens too that we don’t integrate faith and life in real terms or take it seriously enough? So much has been written and said by leaders of all persuasions. When the recession first hit and in his encyclical Caritas et Veritate Pope Benedict challenged society to review our focus on materialism and amend our ways. But are we just continuing on the same old merry ways, happy that the recession seems to be abating?
A caller on a radio talk show reminded us that we have the Scriptures and the Commandments so what more do we need? In the daily scripture readings recently Jonah preached to the people of Nineveh, presenting them with God’s threat to destroy their city. They took the message seriously to heart from the king down to the lowest creatures, the animals. They fasted and repented and God averted his anger. Jesus reminded his hearers of Jonah’s message but they did not heed the message and Jerusalem was destroyed for the 2nd time. In our day who is to preach the message and who is to respond? We each in our own small ways and communally in our families, workplaces and society are called to do so. But how? What opportunities are offered to us? Lent as a time of reflection, sacrifice and penance is one. The Soccer World Cup with its hype and potential for truly playing the game, enjoyment, good sportsmanship and hospitality but also with its downside with dangers of exploitation and crime, immoral behaviour of different kinds from sexual to violent is another.
The family theme for March under the overall banner of FAMILIES PLAY THE GAME is KEEP THE RULES. In the game of soccer rules are to be strictly enforced, punishment in the form of red or yellow cards and a time in the sin bin are observed. Sure there is hooliganism too and captains and referees do get challenged. But the captain has an important role to play as role model and as leader. Whether I am the captain of my under 10 cricket team, senior bowls team, chairman of the board or just plain dad, am I a worthy captain? Does my team look up to me as a great and trustworthy captain having the team’s best interests at heart. If so then others will follow. Seriously!
Toni Rowland
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MARFAM NEWS
The booklet “The Trouble with Catholics” is still available. Cost R10. Stations of the Cross for Families can be used in parishes, groups or with a family at home. Cost R5 for English, Zulu, Sesotho. R4 for Tswana. It is not yet translated into Afrikaans and North Sotho, the other languages in which the monthly reflections on the calendar themes are emailed on request.
2010 calendars are still being sold from R1.50 each and the 2nd issue of MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING will be distributed shortly before Easter. The website article for March is “A Mother’s Heart” and some Lenten and Easter activities can be found too on www.marfam.org.za
A new publication ACTIVITIES FOR FAMILY HOUR is on the cards with stories, puzzles, colouring in etc. Sample activities will be contained in the next magazine to test the waters.
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SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS
The SACBC Family Life Desk has as its 2010 theme, “Families Play the Game.” The annual family life calendar is one of the main projects of the FL Desk, used for education and enrichment. Its monthly subthemes will be developed in different ways throughout the year.
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INTRODUCTION to THE 2010 CALENDAR OVERVIEW:
PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY TRAININGWORKSHOP – JOHANNESBURG – 23 – 27 APRIL 2010
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SOME FAMILY LIFE DESK ACTIVITIES.
An invitation has been issued to family life movements and diocesan family offices to participate in a consultation on the ongoing development of the SACBC family life desk and its activities.
FAMILY CONFERENCE AT INTAMS – Institute for Marital Spirituality, Belgium
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SOCCER WORLD CUP
HUMAN TRAFFICKING is a serious concern for this time and different bodies from church and civil society have been working together with the government in order to fast-track anti-trafficking legislation. A particular concern is that children will be at risk because the schools will be closed during this time leaving many children unattended and fan parks too will be easy hunting grounds. For much more on this contact the Counter-trafficking desk at the bishops’ conference. ADVERTS
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BITS AND BYTES
FAMILY LAW CLINIC and COHABITATION PROJECT in JOHANNESBURG
Father P Maselwane OMI and Nthabiseng Monareng are in the process of starting a cohabitation project in JHB. A family law consultant Nthabiseng Monareng has produced some booklets on family law in South Africa and has also opened a family law clinic in Soweto. The introductory document NOT JUST A PIECE OF PAPER: WHY MARRIAGE IS STILL THE BEST OPTION sets out the aims of the project, to educate and raise awareness about the harsh realities of cohabitation.The focus is particularly on youth and young adults. To find out more contact safamily.law@gmail.com
Nthabiseng is also available to run workshops and address groups in parishes on this and aspects of family law.
CULTURE OF LIFE – Johannesburg
The group spearheading this awareness campaign is organizing a special Anti-abortion prayer day and march on 13 March. Archbishop Buti Tlhagale will preside at the Mass at the Cathedral, after which a walk through the streets of Johannesburg will take place followed by Benediction. Details from cultureoflifejhb@gmail.com
At the recent planning meeting Michelle Joseph, the chairman of the group, gave the South African statistics to date of almost 1 million legal surgical abortions in 13 years. She stated, “The Archdiocesan event is to combine prayer and education, in the form of posters and participation. We still do not have our own home for mothers and have referred mothers and babies to Mother Teresa’s in Bellevue and to Catholic Adoption.” A plan for a home in Florida is in hand.
Other related initiatives in this area of “culture of life” include The Love of Christ Ministries which offers a home for abandoned babies www.tlc.org.za. The secular radio station 702 has also recently researched and highlighted late-term abortions in Johannesburg.
MATTERS OF MORALITY
CARDINAL ASKS QUESTIONS ON MORALITY
After recent newspaper reports around President Jacob Zuma’s lifestyle Cardinal Napier through the Communication Office of the SACBC issued a strongly worded challenge. “An Appeal to South African Leaders – is your sexual morality making you a worthy role model for the youth?
The Southern African Catholic Bishops' Conference expresses its strongest concern over the scandalous behaviour of leaders who shamelessly flout the norms of morality and decency, accepted and expected by the vast majority of people. In particular we deplore the attempts to excuse or even defend bad moral behaviour in the name of ‘culture’.
Basing our stance on the clear teaching of the Lord Jesus Christ regarding relations between men and women, both married and unmarried, we call on all leaders to recommit themselves to being worthy role models for the youth and children of the nation.“
Subsequent to this Church leaders welcomed the President’s call for a national moral dialogue. “As a nation, we have been reaping the fruits of attitudes – social, economic moral and political - that have undermined and continue to undermine what common values and principles of behaviour we shared in the recent past to achieve our new South Africa“
DRAFT CHARTER OF POSITIVE VALUES of MORAL REGENERATION MOVEMENT www.mrm.org.za
Committed to the spirit of ubuntu, which underlies our democracy and is embedded in our constitution, we dedicate ourselves as a nation to:
Respect Human Dignity and Equality. Our constitution affirms that human beings are born free and with equal dignity.
Promote Responsible Freedom, the Rule of Law and Democracy. Individual freedom within the rule of law is the basis of justice, fairness, nation-building and good governance.
Improve Material Well-being and Economic Justice. The socio-economic rights that are part of our constitution must be seen as more than inspirational rights.
Enhance Sound Family and Community Values. Family and community are core socialising units that inspire and create the moral and ethical values in society.
Uphold Honesty, Integrity and Loyalty. Honesty, integrity and loyalty are key social values and should be upheld in good governance.
Ensure Harmony in Culture, Belief and Conscience. South Africa's racial and ethnic diversity has the capacity to inspire and enrich a culture and value system that can sustain the values embodied in this Charter.
Show Respect and Concern for all People. Respect, care and concern are among the overarching values characteristic of South African people. There can be no peace or security without respect and care.
Strive for Justice, Fairness and Peaceful Co-Existence. Peaceful co-existence requires justice, fairness and mutual respect as a basis for national reconciliation. The healing of past prejudices and divisions is required to ensure the promotion of democratic values, social justice and fundamental human rights for all.
Protect the Environment. The heritage we can all pass to our children and to future generations is a healthy environment.
From Marriage and Family Living No 4 2008
ZENIT ON MARRIAGE. A few recent studies in the UK other countries have highlighted again the importance of marriage versus cohabitation. Visit www.zenit.org.za
SMARTMARRIAGES and FAMILIES PLAY THE GAME This coalition reports regularly on articles, workshops, programmes and its annual conference to be held in Orlando US in June. From a recent item on playing a couple game “COUPLE LINKS ………We played with three generations and lots of extended family. The longest married couple – 48 years won. We learned all kinds of things about each other and almost died laughing.……………………… “ That’s what FAMILIES PLAY THE GAME is all about!
CORRESPONDENCE
Dear Toni: |
Thanks for the copy of “The Trouble with Catholics…..” which you gave me after Mass one Sunday. I found it absolutely delightful! Nellie. Johannesburg
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IN CONCLUSION
Chain letters, holy ones too, do get around and around but you may not have seen this funny appropriate for Lent and even for considering “The Trouble with Catholics……. “
Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't even begin to imagine how their mind is working....
Little Zachary was doing very badly in maths. His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors,
flash cards, special learning centers. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him for dinner.
To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise little Zachary got an 'A' for maths.
She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. 'Well, then,' she continued, “Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?'
Zachary looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.”