CONTENTS
Editorial: The Game of Life, in Haiti
MARFAM News
SACBC Family Life Desk News
2010 Family Calendar and themes
Some activities of the month
BITS AND BYTES
CORRESPONDENCE
IN CONCLUSION
JANUARY: THE GAME OF LIFE
FEBRUARY: MATCH PLAY
MARFAM’s vision and aim since its beginnings in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment. MARFAM’s publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference.
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EDITORIAL: THE GAME OF LIFE in Haiti
Little did we think some months ago when we chose the 2010 theme of FAMILIES PLAY THE GAME and the January theme of THE GAME OF LIFE what kind of games many thousands of families in Haiti would be playing early in the new year. It is well known that economically and politically Haiti is one of the poorest and least developed countries, one of the least capable of dealing with such a disaster. Possibly a blessing in disguise in this trauma ultimately will be the amount of aid that has been pouring in to rebuild the shattered capital. How will it rebuild the shattered lives of its people?
As our focus is family life we ask the question that should not be seen as frivolous or irrelevant, “What has this earthquake disaster to say to us about family life?” Firstly, although obviously the first needs are for survival, there is more to life than economic and political development. After the initial morbid fascination with watching seemingly endless horrific scenes of devastation one becomes overwhelmed and somewhat inured to the tragedies depicted in the images. It is the real life stories that do touch one; an uncle reunited with a little niece, the only two surviving members of their family. In some versions of the account of a woman being rescued a week after the quake by the South African team the focus seemed to be more on under whose banner the team was operating than the human factors which were well reported by CNN. The husband had spent days at the site of his home, doing what he could and each time, as some rubble was moved, calling out to her. Eventually his patience was rewarded with the indescribably joy of being reunited. First we heard a faint response, gradually a hole was opened and a camera inserted and finally with the help of some heavy equipment her rescue was completed.
I want to hear such human interest stories, particularly family stories and community stories. I want to hear whether a local parish community gathered its people and resources and worked together in whatever small way they could, possibly working together with the many aid agencies that came to the rescue. I want to hear what Church leaders are saying. Time magazine writes that people did gather in churches, in buildings or in the open, praying and singing. I want to hear how the community is able to deal with the lawlessness that seems rife in places unless they are explicitly policed. Apparently the government is there, but it is weak and the country was in any case being supported by UN peacekeepers even before the earthquake.
The aid workers go home when their job is done and still leave a traumatized people, devastated emotionally and spiritually, with desperate loneliness and grief at the loss of their dear ones. As in any trauma or disaster the loss of one’s closest family members is the greatest cause of pain. Family members are ultimately also the greatest source of support and comfort. Providing for one’s family as best one can becomes a reason for battling on. One poignant story was told of a family living on the pavement, as thousands are doing, and having skinned a cat were cooking it to provide food. Reconstituted families or new forms of families or even pseudo and surrogate families can be a most powerful resource for gradual healing.
Yes, one’s family matters, that is for certain, but there is the very real danger of becoming self-centred and caring only for one’s own. The experience of Church as family, community as family, the world as family, as brothers and sisters, are all clearly manifested in this tragedy. They are expressions of the understanding that we, people, belong and that we need to belong. No one is an island. People are not animals in a battle for survival, but brothers and sisters, traumatized but not without resilience. We outsiders need to care.
And God? I want to hear more of the spiritual impact. How can they and we too understand God’s place in this? Can the media and the social networks be employed to strengthen the faith and hope of the people, not just to tell us the facts and give statistics? Apart from prayers of thanksgiving at being saved we, the outsiders, watching the story unfold on our TVs and computers have heard too little of what churches are doing to sustain people’s faith in a loving God who accompanies them in their suffering.
My prayer at this time is for families as they play their game of life and for comfort and consolation after the loss of their dear ones. I pray for faith and trust in God and a sense of being part of the human family which has been so generous in their support. Let us pray too for courage, strength and energy to rebuild what was lost and also to build anew what was not there before.
I pray especially that memories of good times will in time surpass those of the bad times and enable families again to create more memories in the living present, a link between past and future where the game of life rolls over and on.
Toni Rowland
Also read: Haiti: The World Must Do Better in The Tablet http://www.thetablet.co.uk/article/14191
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MARFAM NEWS
The 1st issue for 2010 of MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING was distributed early in the year. It links very specifically with the 2010 calendar and its theme FAMILIES PLAY THE GAME. Articles develop the themes for the 1st three months. The January theme “The Game of Life” focused on climate change and the need, as families too, to reduce our carbon footprints. In February, the month of love, the article “Match play” published on the website finds ways to link marriage with the game of soccer, very much in the forefront of our minds in SA. Cost R8.00
2010 Calendars are still available @R150 for 100. R80 for 50. R2,00 each for smaller orders. Plus postage.
The new booklet “The trouble with Catholics is……” uses the time of Lent and Easter to explore this oft-repeated statement and invites us to reflect – not too seriously - on our personal attitudes towards our faith. Cost R10.
STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR FAMILIES is also available in English, Zulu, Sotho and Tswana. Cost R4.00. See the website for some Lenten suggestions and a list of publications.
MARFAM’S 2009 ANNUAL REPORT will be posted on the website www.marfam.org.za Some points noted in the report:
After 15 years in the field an evaluation has highlighted achievements as well as areas for improvement. Having started out with a broad vision for family renewal it is a major achievement that much of this has been taken over by the Family Life Desk of the Catholic Bishops Conference. MARFAM at present is mainly concerned with the publication of resource materials. Steps are being put into place to discover ways to improve this. MARFAM’s different target groups range from bishops, priests and more educated laity to simple rural people, all of whom need – but may not necessarily want – formation from a family perspective.
MARFAM ACTIVITIES AND OPERATION
2009 PUBLICATIONS:
- The 2009 calendar “Marriage and Family Growing together” had been produced during 2008. 20 000 copies of the 2010 Family life calendar “Families Play the Game” have been produced and are marketed for the Family Life Desk.
- Marriage and Family Living quarterly magazine. 1800 copies printed, sold or circulated within the Church network and used in workshops often linking with the Family Life Desk.
- Lent/Easter reflection booklet “Teaching the Way of Love” built around Catholic Social Teaching. 2000 copies sold/distributed.
- Advent/Christmas booklet “Joy to the World.” 1800 copies sold/distributed.
- Promotion and sale of other publications that were developed over the years is ongoing.
- FAMILY MATTERS enewsletter. Distributed to email list of 900. During the course of the year it became clear that some of these letters were rejected as spam. A new distribution process was set up but this spam problem appears to persist in some cases. More work is being done around this.
- MARFAM WEBSITE. www.marfam.org.za is maintained and updated monthly with recent newsletters and other material from time to time. Statistics for the electronic media are being studied and evaluated.
Enculturation and an ecumenical focus are kept in mind as these are very real contexts of the families in the local Church and society.
MINISTRY TO WIDOWED PEOPLE is a MARFAM project of particular personal interest. Stations of the Cross for Widowed People is being quite widely used and has also now been translated into some vernacular languages by local groups. BECOMING WIDOWED, has been published as one of the Redemptorist Pastoral Publications and is also sold through MARFAM publications.
Support for and contact with other widowed groups also exists.
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SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS
The SACBC Family Life Desk has as its 2010 theme, “Families Play the Game.” Everyone in South Africa knows what game is being referred to as we are inundated with publicity around the Soccer World Cup. The annual family life calendar is one of the main projects of the FL Desk used for education and enrichment. It has been distributed and the monthly subthemes will be developed in different ways throughout the year. As no Family Matters e-newsletter was circulated in January we give here the overviews for January and February as well as the general introduction.
INTRODUCTION to Calendar theme South Africa is all agog waiting for the big event of the century, the 2010 SOCCER WORLD CUP to be held in various venues around the country during June and July. It promises to be an exciting event for soccer fans from all over the world. South Africa and its attractions will be showcased to many thousands of visitors. Will we forget about God during that time? We hope not. The SA Catholic Bishops Conference campaign CHURCH ON THE BALL It is everyone’s responsibility to “play the game” and to play it fairly and do our best to ensure others do the same. In that way it will be a year to remember.
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ADVANCE NOTICE: PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY TRAINING WORKSHOP |
HOLY CHILDHOOD SUNDAY - 1ST Sunday of February. One of the Pontifical Mission societies originally known as Holy Childhood society is now The Society of Missionary Children. Started in 1843 in France for children in China it became one of the universal missionary initiatives. Its focus is CHILDREN HELPING CHILDREN. Children are invited to say a Hail Mary every day and make a small monthly contribution. To find out more about the South African society contact Msgr van Dyk at mission@vodamail.co.za. Visit www.vatican.va
WORLD MARRIAGE DAY, 2nd Sunday of February. originally a Marriage Encounter initiative is celebrated in some places on this day. As there was a major focus on marriage in the 2nd half of 2009 we are playing this one rather low-key. See http://wmd.wwme.org/ for more on this day.
SOME RECENT FAMILY LIFE DESK ACTIVITIES.
DEPARTMENT FOR SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT FAMILY DIRECTORATE. From 2003 on I have always enjoyed networking with this group in the larger government social welfare department because of their very definite belief in a family-centred approach to their social work at preventative, as well as intervention levels. As a Family Reference Group there is a quarterly meeting and it is open to Faith Based Organisations, (FBOs), NGOs and business people open to promoting healthy families.
I have participated in a train-the-trainer workshop in Family Preservation Services a concept in which I hope to train others and incorporate into the work of the Family Life Desk.
With just a short break during the Christmas holidays visiting of dioceses, parishes and promoting the “parish as a community of families” concept continues. An exciting – if a very lengthy - event was a patronal feast celebration in the Duduza township parish outside Johannesburg. With colourful processions of parishioners in traditional costume, a drama by the youth and blessings for couples and others it was a real celebration. These events do highlight an important cultural difference in the local church. Whites are not as community minded as blacks and do not come to events, certainly not events that take some hours. Finding common ground for interparish or diocesan celebrations that can also cater for adults and youth is no easy task. It is hoped that parishes involved in Parish Family Ministry will put on a “Families Play the Game” event before the Soccer World Cup in June.
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BITS AND BYTES
A FAMILY LAW CLINIC
A concerned Catholic, a family law consultant Nthabiseng Monareng has produced some booklets on family law in South Africa and on the negative aspects of cohabitation (vat en sit) and is now opening a family law clinic. She writes, “Hi, I am opening a family law consultancy office in Soweto on 1st December. My mission is to make it possible for people who live in Soweto to have access to expert family law advice and service which is affordable. I’m also going to introduce divorce support sessions and family law education for women. Nthabi.” Congrats, we need more like you!
Nthabiseng can be contacted on safamily.law@gmail.com
CULTURE OF LIFE.
Zenit reported that 300 000 people have participated in the March for Life in the US. On 1 February 1997 abortion on demand was legalised in South Africa. By 1 February 2010 over 900 000 South African babies will have lost their lives through abortion - legally - with tax payers money.
Christian Action www.christianaction.org.za and Human Life International www.hli.co.za in Cape Town and the Culture of Life group in Johannesburg cultureoflifejhb@gmail.com
call for a response, a Day of National Repentance, a march, a fast, a silent protest. What can you do?
FAMILY CONFERENCE AT INTAMS – Institute for Marital Spirituality, Belgium
An international conference will be hosted at the Catholic University of Leuven, Belgium from 10-13 March 2010 on the theme “The Household of God and Local Households” – revisiting the Domestic Church.
From the brochure: The conference is intended to revisit critically the notion of domestic church and to explore the potential, both theological and pastoral, that the idea of minusculae Ecclesiae may have for the life of the churches and of families.
The conference is targeted towards scholars and practitioners who are working in the fields of ecclesiology, family studies,
ecumenical theology, moral theology, social ethics, practical theology, contextual theology, public theology, gender studies,
feminist theology, church history, biblical studies, patristics, and hermeneutics, amongst other fields.
Speakers include a number of professors of theology at various international universities. Some short presentations will also be made. My paper “Church as Family – Family as Church, a Southern African experience” has been approved for one of these short talks.
For more information visit www.intams.org
RESOURCES AND International links for readers from SA and other countries
Relevant for February’s theme MATCH PLAY - US BISHOPS ISSUE A PASTORAL LETTER ON MARRIAGE. Full text of the letter www.usccb.org/laity/LoveandLife.
US Conference Web site for marriage: www.foryourmarriage.org
Relevant for the start of a new school year: Catholic Education Resource Centre www.catholiceducation.org/updates/latest.htm provides lists of many relevant articles and editorials for educators at all levels.
Relevant in the context of pro-life marches and the current focus on climate change and the environment. True environmentalists are pro-life, says Pope - Pope Benedict XVI - Zenit
CORRESPONDENCE
An ecumenical response. |
COFFEE SHOP TALK SHOP – One of how many? Tell us more about breakfast meetings, Catholic or Christian businesspeople’s breakfasts etc.
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IN CONCLUSION
From TGIF: light-hearted but thought-provoking
New Year's resolutions are so last year. This year, why not indulge instead in thinking up the news headlines that you would most like to see in 2010. Here are a few wild possibilities to get your creative juices flowing:
- Bafana Bafana win World Cup; trophy stolen and recovered.
- Presidential song "Bring me my governance framework" goes Platinum.
- 5,000 police officers redeployed to industry due to plummeting crime figures.
- CEO takes self-imposed bonus cut and announces job creation initiative.
- Malema pursues intensive character development programme.
- Rand reaches parity with dollar (US$, not Zim$).
- Dept of Home Affairs wins coveted incorruptibility award.
- Government minister selects VW Golf as ministerial vehicle.
- Great line-up of programmes on SABC tonight.
- Tougher matric paper, better results.
- 200,000 men join march against woman & child abuse.
- Racially diverse "Ubuntu communities" spring up nationwide.
- Churches connect biblical faithfulness and cultural relevance.
Part 2 of the exercise: Whether or not you make the news this year, what are the 2010 headlines about your own life likely to be? May you be granted the energy & wisdom to pursue all your noblest headlines this year!