MARFAM is entering its 15th year; it has been promoting the cause of family life since 1994.  Your financial support helps us to operate, produce the publications, including this monthly enewsletter and maintain our website. Advertise your company or project on the website, enewsletter or various publications or send a donation to P.O. Box 2881, Randburg 2125. South Africa.  Every Rand, Dollar or Euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow. Why not consider sending us a cheque or begin to make a small monthly donation into our bank account. Contact us for details.

For us in the southern hemisphere spring is about to burst forth. Trees are already in blossom and in quick succession the fragrance of jasmine and syringa will waft along on the evening air in suburban gardens around Johannesburg. And of course the annual wild spring flowers have been spectacular this year I believe. But there is more to September than that. Even more than the imagery of children as the springtime for family, church and society that Pope John Paul II used for the Jubilee of Families in 2000 when he added, “every family (should) beget and raise its own children, marvelously co-operating with the creator’s work and giving the world in every child a new smile.”
In the context of marriage, which is currently our primary focus, the Church, and society too, would consider that parents in a successful marriage relationship are the ideal setting for these children to be raised. A recent article in the UK Catholic weekly The Tablet refers to the fractured state of marital life in Britain and the plight of children caught in the crossfire of relationship breakdown. 
Frequently the married partners had themselves been subjected to negative experiences in their own childhood or were incapable and unskilled to sustain a marriage relationship. Suggested remedies: effective marriage preparation, counseling to avert breakdown and divorce mediation if it does.  A High Court judge urged a “re-affirmation of marriage as the gold standard” for raising children and suggested a governmental enquiry into the whole matter.  The issue of co-habitation and the much higher separation rate of cohabiting couples should also be taken into consideration.  Most countries experience similar issues.
As recorded in the Sunday Times of 30 August South African, Joan van Niekerk of Childline spoke to parliament about the issue of child abuse and the fact that the law passed four years ago to protect children from abuse has still not been implemented. The place of Child Protection Units and the South African Police is again under scrutiny as closing the unit and transferring the responsibility to police stations has not worked. Her final comment in the interview raises one of the same issues as the UK article. Perpetrators of crime were shaped to commit these crimes as children themselves. 

So we return to the theme of springtime. What constitutes springtime?  It is a natural part of the cycle of seasons, created so by God.  Green shoots appear, new life, new growth results.  Economically speaking from the depth of a recession we hear of “green shoots” too. Is this a natural progression; what goes down must come up again, or is something more required, a change of heart possibly?
A delegation from the US Catholic bishops on a visit to the SA Catholic Bishops’ Conference, having listened to local reports asked, “What are your measures of vitality?”  What are signs of life, of green shoots? Some answers were, the greater involvement of the laity, small Christian communities. To a certain extent the recent Pastoral Forum highlighted this, but I still ask myself, when it comes to economic realities are we, hierarchy and laity on the same page?  Pope Benedict’s latest encyclical “Love and Truth” carries a challenging message. Simply speaking, revival of the economy and social reform overall requires person-centred development and commitment by all to the common good beyond personal gain. However, with people in survival mode is there enough will to be other-centred?  The recent social turmoil around wages and rights and taxis makes one doubt that the evangelizing message is being fully internalized.     
And yet, in the interests of children, our springtime, as well as the wellbeing of their parents, ideally married parents, we continue to strive with hope for the joy expressed in John Paul’s image that “every family cooperating with the Creator’s work gives the world in every child a new smile.” 
May this springtime put a spring into your step and a smile on your “dial.”

Together with the SACBC Family Life Desk MARFAM has been heavily engaged in promoting the marriage awareness campaign and the resource materials for marriage education and enrichment. 
Available resources: The Marriage Awareness pack,  (R5,00) Becoming Married with a faithsharing leaflet (R15,00), One Faith Two Religions, (R10,00) and the faith sharing and colouring booklet EVERY CHILD A NEW SMILE in English, Afrikaans, Zulu and Sotho.  The stories and reflections in this booklet are built on the liturgical readings of this time i.e. Weeks 21 to 27 too. Cost R10.
This month’s article on the website www.marfam.org.za looks into African marriage – appropriate for the September theme.
In addition in South Africa as we celebrate Heritage month the theme of traditions and our heritage is developed a little.  An activity booklet for families with children aged 8-12 Our Catholic Heritage is available Cost R8,00.
MARFAM with its publications is of course one of the media resources that should be highlighted around the country on Social Communications Sunday 6th September.

Questionnaire for Readers of Family Matters e-newsletter
Please download, complete and forward this questionnaire directly to Benita@hixnet.co.za, or Benita at fax 011 487 2612, or mail to 42 Young Avenue, Houghton, 2198.
Your answers will be treated confidentially, and your name will not be used.

THIS IS NOT AN ONLINE SURVEY.

2009 FAMILY LIFE THEME “MARRIAGE AND FAMILY GROWING TOGETHER”
One of the most important features of family life is that it is a changing, developing system, growing, and shrinking constantly as members grow older, leave and new members are added to the nuclear and extended family. Month by month we focus on a different aspect of growth in family life.

Brief REFLECTIONS for the Sundays and main feastdays of the month are posted on www.marfam.org.za and can be downloaded.  Translations into some local languages are available by email.  Anyone willing and able to help with Zulu, Xhosa and Tsonga translations can contact Toni at info@marfam.org.za

WEEKS 21 (23 AUGUST) TO -27 (MARRIAGE DAY ON 4 OCTOBER)  
Some time after the 1994 African Synod MARFAM was advised that the bishops of Africa had identified the liturgical readings of weeks 21 – 27 of Year B as appropriate for a promotion and focus on marriage.  MARFAM worked on this in 1997 and 2000 and from 2003, 2006 and now in 2009 it is being coordinated by the SACBC Family Life Desk.  A package of resource materials has been put together and is being disseminated mainly through dioceses and parishes but also through family life movements and any other means.  It is hoped that parishes throughout the region will find this a meaningful and enjoyable time ending with MARRIAGE DAY on 4TH OCTOBER.
The information package can be downloaded as a pdf file from www.sacbc.org.za or www.marfam.org.za.  Relevant sections can be printed for a liturgy team, catechists and families themselves as they are ultimately the real target group for marriage enrichment.
Some Suggestions from the information pack: Focus on all aspects of marriage over the weeks e.g. preparation, separation, divorce, widowhood, reconciliation for couples, invited speakers on aspects of marriage, testimonies from parish couples, convalidation possible for those not married in church, catechesis for children, youth and adults.  For Marriage Day: Renewal of marriage vows/baptismal promises by all, marriage blessing, regular prayers of the faithful for aspects of marriage and family life. 

FOR CONTACT DETAILS FOR MARRIAGE MOVEMENTS IN SOUTH AFRICA visit www.marfam.org.za
OTHER MARRIAGE RESOURCES  
Marfam publications.
Diocesan marriage and family life offices. Check with your diocese.
World Marriage Day a Marriage Encounter initiative celebrated every February but helpful information can be found on the website:  http://wmd.wwme.org
USCatholic  Bishops marriage project: www.foryourmarriage.org
Smartmarriages, a coalition of marriage educators   www.smartmarriages.com

Also check NGOs e.g. FAMSA, Lifeline and different churches. Government and private social workers and psychologists offer help and sometimes run programmes for the psychological side of marriage.  

The main activity during the month was the launch of the handbook and training manual AN INTRODUCTION TO PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY at the Pastoral Forum where the bishops of the region met with representatives of the laity and priests. Copies of the manual were given to all the bishops and in his address Bishop Eddie Adams reinforced the importance of this ministry to families in the parishes.   

WORKSHOPS: for information on workshops and follow-ups and to book a workshop contact trowland@sacbc.org.za

The Pastoral Forum held in August with bishops and lay and priest representatives from the dioceses was focusing on the laity in general but had a strong family flavour.  Participants listened to presentations on how various lay people lived out their “Priesthood of the laity” in their different contexts including the world of work and the family. From the sharing groups it was recommended that promoting this concept to families and providing ongoing formation around family life should be an important priority in diocesan and parish life.

SOCIAL COMMUNICATIONS SUNDAY  6 September 2009
From Zenit: Three keys to living in a communication world.
1. Maintain the value and dignity and avoid degrading of the human person.
2. Engage in attentive and respectful dialogue with people of all places and cultures that seek the truth.
3. The human value of the richness of friendship.
CATHOLIC MEDIA
MARFAM publications are purely devoted to family matters.
Many dioceses have their own newspaper and The Southern Cross is the national Catholic weekly.
TREFOIL is a magazine for all Catholic readers addressing a wide range of religious and social issues and has a section for families too.
FOCOLARE has a magazine NEW CITY/NOUVELLE Cite which carries articles relevant to families.
Grace and Truth is published by the St Joseph’s Institute in Cedara and Worldwide by the Combonis.
RADIO VERITAS is the only local Catholic radio station broadcasting 24 hours daily on DSTV on Audio channel 170. To celebrate its 10th anniversary it is applying for a special broadcast licence on fm in the Gauteng area during November-December.  Write and offer your support. www.radioveritas.co.za
Visit the SACBC website www.sacbc.org.za for information on its Social Communications Office. 

SERFAC. Service and Research Institute on Family and Children (SERFAC), is an International Non – Government Organization committed to the well being of Families and Children. SERFAC has special Consultative status with Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC) of the United Nations. Details are on websites (www.serfacasia.org/www.childparentrelation.com).  Started by Dr.Sr.Catherine Bernard over three decades, SERFAC has pioneered the work in India and several overseas countries, trained personnel and assisted in establishing Family Life Centres in these countries. SERFAC has now developed an innovative and specialized Professional course for Family Life Professionals. Visit the website for more information.
 
ST AUGUSTINE COLLEGE JOHANNESBURG advises

“You may be aware that an alternative values based model of higher education is used at St Augustine College South Africa (a private university) and with this in mind we developed and gained approval by the Council on Higher Education for new undergraduate degrees, namely, Bachelor of Arts, Bachelor of Theology and Bachelor of Commerce.”   For information for registration and bursaries email:  c.kleynhans@staugustine.ac.za

Also see website www.staugustine.ac.za

FROM SMARTMARRIAGES
PRAYER WORKS – a research project
……. Mr. Fincham wondered about the impact of prayer on marriage. 
"We recruited people to participate in a four-week study where they were randomly assigned to either pray for their partner, engage in general prayer or set aside time to think about the positive things in life and about their partner," Mr. Fincham said at the conference. "Twice a week, they were asked to record online what they had done."
Mr. Fincham's research showed that those who prayed for their partner showed a greater willingness to forgive their partner for a transgression, and other surveys of couples married 25 years or longer found that forgiveness was one of the top three most important characteristics of their relationship that allowed them to stay married.

CATHOLIC PARLIAMENTARY LIASON OFFICE
In addition to interacting with parliamentary bodies on behalf of the SA Catholic Bishops briefing papers are produced and research is conducted. Visit www.cplo.org.za  for a list of available papers.

FAMILY LAW SERVICES OFFERED: Drafting of Ante-nuptial Contracts, Assisting clients in choosing the right matrimonial property system, Advising married spouses changing their matrimonial system from in community of property to out of community of property, Marriages (Customary, Civil and Same Sex Unions), Registration of Customary Marriages,   Drafting of Cohabitation Agreements and many more on other aspects of family life and law.   Contact: Nthabiseng Monareng on 083 674 8236 or visit www.familylaw.co.za. Also see article in current issue of Marriage and Family Living.
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY AFRICA seminars in September 2009.  The "21st Century Parent" addresses issues facing parents of all kinds, "The Heart of Success" - addresses issues facing business men and women in the fast changing world of commerce and a "Family Seminar" addressing issues relevant to all families. Visit www.safamily.co.za for information.
Just-1-Teenager is hosting a youth human sexuality conference, “Reviewing the Challenges of Life and Love at schools” on 24 September 2009.  Speakers will address situations such as the United Nations agenda, South African legislation and a host of topics including psychosexual development, molestation, sexuality programmes in schools, cellphones etc.  An important feature of the work is that parents are involved whenever the team visits a school. Find out more at www.just1teenager.co.za

GOOD FOR YOU and your family this springtime.
The 22nd of September is the Spring Equinox. On this day, we request that a million South Africans plant an organic vegetable. If you’re a veteran, then it should be easy for you. If you know nothing about how to do this, then we’ll teach you when you register on the website. www.plantingseason.co.za.  This is 1 solution to the period of darkness facing us that….

• All doctors agree is good for your health
• All psychologists agree will relieve anxiety
• All politicians agree is a boost to the economy
• All teachers is agree is enlightening for our children
• All religions agree will bring you closer to God
• All environmentalists agree is the first step to saving the planet

THE SHOEBOX 
 A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.  They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.  They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little Old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. 
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.  In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. 
He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.' 
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. 
'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?' 
'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.' 
A Prayer.......
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; 
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death, because I don't have time to crochet

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