“Family Matters” is 10 years old. Alleluia!

MARFAM is entering its 15th year; it has been promoting the cause of family life since 1994.  Your financial support helps us to operate, produce the publications, including this monthly enewsletter and maintain our website. Advertise your company or project on the website, enewsletter or various publications or send a donation to P.O. Box 2881, Randburg 2125. South Africa.  Every Rand, Dollar or Euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow. THIS CHRISTMAS why not consider sending us a cheque or begin to make a small monthly donation into our bank account. Contact us for details.

FAMILY MATTERS IS 10 YEARS OLD THIS MONTH – CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

Growing bigger and growing older could apply to the Church as much as to families.  Our July family theme is intended to focus on growth as always during this year but in particular on growing into a wider, more extended family with members growing older in years and more members added, while in some cases of course others depart as a natural result of growing older but also through other and unnatural means.
In a physical sense growth happens involuntarily and demands little deliberation or choice. Little people grow into bigger people who grow older and hopefully wiser too.  Respect for the wisdom of age is part of every culture and an important one at that. However respect for older people and care for them has decreased, as in our present society with its fast-changing technology and financial woes, if you’re not clued up or productive enough you’re likely to become redundant or relegated to the sidelines, to use a sporting term.  South Africa has been big into sport recently having experienced a number of big cricket, rugby and soccer events.  There too youth reigns supreme.  But an interesting and meaningful feature especially of the Soccer Confederation Cup, a dress-rehearsal for the 2010 World Cup to be held in South Africa, was nation-building.  People of all ages, but especially of all colours and races and social classes dressed up, waved flags and blew vuvuselas – a unique South African plastic trumpet that in its thousands created an ear-splitting din at matches, but has over time become an institution. One could say it made us one big happy family, an extended family, on a smaller scale than winning the 1995 World Rugby cup and of course the 1994 elections.
It seems that becoming a big happy extended family needs an event to rally and unite around. In our families too events do unite us, a birth, wedding or death are natural family events.  Add the Catholic angle, a baptism, a first communion, a confirmation, a marriage or funeral bring the domestic church into contact with the wider Church, Church as Family which is the model for the African Church.
Every family constantly experiences some life events – during June some experiences in our extended family included anniversaries of the death of my mom and husband, terminal cancer but also a birthday and the baptism of a grandchild as well as the secular family celebration of Fathers’ day, which by the by was built in very effectively into the liturgy of the parish I visited on that day.  
The reason for selecting the July family life theme as growing bigger and older is because of the feastday of St Joachim and St Anne on 26th July.  They were the grandparents of Jesus so it is a chance to show appreciation to all grandparents. The Women’s sodality of St Anne has her as a model and while many of its members are grannies, as a sodality for married women it makes a statement in the Church today. Overall in our region weddings are down, and especially in many black parishes a church wedding is a rarity. One small rural diocese recorded less than 20 marriages in a year.  So the SACBC Family Life Desk with the approval of the Conference is once again promoting a Marriage Awareness Campaign built around the liturgical readings of weeks 21 to 27.
We are the Church, we are the Church as Family of God, and as the theologian Aylward Shorter writes in the booklet Theology of the Church as Family, “If the Church is to be truly a family of God, than both the Church and the families which provide its model should reflect God’s priorities.”

We, the Church, are not just about maintenance, trying to keep parishes going, revive Mass attendance and  pray for vocations, we are about growth and formation too, linking faith and life and experiencing life to the full (John 10:10) day by day in our families, workplaces and yes, on the sportsfield.  That is experiencing and coming to understand the priesthood of the laity which is the theme for the August Pastoral Forum of the Church in Southern Africa.   We’re also newly into the Year of the Priest and have heard Pope Benedict’s call for holy priests. Holy priests are not there purely for the glory of God but to help grow holy families and so a holier society, for the glory of God. Bigger and older?   Ja well, no fine as we say.              

Toni Rowland 

July sees the next quarterly edition of Marriage and Family Living with many of the articles picking up the Marriage Awareness campaign. Some of these will be published on the website www.marfam.org.za over the next months for wider dissemination.  But as a promotion a complimentary copy of this current magazine is included in the marriage package being distributed to parishes.  Extra magazines and other relevant booklets can be ordered from MARFAM.
BECOMING MARRIED  -  an easy to read booklet now comes with an insert for faith sharing on the different chapters.   Cost R15
ONE FAITH, TWO RELIGIONS reflects on the issue of mixed or interdenominational marriages. Cost R10
MARRIAGE AND THE PASCHAL MYSTERY is a set of reflections that can be used for faith sharing.  Cost R10    
Postage to be added to all these and for other booklets see publications on www.marfam.org.za
This month’s article on the website illustrates different family situations around growing bigger and older.

2009 FAMILY LIFE THEME “MARRIAGE AND FAMILY GROWING TOGETHER”
One of the most important features of family life is that it is a changing, developing system, growing, and shrinking constantly as members grow older, leave and new members are added to the nuclear and extended family. This can vary vastly as each family is unique, made up of unique individuals in unique relationships. Although families are still considered the basic building blocks of society, forms of families are changing and challenges facing them today are greater than ever before. The Catholic Church teaches us that a sacramental marriage is the ideal foundation for a family but many families, even within the Church, are not built around the Sacrament of Matrimony.  Month by month we focus on a different aspect of growth in family life.

Brief REFLECTIONS for the Sundays and main feastdays of the month are posted on www.marfam.org.za and can be downloaded.  Translations into some local languages are available by email.  Anyone willing and able to help with Zulu, Xhosa and Tsonga translations can contact Toni at info@marfam.org.za

“MARRIAGE AND FAMILY GROWING TOGETHER”  MARRIAGE AWARENESS CAMPAIGN
Some time after the 1994 African Synod MARFAM was advised that the bishops of Africa had identified the liturgical readings of weeks 21 – 27 of Year B as appropriate for a promotion and focus on marriage.  MARFAM worked on this in 1997 and 2000 and from 2003, 2006 and now in 2009 it is being coordinated by the SACBC Family Life Desk.  A package of resource materials has been put together and is being disseminated mainly through dioceses and parishes but also through family life movements and any other means.  It is hoped that parishes throughout the region will find this a meaningful and enjoyable time ending with MARRIAGE DAY on 4TH OCTOBER.
A preview of such a joyful event for me was a visit to a rural parish where in one of its 22 communities – served by 2 priests - at Sunday Mass 8 couples renewed their vows and the whole community celebrated  most enthusiastically afterwards.  Issues around customary and civil marriages and cohabitation as well as preparation and enrichment can be built into this time.        
The Marriage package contains an explanation, liturgical resources, catechesis for children, youth and adults, couple and group sharing  material and information about family movements.  It can be downloaded as a pdf file from www.sacbc.org.za or www.marfam.org.za.  Relevant sections can be printed for a liturgy team, catechists and families themselves, who are ultimately the real target group for marriage enrichment.

To begin to prepare we list some of the RESOURCES FOR MARRIAGE from various parts of Southern Africa.  National Coordinators or contact people:
Catholic Engaged Encounter:   Ronald and Ursula Sobotker   ursulas@absa.co.za
Couples for Christ (CFC)  cfcsouthafrica@gmail.com   www.cfcsouthafrica.com
Equipes de Nossa Senhora,   Serafim and Ana Maria Nogueira anogueira2@wesbank.co.za    
Focolare Movement, New Families: peterstohr@mweb.co.za
Marriage Encounter:  Joe and Neela Kay  joneel@mweb.co.za   www.marriageencountersa.org.za
Retrouvaille, help for hurting marriages:  Stuart and Michelle Allan  retrouvaille@lantic.net
Schoenstatt Family Movement:  mhagan@iafrica.com

OTHER MARRIAGE RESOURCES from MARFAM and others.
Marfam publications.
World Marriage Day a Marriage Encounter initiative celebrated every February but helpful information can be found on the website:  http://wmd.wwme.org
USCatholic  Bishops marriage project: www.foryourmarriage.org
Smartmarriages, a coalition of marriage educators   www.smartmarriages.com
Check with your diocese if they have a marriage and family life office.
NGOs and other churches e.g. FAMSA, Lifeline and different churches.
Government and private social workers and psychologists offer help and sometimes run programmes

PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY WORKSHOP 3-5 JULY 2009 IN JOHANNESBURG. Delegates from various dioceses will be participating and will hopefully take this back into their diocese and parishes. Every parish is a community of families and the aim is to make the parish more aware, help the families to develop their own spirituality and address identified needs where possible. For more information and costs contact Toni Rowland 0825521275 or trowland@sacbc.org.za or homefun@icon.co.za.

The PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY MANUAL is well on the way to being finalized and should be a helpful resource for those who have undergone the training and also for those wishing to set up such a project themselves.  The family life calendar is one possible resource and suggestions and worksheets to celebrate certain days and events in the parish and also at home are contained in the manual. 

GROWING OLDER.   Although October 1 is officially the International Day of Older Persons we have partly built this into the July family life theme because of the feastday of St Joachim and St Ann and because I believe in linking liturgy and life wherever possible. 
Visit www.un.org/esa/socdev/ageing or google the International Day for many references.  
The UN estimates that, globally, one out of every ten persons is now 60 years or above; by 2050, one out of five will be 60 years or older; and by 2150, one out of three persons will be 60 years or older.  This of course has many implications, social, political and economic. I have not established what the 2009 theme will be but the 2008 theme was a reminder that human dignity must be at the centre of our focus.  Social security, grants and pension schemes are essential but maintaining these will be a challenge that needs to be faced.

WE ARE THE CHURCH in Southern Africa – some facts and figures.
The Church in Southern Africa has 29 dioceses.  This includes the two dioceses in Botswana and one in Swaziland. Lesotho has its own conference. Johannesburg is much the biggest diocese with 109 parishes, The big centres such as Cape Town, Durban and then Port Elizabeth follow but the diocese of MARIANNHILL has a large number of parishes reflecting a larger Catholic population in the area.  Mariannhill founder abbot Francis Pfanner who died in 1903 and whose cause is being promoted for sainthood can be credited with this to a large extent.  Some dioceses have a high Catholic population and some very low.   The Catholic population in South Africa is about 4 million i.e. 8% but this varies vastly. Of the two largest geographic areas Keimoes-Upington has 20% and Oudtshoorn less than 5%. In many cases the bishops travel 100s of kilometres every week for confirmations and parish visits. 
The Catholic population rate is of course related to how the missionaries, priests but also brothers and sisters, evangelised in the different areas.  Many of the original congregations have or are moving out due to lack of vocations while other priests and sisters are coming into the country, many from other African countries. All dioceses should increasingly have lay representation and involvement, mainly through a diocesan pastoral council or similar bodies and this lay involvement is stressed more and more as after all 99.99% of the Church are lay people and they experience and live out their faith in their own context e.g. families and workplaces. So once again as was done in 2007 and 2008 in August of 2009 there will be Pastoral Forum where the laity can dialogue with the bishops, priests and some other Church bodies on issues relevant to both.    

HUMAN TRAFFICKING
In a Zenit report of 28th June entitled “More Attention Turns to Sexual Trafficking Victims” the issues is explored in detail and initiatives by women religious to combat the serious situations around trafficking in various countries and settings are highlighted.  The report can be read on www.zenit.org.  The subject is also dealt with in South Africa by a number of concerned groups including the SACBC Counter Trafficking in Persons Desk (CTIP) particularly in the light of the 2010 Soccer Cup.  More on www.sacbc.org.za

DISTURBING FACTS FOR FAMILY LIFE
The Medical Research Council conducted a study on the incidence of rape in South Africa and found that more than 25% of men admitted raping a woman or girl, with nearly 10% before the age of 10. 20% were HIV positive – a similar percentage to the general population.   Nearly half of these men said they were physically violent with their partners.      To read more visit news24.

SINGING FOR THE OLDIES
--Precious Lord, Take My Hand (And Help Me Stand Up)
--It Is Well With My Soul (But My Back Hurts)
--Nobody Knows The Trouble I Have Seeing
--Amazing Grace (I’ve Got This Far)
--Just A Slower Walk With Thee
--Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One By One
--Go Tell It On The Mountain (And Speak Up)
--Give Me That Old Timers Religion
--Blessed Insurance
--Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah (I’ve Forgotten Where I Parked)
    Humour from www.wwj.org.nz/laugh.php

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