MARFAM is entering its 15th year; it has been promoting the cause of family life since 1994.  Your financial support helps us to operate, produce the publications, including this monthly enewsletter and maintain our website. Advertise your company or project on the website, enewsletter or various publications or send a donation to P.O. Box 2881, Randburg 2125. South Africa.  Every Rand, Dollar or Euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow. THIS CHRISTMAS why not consider sending us a cheque or begin to make a small monthly donation into our bank account. Contact us for details.

It is hard to judge numbers but I would say that as many people and possibly more went to the bullfight in Mexico City on the Sunday afternoon as people who participated in the closing Mass of the 6th World Meeting of Families at the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in the morning.  Some, like me, attended both, and I must admit I am not sorry.  As a complete newcomer I found the bullfights fascinating and of course the Mass was a powerful and joyful celebration.  
Is it advertising and publicity or culture or faith that brings people to participate in the various possible ways to spend a Sunday in winter?  Maybe it is some of all those things.  People are creatures of habits, culture sits deep within us and I was impressed and intrigued by the cultures of Mexico. I was told all Mexicans are Guadalupans before they are Catholics or members of any other faith.  Our Lady is certainly a very real presence everywhere.

The World Meeting of Families was obviously about families as educators of values, about the ideals of family and church more than about the reality of actual family relationships and issues. The 7000 who attended the Pastoral-Eucharistic Congress know that marriage is a sacrament of love and life and that it needs to be promoted and supported, a message well-presented by Fr Cantalamessa.  In the presentation on Families and the Media they heard how parents/families still need to be the educators in values in today’s challenging technological age where our children have outclassed us long ago in the use of the modern media.  In other talks we heard how families too, somehow need to be protagonists for their own issues in the political arena. The 20 000 people who participated in the celebration of the Festive event brightened by flags from many countries across the globe and testimonies of families were there because of their faith and commitment, possibly more expecting to be led than involved in taking up their issues.
I shared my concerns with one of the international group of priests, couples and other family people who were housed together during the 6 days and so had time to network a little. His conclusion: “It is up to us present to lead, to find ways and means to bring again this message of the importance of marriage and family life to our own situations, to translate the message into some kind of action plans and programmes. It is our challenge to do this.”   And challenge it is to keep in mind the culture and way of life and worship of families in Uruguay and Uganda,  Seychelles and El Salvador, families that speak Spanish or English, Portuguese or French, all in addition to their own local language.
Clearly there were commonalities; the youth culture in developed countries has similarities and in developing countries and communities the youth aspire to what the more affluent have.  Christianity and Catholicism is in many ways countercultural. It does not promote material success and a throw-away society but does promote healthy relationships and long-term commitments which start and are maintained in the simple day-to-day events of family life.  But Catholicism is not just practicing good moral values, its essence is a relationship with a loving God and his Son Jesus, relationships that are also actualized in family life.  It is said, “The family that prays together stays together.”  In one of the talks someone stated “the family that eats together stays together” and I like to add “the family that plays together stays together.”  Values are caught as much as taught, values of life, communication, honesty, keeping of promises, commitment through thick and thin.  And of course the value of our cultures, whether one enjoys bullfighting or not could at least be a topic for a healthy, and necessary, family debate.
Toni Rowland

The 2009 calendar with its theme MARRIAGE AND FAMILY GROWING TOGETHER is proving popular and the monthly subthemes are developed in the quarterly magazine MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING.  Monthly reflections are published on the website and are also available in some local languages by email on request.   Calendars are still available at special reduced prices.
Also in the pipeline in time for Lent is a booklet TEACHING THE WAY OF LOVE, addressed to families as educators to highlight aspects of Catholic Social Teaching from a family angle.   Cost R8.00
Other relevant publications are STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR FAMILIES in English, Zulu and Sesotho and also for widowed people.  Subscriptions are still dribbling in. We are aware that crime has infiltrated the postal system and some cheques have been stolen in the post and altered so we do ask previous subscribers please to check whether they have been affected in this way.  Bank deposits are a safer way to conduct transactions in this day and age.  

REPORT OF 6TH WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES, MEXICO CITY JANUARY 13-18 2009
The meeting consisted of a number of events, a three-day Theological-Pastoral Congress, a Festive Event and the closing Mass.
The purpose was a meeting of families and of others around issues and needs of family life.  At the Congress papers were delivered on a range of topics, not always easily accessible to the vast host of ordinary family participants.  Speakers were from across the world, the majority of them Spanish-speaking from the various Spanish-speaking countries of Central and Latin America and Spain.  While Cardinals generally acted as facilitators almost all the speakers were lay people, a good proportion women and a number of presentations were made by couples. All this is indicative of the state of Catholic life. 
With the theme for the Meeting of “Families, teachers of human and Christian values” aspects  were addressed from theological, philosophical and also some more practical perspectives.
“What is a value?” “Family and the Value of Human Life,”  “Organisms that help the family with the education of values” were addressed on Day One.   Sacramental marriage as a lived experience of a couple relationship with God was well presented by Fr Cantalamessa and another highlight was “Family and the value of Human Life” by Dr Helen Alvare a professor in Family Law. A number of movements briefly presented their vision and the parish too was discussed as one of the organisms that help the family. 
Day Two considered “Family and Sexuality,” “Family and Mass Media,”  “Immigrant families” and areas of politics and the law.  The “Family and Sexuality” talk focused mostly on traditional marriage and the necessary sexuality education for youth. 
In “Family and Mass Media” Professor Gaitano raised the very practical concern of the need for families/parents to respond to the current reality where forms of the media are some of the most powerful means of formation of values, some positive but also many negatives.  The talks addressing politics spoke strongly of the need to lobby for pro-family, pro-life legislation. 
Day Three continued the exploration of families and their vocation as educators.  This is a major challenge to all families everywhere and in whatever context or stage of development and in a world where other agencies have voluntarily and involuntarily taken over the family’s role and responsibility. 
The value of monogamous heterosexual marriage and the sanctity of life featured strongly in many presentations and there tended to be a degree of repetitiveness in the presentations.  A list of values and catechesis on these had been part of the preparatory material for the meeting.   However there appeared to be a certain lack of consideration of actual values and life situations of families which although different across the world also display many similarities.  
The Congress ended on a note of celebration and this was continued into the Festive event held at the Basilica which was attended by many thousands more local people but not a vast number of children present with their families.  The Holy Father was represented throughout by Cardinal Bertoni, the Secretary of State, but at the closing Mass Pope Benedict himself was present through a live video transmission.  He greeted families and blessed them reinforcing the message of the fundamental importance of families and of building up and supporting the domestic church.
All in all the 6th World Meeting of Families was an enriching event for those of us present there. One participant called it a new beginning.  Possibly so, but whether as a beginning or continuation of work already in progress much needs to be done to provide the formation needed within the Church and to assist families in their task as educators. 
Three delegates from the SACBC region attended the meeting.  There were also a good number of delegates from other African countries in our region and further north.  It is hoped to establish closer ties with these neighbours in our continent.
One of the most valuable aspects of the meeting as a whole was the interaction between delegations made possible as some 120 delegates from various continents and countries were housed in one place and very ably looked after by a team of local seminarians. Apart from this the nature and format of the congress did unfortunately not allow for any dialogue or interaction between participants. The language barrier also made things difficult as English translations were not always available or easily accessible.  Being part of the Press and having greater access to resources was some help for me. 
Zenit has produced summaries of the various presentations which can be accessed on www.zenit.org and a visit to the website of the 6th World Meeting of Families www.emf2009.com is also well worthwhile. 

INTRODUCTION
One of the most important features of family life is that it is a changing, developing system, growing, and shrinking constantly as members grow older, leave and new members are added to the nuclear and extended family. This can vary vastly as each family is unique, made up of unique individuals in unique relationships. Although families are still considered the basic building blocks of society, forms of families are changing and challenges facing them today are greater than ever before. Commitment and skills are required for a family to function optimally over time.  
The Catholic Church teaches us that a sacramental marriage is the ideal foundation for a family but many families, even within the Church, are not built around the Sacrament of Matrimony. If one sees a sacrament as a living sign of the presence of a loving God in the world then many marriages too are not very effective signs. Being the sign is the special responsibility of couples, but every type of family too is called to be loving and life-giving.
The Sunday readings of weeks 21 to 27 of this year of Mark, year B in the liturgical cycle, are suitable for deeper reflection on marriage. It is suggested that communities could use this time to focus on marriage from different perspectives and end with a MARRIAGE DAY celebration on 27th Sunday, 4 October. Special resource materials will be provided by the SACBC Family Life Desk as was done in 2006 and 2003.  

Southern African Bishops show their Solidarity with the People of Zimbabwe by declaring 15 February 2009 as ‘Zimbabwe Sunday’.
Call for Practical Solidarity.
The Catholic Bishops of Botswana, South Africa and Swaziland have asked the Catholic community in their countries to contribute in practical ways to relieving the suffering of the people of Zimbabwe.
Having heard from Bishops from Zimbabwe about the appalling humanitarian situation in their country, the Bishops took advantage during their Plenary meeting to issue a call to the SADC Special Summit, also meeting in Pretoria, to stop all support for Mugabe. They also called on Mugabe to resign so that credible presidential elections could be held. The Bishops warned that the situation in Zimbabwe was becoming so dire that inaction on the part of SADC would be tantamount to support for a ‘Passive Genocide’ in Zimbabwe.
The Bishops undertook to provide an immediate contribution for Zimbabwe from their own Diocesan coffers. Parishes and communities are asked to make contributions which will be distributed through the Caritas network in Zimbabwe.    Contact local diocesan office.
Subsequent to this pastoral statement the MDC agreed to join a Government of National Unity as one of the options open to them to avoid further suffering.   The need for prayer and material support remains as strong as before. 

Credit Crunch – Help for Families. Familias, the Association for Catholic diocesan Marriage and Family Ministry has highlighted on their website some resources for families struggling as a result of the downturn in the economy.   Visit www.celebratingfamily.org.uk/familias_resources.html for ideas.

UK CATHOLIC BISHOPS’ CONFERENCE, MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE PROJECT OFFICE
produces a regular bulletin of information and resources.  To subscribe email elizabeth.davies@cbcew.org.uk.
For the “Home is a Holy Place” Resource Pack visit www.homeisaholyplace.org.uk/Resource_pack.htm

A SIMPLE GUIDE TO SOUTH AFRICAN FAMILY LAW
“We are writing to you to make you aware of a book that has been written with the aim of helping ordinary people protect themselves when it comes to family law issues. The book is titled: A Simple Guide to South African Family law. The book has been endorsed by Judge Belinda Van Heerdeen of the Supreme court of Appeal, who has also written the foreword. The book has also been published by Siber Ink publishers and it contains the family law as at November 2008.( Date of publication: December 2008) More information about the book can be found on www.siberink.co.za; or call Nthabiseng 083 674 8236 or Mpumi 0734215203.”

“Without resorting to the “lawyers’ language” that makes many books on family law difficult to understand for the non-lawyer, A Simple Guide to South African Family Law covers those aspects of family law most likely to affect the lives of ordinary people.”   Cost R120

METANOIA MEDIA  
It may sound obvious but "the mission of the Church is the proclamation of the Gospel, it is communication".  Did you know that we currently operate the only full-time Catholic video and multimedia production studio in South Africa? In recent years we have been committed to producing high-end low budget documentaries on issues that involve the Catholic community. (For a sample, watch our award winning film here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=839354539148921701)
Our studio has been operating for over fifteen years and in spite of the high costs related to this industry we have managed to develop without funding from the Church, funding organisations or the private sector. Sadly, we have often seen how many Protestant denominations in South Africa are doing so much more in the media than us Catholics, and with far fewer adherents than ourselves. We believe this can change if the Catholic community show their support. We are now appealing for your help because our ambitious plans can only be realised through the generosity of the community.  We are currently spearheading the formation of new networks of talented Catholic media professionals from around Southern Africa and a new entity will soon be formed. Visit www.CatholicStudio.com for more details.
To get you up to speed with what has been happening in our world (and the buzz surrounding this project) you could view the PowerPoint presentation (download it here: http://www.catholicportal.co.za/CSpres.pps).

"Throughout history the image has been placed at the service of the proclamation of Christianity, from the first paintings in the catacombs, to the immense cycles of frescoes and stained glass windows in the cathedrals for the instruction and prayer of the people, to the printing of the Gospel pictures occasionally used by missionaries […] right up to our times in which photography and television have given birth to a true culture or civilization of the image." said Fr Lombardi.

ST AUGUSTINE COLLEGE PUBLIC LECTURE
Dr Rodney Moss, Head of the School of Theology at St Augustine College of South Africa will be giving a lecture as follows:-

TITLE:                    THE LIVING TRADITION OF THE CHURCH: FIXED AND MOBILE
DATE:                    18 FEBRUARY 2009
TIME:                    18H30
VENUE:                  St Augustine College of South Africa, 26 Road No. 3, Victory Park
COST:                    R20.00
RSVP:                    Margaret Mollett – Tel: (011) 782-4616/ Fax: (011) 782-8729/ Email: M.Mollett@staugustine.ac.za

CULTURE OF LIFE NEWS – JOHANNESBURG
INVITATION to MEETING to plan action for the year.
When: Saturday 7 February 2009  1.00 Holy Hour, 2.00 Meeting.
Where: The Cathedral

On February 1 1997 abortion on demand was legalised in South Africa.  
“The gift of divine life strengthens and renews life here on earth. Every human being is to be valued because we are created by God in his image. We also believe that by incarnation, Jesus Christ united himself with every human being. Based on the tenets of faith, life on earth is a gift entrusted to human beings to be preserved, protected and valued." Archbishop Buti Tlhagale.

PRESIDENT OBAMA AND THE ABORTION ISSUE

Obama Clears Way for U.S. Funding of Abortion Overseas
By Samantha Singson
(NEW YORK - C-FAM )  On his third day in office, U.S. president Barack Obama fulfilled his promise to abortion rights groups by issuing an executive rescinding the Mexico City Policy that protected American taxpayers from funding abortion overseas. Obama’s executive order makes international non-governmental organizations (NGOs) that promote and perform abortions in developing countries eligible for public funds.
Considered by many to be one of the most effective pro-life policies of the Reagan and Bush administrations, the Mexico City policy required that NGOs pledge they would not “perform or promote abortion” in order to qualify for family planning funds from the U.S. Agency for International Development.  International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), the largest abortion provider in the world, estimates that it has lost more than $100 million in funding because of the policy.”

Austin Ruse, Friday Fax and C-Fam report on Pro-life issues at the United Nations and from the US. For more news, visit www.c-fam.org.

HEARTLINES

Take 5 minute couple-breaks a few times a day to do some of the following:

• Cuddle at the most important time of the day, not just last thing at night.
• Connect with each other. Ask each other simple questions about your day. 
  What do you think is going to happen today?  What plans do you have?
• Share what you like about each other.
• Do small kindnesses for each other.
• Destress together.  Have a griping session together where each can let off steam while the other partner just listens.

Contact Marfam

Tel: +27 11 789 5449
Fax: +27 11 789 5449
Email: info@marfam.org.za
Web:
www.marfam.org.za

Support our advertisers 

GGR ASSIST
Your Guide to Financial Freedom

Address: 47 Eastwood Road DUNKELD
Cell:  083 659 3392    Phone: 011-788 8786   Fax : 086 605 6720

St. Luke’s Retreat Centre

10 Park Lane, Central, Port Elizabeth. P O Box 12194, Centrahil 6006. South Africa

Tel: +27 +(0)41 373 0039 Fax: +27 +(0)86 606 5307 Mobile:+27 +(0)74 376 5833

Read more about our "Directed Retreats" http://www.catholic-pe.co.za/directed.htm

Your very own Catholic Radio station in South Africa

Programme schedule on our website.
www.radioveritas.co.za

Mass every day at 12h30 and mass and magazine programme from 11h00 – 13h00 each Sunday.

Phone us at 011 663-4700 or write to us at 4599, Edenvale 1610

"So you're going away to unwind or to play
Or possibly simply to BE.
If you're coming south-west
We have to suggest
That you sample
EMMAUS ON SEA.

Yzerfontein - Western Cape

Find out more at
www.emmaus.co.za

Contact Marfam

Tel: +27 11 789 5449
Fax: +27 11 789 5449
Email: info@marfam.org.za
Web:
www.marfam.org.za