REQUEST: BEFRIEND THE FAMILY

MARFAM has been promoting the cause of family life since 1994.  Your financial support helps us to operate, produce the publications, including this monthly enewsletter and maintain our website. Advertise your company or project on the website, enewsletter or various publications or send a donation to P.O. Box 2881, Randburg 2125. South Africa. Every Rand, Dollar or Euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow. Send us a cheque or make a small monthly donation into our bank account.Contact us for details.

Be what? Do what?  Are these perennial questions maybe pertinent in a particular way as we celebrate Mission month?  What is our mission, as individuals, couples, families, Catholics, South Africans, world citizens?
The world has had its financial turbulence and living in South Africa has also exposed us to momentous political changes in the last few weeks.  Long-standing internal strife in the ruling party ultimately resulting in the sacking of the president, resignations by some of his closer supporters and installation of a new order is not only seen as being purely in the political domain but has an impact on every citizen. Having just participated in the Johannesburg Archdiocesan Synod I did gain some insights into the perceptions in this very different domain. In a sense for me the identified issues, a search for spirituality, a need for ongoing formation are still too general and too unrelated to daily life. The need for renewed ardour – in the words of John Paul II - and a new evangelisation are clear. A conversion experience, being knocked off one’s horse, as the apostle Paul was, is a need. It happened to a group of the youth in their pre-Synod session and their ardour and zeal were clearly visible but this is not the experience and reality of the majority of youth and of the adults in our Church.
Pope Benedict XVI in his Mission Sunday message reminds us that the love of Christ led Paul in his mission. “By looking at his experience, we understand that missionary activity is a response to the love with which God loves us. It is the spiritual energy that can make the harmony, justice and communion grow among persons, races and peoples to which everyone aspires (cf. "Deus Caritas Est", n. 12).” He stated that God calls the evangelizers to drink from Jesus Christ, the original source and from this source can care, tenderness, compassion, hospitality, availability and interest in people's problems be drawn. 
Some missionaries are still called to leave home and country and dedicate their lives fully to spreading the Gospel.  The Holy Father addresses others “Dear faithful laity, you who act in the different areas of society are all called to take part in an increasingly important way in spreading the Gospel. A complex and multiform areopagus (arena) opens up before you to be evangelized: the world. Give witness with your lives that Christians ‘belong to a new society which is the goal of their common pilgrimage and which is anticipated in the course of that pilgrimage’ ("Spe Salvi", n. 4).”  The political arena is one for action resulting from the love of Christ and not from the allegiance to a particular political party. It was sad but shocking to hear a caller on one radio programme loudly proclaim, “The ANC is our church. We don’t worship a person, we worship the party.”  And then how does all this relate to the Zimbabwe situation at this time? 

Specifically as a family person in South Africa then what is one’s calling and mission?  The mission to build up family life as a whole, to strengthen marriages, is not taken sufficiently seriously I believe.  Better parent-child communication is a call from both sides and families have the right and duty to instill morals and discipline. What moral lessons is it our mission to learn and teach our children, by example as their role-models? Our government promotes moral regeneration and positive moral values, but when push comes to shove what is being practised?  Where is the morality in what we have seen on the world stage?
People have different missions or callings to serve; the poor, the strangers, the marginalized in the current economic climate certainly deserve attention, as does the issue of HIV/AIDS. These are massive tasks and stated objectives of government and many NGOs and church bodies too, but marriage, family and culture of life issues are not on everyone’s agenda and that is where we as Church are called to be prophetic.  
Is it good enough to be a good spouse, parent, son or daughter? Is it necessary to do more than one is doing?  Each one of us has the task of discerning our mission, be it an active or supportive one, a being or a doing.     
I don’t believe we have a right to judge anyone’s mission, spirituality or levels of commitment. I believe our task as evangelizers or missionaries is to experience the love of God in our personal relationships, celebrate it, witness to it, dialogue with others about it but form parents to form their children too to discern their personal mission.  
No simple song that but one to be sung with a particular kind of joy, maybe in the ways of some of the early rock-n-roll singers.  In their words, “doobedoobedoo………..”
Toni Rowland

The year has marched by and the 4th issue of Marriage and Family Living is being distributed.  See below for the themes for the quarter.  The monthly article published on www.marfam.org.za reflects on human trafficking as a form of slavery. 
The 2009 SACBC Family Life Calendar is ready for distribution. The theme is “Marriage and Family growing together” and in the form of a growth chart it is hoped that families and those who support and educate them will promote that concept.  The overview of the themes can be downloaded from www.marfam.org.za
Prices R300 for 100,  R100 for 30 and R4 each for smaller orders.  Postage to be added.   Contact us for prices for overseas orders. 

2008 FAMILY LIFE PROJECT, THEME:  “ME AND MY FAMILY”
Each monthly theme provides opportunities for family life education and enrichment.  Some parishes do use these in preparing homilies, parish events and bidding prayers at Mass.
Family oriented reflections on the Sunday readings are published on www.marfam.org.za
and in MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING in English and are also available in some different languages by email on request.   For the next months there is a general focus on the readings of Paul where these occur in the light of the Year of Paul.

2009 FAMILY LIFE THEME – MARRIAGE AND FAMILY, GROWING TOGETHER
One of the most important features of family life is that it is a changing, developing system, growing, and shrinking constantly as members grow older, leave and new members are added to a family. The way families change and develop can vary vastly as each family is unique, made up of unique individuals in unique relationships with one another. 
Month by month throughout this year we can consider ways in which families are growing or not. 
Those who plan their liturgy well in advance may wish to note that as the liturgical readings during this year of Mark, year B in the three yearly liturgical cycle, lend themselves to deeper reflection on marriage from weeks 21 to 27 it is suggested that communities could use this time to focus broadly on marriage from different perspectives and end with a MARRIAGE DAY celebration on 27th Sunday, 4 October 2009. Special materials for reflection and liturgical celebration will be provided by the SACBC Family Life Desk as was done in 2006 and 2003.  This marriage awareness initiative was initially a recommendation from SECAM (Symposium of Episcopal Conferences of Africa and Madagascar after the 1994 African Synod chose the image “Church as Family.”  

PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY UPDATE.
Family life teams in parishes are encouraged to support Mission Month by inviting families to reflect on their own mission but also to make a special effort to support the collections taken up this month for the Pontifical Mission Societies and to discover more about this universal mission of the Church on google.    

NEXT FOLLOWUP PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY WORKSHOP, Springs parish 15 November with emphasis on planning for 2009.
The Midrand workshop on 13 September was well attended and participants had the opportunity to experience a little of the parish’s marriage preparation programme.   
A Parish Family Ministry will be held in Kimberley diocese 17-19 October. Visits to other dioceses, Cape Town in early November, Kwa-Zulu Natal and Gaborone in Botswana are opportunities to promote this vision to others.
 
6th WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES – MEXICO 13-18 JANUARY 2009.
This three-yearly “family gathering” of families together with Church leaders includes a three day Congress and meetings with the Holy Father.  There is still time to arrange participation in this and I would like to hear from people who might be interested in attending as individuals, families or diocesan or family life movement representatives. Visit www.emf2009.com to read all about the meeting.
The theme for the meeting will be “The Family, teacher in human and Christian values.”   Preparatory catecheses have been prepared by the Pontifical Council for the Family and can be downloaded from the website  www.vatican.va

ONGOING FORMATION, EDUCATION, MISSION.  Some opportunities for families to discuss and discern together how to respond to the call to be missionaries.  

1. To learn more about missions and missionaries visit www.worldmissions-catholicchurch.org or google for more info on the Pontifical Missison Societies and related topics.   For Pope Benedict’s Mission Sunday message visit www.vatican.va

2. “Theology of the Body” has been exciting quite some interest in particular amongst the youth but it should be particularly relevant for married couples.  This vision of Pope John Paul II was developed over many weeks of his regular catechesis. Starting from an understanding of humanity created in the image of God which is expressed in one’s physical nature including our sexuality the Theology of the Body can also be seen as a further development of the encyclical of Pope Paul VI Humanae Vitae. Christopher West has developed courses around this available on CD and DVD and to my knowledge some are being run on this in Johannesburg and Tzaneen dioceses.  Google for more info or enquire in your own diocese.
           
3. VOLUNTEERS FOR BOSCO YOUTH CENTRE for 2009. How to spend a gap year.
The Bosco centre, south of Johannesburg, is a Salesian retreat and activity centre targeting the youth. It runs its own programmes including the popular LoveMatters, a 5 day sexuality programme for 15 to 20 year olds and is also available for parish and other groups for their own programmes. 
Each year from January to December a group of 20-something's volunteer their services; young people who want to bring the Good News to others in a youthful and energetic way. Some volunteers are local, others are from other countries. A good knowledge and practice of the Catholic faith is at the heart of each volunteer with a passion to see youth grow in faith, but to have fun at the same time.
Families can encourage your young people; if you have a gap year, a year for the Lord, a year for reflection and action this may appeal to you.
For more information and to apply contact Fr Robert Gore on boscoypt@iafrica.com or go to our website www.boscocentre.co.za    PIC

4. ST AUGUSTINE COLLEGE OF SOUTH AFRICA  
BACHELOR OF COMMERCE (POLITICS, PHILOSOPHY AND ECONOMIS)
Starting in January 2009 St Augustine College of South Africa, a private catholic university based in Johannesburg is launching a Bachelor of Commerce degree with a difference.
“Our approach rejects the ‘conveyor-belt image of education’ where knowledge is imparted to large groups of passive students. Here, the approach is to ‘awaken dormant potential’ in each individual through active and living dialogue with educators – made possible by the fact that our classes are small (with never more than 50 students per class).
Broader than other BCom degrees, ours is based on economics, politics and philosophy as majors.  This powerful combination gives graduates a solid commercial grounding, united with rigorous understanding of the political and cultural context in which they will live and work in the future. 
Bursaries for financial need are available. “
Contact Chrissy Kleynhans   
Tel:  (+27) (0) 11 782 4616 Fax: (+27) (0) 11 782 8729  email:  c.kleynhans@staugustine.ac.za   pic

LEARN MORE ABOUT MARRIAGE
www.2-in-2-1.co.uk  Marriage matters at 2-in-2-1 A comprehensive and fun website with much info about marriage. - the one place to come to shape, enrich, maintain or repair your marriage!
Marriage, from planning your wedding, to enriching and enhancing your couple relationship, support through marital problems, and even the challenges of breakdown and divorce is what 2-in-2-1 is all about.

Or visit the US Catholic Bishops conference special website www.foryourmarriage.org

Marriage in Africa?  We would welcome anyone to point us to good, informative sites on this specific aspect of marriage.

Pope Benedict speaking to participants in the Retrouvaille International meeting held in Rome recently.
"Serious and grave" marital problems "are a reality with two faces," the Pontiff said. "On one hand,
especially in its acute and most painful phase, it seems to be a failure, proof that the dream has ended or has become a nightmare and, unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done. This is the negative side.
"But there is another side, which we frequently fail to recognize, but that God sees. Every crisis, in fact nature teaches us this -- is a step to a new phase of life. If in the case of inferior creatures, this happens automatically; in humans it implies liberty, the will, and therefore a 'hope that is greater' than the desperation."
"In the darkest moments, spouses have lost hope. It is then that the need arises for other persons to care for it, for a 'we,' for the company of genuine friends that, with the greatest respect but also with the sincere will to do good, are ready to share some of their own hope with those who have lost it."
Retrouvaille, the programme for hurting marriages operates in South Africa in Johannesburg and Durban and in many countries around the world.  Visit www.retrouvaille.org

TIPS FOR PARENTING
More details at info@intouchparenting.co.za
1. A goal-oriented budget
2. Budgeting is not just your baby
3. Budgeting can be fun
4. Challenge yourself
5. Forget about credit cards
6. Budgeting does not require 100% accuracy
7. Buying the best-of-the-best may not be the best thing to do
8. Budgeting helps build healthy relations too
9. Building a safety net
10. Be flexible
“Parents used to have lots of children – now children have lots of parents” a thought to reflect on overnight.

JOHANNESBURG.   Day of Reflection for Widowed people.  Sunday 16 November. Salesian Centre, Booysens.   Contact Toni at toni@marfam.org.za

Hi Toni, listening to the homily on EWTN to-day, there was a call for all viewers to join forces with all Churches in the USA to fast and pray for the next 40 days for the reversal of the abortion laws in that country. I would propose that a “40 days for life” be adopted here in our country too. With the current happenings in our Government Dave and I are going to participate with prayer and fasting for the abolition of the Abortion laws in our country by the new incoming Government. Would you promote it via Marfam?  Check out the web page at www.40daysforlife.com.  Warmest greetings,  Eugenie

CULTURE OF LIFE AND PRO-LIFE
www.ChristianView.org.   UNDERSTANDING THE BASICS OF PRO-LIFE THEOLOGY.
Damian McLeish sent in an article “Is Humanae vitae” a Catholic Issue? A Protestant minister evaluates birth control.”   The full text can be accessed at www.missionariestopre-born.com

A R20 note and a 20c piece met at a shebeen one night.
“Where you have been,” asked the 20c piece, “I haven’t seen you around recently?”  
“Oh, I’ve been around, been busy, travelling here and there, to Durbs, DRC and yes, even to Mexico.  It’s been great seeing all those places.  But what about you, what have you been up to?” 
The 20c piece looked quite forlorn and answered, “Oh well, for me it’s church, church, church!”

Contact Marfam

Tel: +27 11 789 5449
Fax: +27 11 789 5449
Email: info@marfam.org.za
Web:
www.marfam.org.za

"So you're going away to unwind or to play
Or possibly simply to BE.
If you're coming south-west
We have to suggest
That you sample
EMMAUS ON SEA.

Yzerfontein - Western Cape

Find out more at
www.emmaus.co.za

St. Luke’s Retreat Centre

10 Park Lane, Central, Port Elizabeth. P O Box 12194, Centrahil 6006. South Africa

Tel: +27 +(0)41 373 0039 Fax: +27 +(0)86 606 5307 Mobile:+27 +(0)74 376 5833

Read more about our "Directed Retreats" http://www.catholic-pe.co.za/directed.htm

Your very own Catholic Radio station in South Africa

Programme schedule on our website.
www.radioveritas.co.za

Mass every day at 12h30 and mass and magazine programme from 11h00 – 13h00 each Sunday.

Phone us at 011 663-4700 or write to us at 4599, Edenvale 1610

Contact Marfam

Tel: +27 11 789 5449
Fax: +27 11 789 5449
Email: info@marfam.org.za
Web:
www.marfam.org.za