REQUEST: BEFRIEND THE FAMILY

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On my travels a day or so ago my eye was caught by a newspaper poster that read “Love your country.”  Presuming the poster to be from The Star I bought the paper to try to discover which article that encouraging statement referred to.  On the front page was a picture of a leopard catching and killing a crocodile – something, as was stated, that that would normally happen the other way round.  There was an article about overwhelming public support for the Scorpions, the crack crime-fighting unit that is to be closed down by Parliament. Then there was an article about Patricia de Lille and the Independent Democrats welcoming disillusioned members of the ruling ANC and two bits of news about Johannesburg, first that it has its power reserves so well in hand there will be no need for further load shedding and then that electricity tariff increases are graded and that the poor will receive some free electricity and a lower increase. “To which of these could that slogan, ‘Love your country!’ possibly refer,” I had to ask myself. Or deeper into the paper, ongoing active support for ANC President Jacob Zuma in the face of his upcoming corruption trial,  or support for the negotiations on the future of Zimbabwe as being directed, or misdirected, by President Mbeki. Or maybe it refers to the unresolved xenophobia crisis in different ways. Or possibly it is challenging us to support our sports teams, particularly our soccer teams rather badly outclassed recently by visiting Manchester United.
I don’t believe I am alone in finding some difficulty in loving my country at this time, considering  that there are things happening that don’t make it particularly loveable. Almost more problematic is the inability, possibly as a white South African, to understand the rationale behind some of these happenings. Surely not just popular appeal or, to some of us, an inexplicable sense of loyalty to a person or cause no matter what, but justice, peace, harmony, honesty, integrity, a positive work ethic and right relationships should be what makes people proudly South African. 
South Africa is celebrating not only Women’s Day on 9th August but what has become Women’s month.  Are women taking the lead in making us all proud or are they in it “for yourself” as one advertiser keeps telling us.  
The SA Catholic Bishops Conference will again be engaging in a Pastoral Forum on 9th August to consider as laity together with the bishops and clergy representatives from all the dioceses what we as Church and particularly as laity should do in the current situation in the three countries in the Conference region, South Africa, Botswana and Swaziland.  Christifideles Laici  John Paul’s letter on the Vocation and Mission of the Lay Faithful puts it like this. “The secular world is the place in which the lay faithful received their call from God.  They live in the world, that is, in every one of the secular professions and occupations: they study, they work, they form relationships as friends, professionals, members of societies, cultures, etc.  The tem ‘secular’ must be understood in the light of the act of God the creator and redeemer who has handed over the world to women and men, so that they may participate in the work of creation, free creation from the influence of sin and sanctify themselves in marriage or the celibate life, in a family, in a profession and in the various activities of society.”  They are to be the salt, the light and the leaven.
It is not be easy to respond to and live out this calling in the current context, with elections looming in South Africa and politicians, both male and female, positioning themselves for power, while Swaziland too is not a model of democracy.  
The family life theme for August is “Me, Woman and Man” and clearly refers to our own view of ourselves as male or female persons and how we relate to one another as such in all aspects of life, from home to workplace and the political arena.  
Aptly the South African patronal feast of Mary, Queen assumed into heaven is celebrated in August, Women’s month.  What message does she have for each of us?  With what devotion should we South Africans beg for her intercession for this country that we choose to love in spite of its shortcomings?  

PS.   Maybe parishes could borrow the idea and put up a poster “LOVE YOUR CHURCH!”

The relevant article from No 3 issue of Marriage and Family Living, “Me, Woman and Man” is published on the website www.marfam.org.za.  It provides some information on gender identity, sexual identity and orientation and types of irregularities. Also of interest in the current issue are articles exploring the laity and the family and the Social Teaching of the Church as well as one on St Paul and Marriage.  Other MARFAM publications are noted on the website.

As we mention from time to time, this is a MARFAM newsletter, but has been found to be a helpful way of providing information about the SACBC Family Life Desk too.

2008 FAMILY LIFE PROJECT, THEME:  “ME AND MY FAMILY”
Each monthly theme provides opportunities for family life education and enrichment.  Some parishes do use these in preparing homilies, parish events and bidding prayers at Mass.
Family oriented reflections on the Sunday readings are published on www.marfam.org.za and in MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING in English and are also available in some different languages by email on request.   There is a focus on the readings of Paul where these occur in the light of the Year of Paul.

The 6TH WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES is to be held in Mexico from 13-18 January 2009.  Like World Youth Day this happens every three years and includes a three day Congress and meetings with the Holy Father.  I would like to hear from people who might be interested in attending this, as individuals, families or diocesan or family life movement representatives. It is potentially a very enriching experience, although most likely not having quite the excitement and hype of the youth event.  Information can be obtained from the website www.emf2009.com
The theme for the meeting will be “The Family, teacher in human and Christian values.”   Preparatory catecheses on the topic below have been prepared by the Pontifical Council for the Family and can be downloaded from the website www.vatican.va

• The family, first educator of faith
• The family, educator of the truth of man: marriage and family
• The family, educator of dignity and respect for all human person
• The family, transmitter of human virtues and values
• The family, open to God and fellow men
• The family, former of the strict moral conscience
• The family, first experience of Church
• Collaborators of the family: parish and school
• The family and the model of the family of Nazareth
• The family, recipient and agent of the new evangelization

 

WORLD YOUTH DAY 2008
Every one of the delegates I interviewed who experienced the event found it amazing and most enriching for themselves as Catholics. I asked what impact this event would have for families. Some had travelled and attended as families and the spiritual bonding was wonderful.  The families who hosted the youth, making friends and affirming their faith as Catholics are also considered great benefits that hopefully will last well into their future lives as they begin to build families of their own.  Many said that we here in SA too need experiences such as this to give a real injection of enthusiasm for our faith.
Some youth shared that they see the world around them as hostile to their faith; they dare not stand up for their beliefs, while for others their environment is indifferent and apathetic. 
During the event the world media unfortunately tended to be biased and almost gave more attention to Pope Benedict’s apology for sexual abuse by clergy than to the more positive side, the joyous walk, prayer vigil and Mass.

HUMANAE VITAE 40 YEARS ON and THE THEOLOGY OF THE BODY  
To mark this landmark occasion much has been written from various perspectives and articles can be accessed doing a websearch on google.  Catholic Online www.catholic.org  has some good articles discussing this still controversial 1968 encyclical of Pope Paul VI which speaks of marriage and the beauty of sexual love and yet is best known for its rejection of artificial contraception.   
The Theology of the Body of Pope John Paul II can be seen as an ongoing development of the thinking of Humanae Vitae and is becoming popular in a number of places.  
 
RESOURCES FOR SEXUALITY EDUCATION AND INFORMATION
With the August family life theme of Me, Woman and Man we have chosen not to focus on women alone but on the broader gender issue.  The topic of sexuality and the family is often covered by MARFAM in articles and lesson materials are available.
Some resources around Johannesburg but also elsewhere focus on  youth sexuality and lifestyle education:   
Education for Life – a Behaviour Modification programme. Ideally presented over 5 days with follow-up sessions of Youth Alive available.   Contact 012 323 6458
Love Matters – is offered at Bosco Youth Centre outside Johannesburg mainly for 5 days to school groups. Contact 011 949 2360
Just-1-Teen.  The team visits schools to interact with youth. Contact 011 453 5096
Natural Family Planning is taught in some different places around the country, though not very many. It is approved also by the National Health Department.  Request information from MARFAM.  
Pope John Paul’s Theology of the Body is one of the newest resources offered in South Africa.  Contact 011 744 3713.
Young and not so young people and their families at times could have a need to discern about sexual orientation. Google again will provide quite a range of sources of information and the topic is covered in the current issue of Marriage and Family Living.    

HEARTLINES is an initiative that uses forms of the media such as TV, radio and also cellphones in continuing to promote healthy and value-filled family and social lives.  Their latest project can be found on www.forgood.co.za and uses a positive approach to building up society which also includes a spiritual element.  Suggestions: “Get children involved in positive after-school activities. Unsupervised youth and children are more vulnerable to doing crime and being victims of crime.”
“Pray for men and women to take the responsibility of parenting seriously - to look after children in every way - physically, morally and spiritually - whether in a family situation or in church family relationships.”  

LUMKO is an associate body of the SACBC.  Its mission is research, reflection, training and production of resource materials.  Of particular interest to the family apostolate are its marriage programmes that include a particular cultural awareness of the reality of marriage and family life amongst black South Africans. The Marriage Preparation programme is also available in Zulu. Two other faith reflection and sharing programmes are available on issues around marriage.  Many other resources for training for parish life, pastoral councils and for community building have been produced over the years. Contact lumko@global.co.za for their comprehensive catalogue or more information. 

YEAR OF PAUL 

“Self branding tells the world who you are and where you want to be. It is simply marketing yourself.  Your personal and professional success depends on how well you do this.”   From The Peer Group. 
“I do not understand why some people are saying that women and men are exactly the same, and are denying the beautiful differences between men and women. All God's gifts are good, but they are not all the same. As I often say to people who tell me they would like to serve the poor as I do. "What I can do, you cannot. What you can do, I cannot. But together we can do something beautiful for God." It is just this way with the differences between women and men.   God has created each one us, every human being, for greater things - to love and to be loved. But why did God make some of us men and others women? Because a women's love is one image of the love of God, and a man's love is another image of God's love.   Both are created to love, but each in a different way. Women and man complete each other, and together show forth God's love more fully than either can do alone.   That special power of loving that belongs to a woman is seen most clearly when she becomes a mother. Motherhood is the gift of God to women. How grateful we must be to God for this wonderful gift that brings such joy to the whole world, women and men a like!   From Mother Theresa of Calcutta, in her address to Women’s Conference in Beijing 1994.
And on a lighter note from “Walking with Jesus” ministries   www.wwj.org.nz

A TROUBLESOME FRUIT
It wasn't the apple that caused the trouble in the Garden of Eden, it was the pair on the ground.

DOMESTIC PROBLEMS
Adam was walking outside of the Garden of Eden with Cane and Abel when the boys were young. Cane and Abel looked into the garden and viewed waterfalls, lovely birds, lush forests and fruit trees bending over because of the large amounts of fruit on them.
Then they took a long look at where they lived at. It was dry, dusty with weeds and sickly-looking trees.
"Daddy? Why don't we live in there instead of out here?" they asked innocently.
Adam said, "Well sons. Eve and I use to live in there at one time. But your mother ate us out of house and home."

THE COST OF LIVING
God said to Adam, "I am going to make you a helper, a companion. What would you like your companion to be like?" Adam replied, "Well I want someone that is humorous, witty, intelligent, compassionate, caring, loving, trusting, polite, generous and beautiful."
God paused a moment after Adam's wish list and told Adam that a companion like that 'would cost him an arm and a leg.' Adam seemed a little dejected and then brightly replied: "What can I get for a Rib?"

FEMINIST LOGIC
A feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," so she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm twelve blocks past my stop already!"

FEMINIST BUSINESS SENSE
Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Goldberg.

Contact Marfam

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"So you're going away to unwind or to play
Or possibly simply to BE.
If you're coming south-west
We have to suggest
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EMMAUS ON SEA.

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Contact Marfam

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