THE HIGHEST AUTHORITY

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One could say that the SA Constitutional Court, if not parliament, has just been working in our favour for a change. This is something to be grateful for, but from this a question arises that concerns us as Catholics or Christians. Without necessarily being unpatriotic, ‘Is the Constitution the highest authority for us?’

This question is particularly relevant at this time because of two issues being dealt with in the Parliamentary system. One is that highly contentious one of same-sex unions which is being debated in parliament and the other is the Amendment to the Termination of Pregnancy Bill, dealing with certain aspects of abortion. This was challenged by the organization Doctors for Life. The Constitutional Court has ruled that this amendment is unconstitutional on grounds that there had been insufficient public consultation in terms of the requirements of the Constitution. Incidentally another bill dealing with provincial boundaries has been successfully challenged on the same grounds. The same-sex unions issue was referred by the Constitutional Court to parliament and is being addressed because it is seen to be discriminatory and therefore unconstitutional. Our recourse is lobbying for widest public support or for an amendment to the Constitution.

One could then ask whether this situation allows John or Jane Citizen to jump to certain conclusions?

Without getting into the technicalities of these bills or into the issues what I wish to raise is the question of authority. Our SA Constitution is lauded almost universally as one of the most liberal in the world and because it has such a strong focus on human rights (here read individual rights). The same right however does not apply to the unborn, with the woman’s right over her body overriding the right to life of the unborn baby. If, in terms of the Constitution and its democratic processes wide consultation has to take place to validate any law, would such consultation then result in a repeal of the Termination of Pregnancy Bill as a whole if the majority in fact do not approve it. Similarly would same-sex unions be prevented from become legalized as marriages because the majority of people are expected to be against this? Next question, “Could the death penalty be re-instated because of public demand?”

All this begs the question, “Is democracy a two-edged sword?” Are we as a people sufficiently informed and formed to make rational as well as moral decisions? At the same time do we, Catholics in particular, understand that God’s law as interpreted by the Magisterium of the Church and based on natural law is not a democratic one? Do we accept that God’s law is a higher authority than the constitution of any country? Do we still accept that there could be absolute rights and wrongs too? And yet at the same time the Church teaches that the highest authority of all to be obeyed is our own conscience, which must be an informed conscience and not an easy way out of having to make a difficult choice.

I found it necessary to do some homework on this topic and I know that with the help of google I only scratched the surface. However as the saying goes “I have it on the highest authority,” that of the then Cardinal Ratzinger, in an article “Conscience and Truth” downloaded from www.ewtn.com and one of many on the topic. Moral decisions are made in a social context. However, a true conscience does not act from subjectivity or social conformity. It is the spark of divine love, the voice of God implanted in us by virtue of our creation in God’s image and likeness. It is a yearning for truth, that is discerned as an issue is prayed over, progressively understood and freely chosen.

I concluded that clearly a living relationship with God is required to be able to hear the inner voice. Will this inner voice of God then lead one under particular conditions to use a condom, natural or artificial contraception, or to cohabit, remarry or condone same-sex unions, or to turn a blind eye to the blind beggar at the car window? Who knows but God?

Toni Rowland

A series of reflections, sharing questions and suggested action based on the liturgical readings of Cycle B - 21st to 27th Sundays (27th August – 8th October 2006)

The Sacrament of Matrimony is a foundation sacrament of the Church. As sacrament means sign, the way couples live out their sacrament is a sign to one another and to the whole community. It is a sign of the presence and love of God. It is therefore important for those who are married and also for the whole community.
These short reflections are intended first of all for couples and can be used too by those preparing for marriage. Individuals and groups, such as prayer groups or faith sharing groups can use them or incorporate them into other meetings to help them to understand and value the role that marriage plays in the Church and in building the Kingdom of God in the world.
Faith sharing groups have been promoted in the Church for a number of years but reflecting and sharing as a couple may be new to many and may feel strange at first. There are also many couples where one spouse is Catholic and the other worships in another faith community. The reflections are for all couples, those married a short while or fifty years, those who are happy and those who are struggling, because for all couples their marriage is the way to holiness. VII Gaudium et Spes
The approach used here is to invite some reflection and sharing on life experience, then consider what God could be saying through the readings and finally to consider what action could be taken for the sake of the particular marriage or the needs of married couples in the Church and society.
We extend a special invitation to couples to agree to this time of reflection and renewal. Put aside some time each week and begin or end this with Couple Prayer. Make a decision to trust each other and be open in sharing honestly, accepting each other as different and unique, with the positive and negative feelings experienced as a normal part of who we are.
The invitation is extended to others, individuals or groups to support couples in living out their special Sacrament for the benefit of us all.

WEEK 1. (21st Sunday of the Year B )
Theme: Husband and Wife are like Jesus and the Church.
THE WORD OF GOD. Eph 5:21-32, John 6:60-69
REFLECTION:In the last century much has changed in the roles of men and women, within their marriage and in all aspects of life. Women’s liberation has given women far greater freedom, but has also had a great impact on the men. There are probably no right or wrong arrangements and each couple has to resolve this balance for themselves. Who is the boss in your home? How comfortable are you both with the situation?
The Ephesians reading is quite wellknown and quite controversial. Different translations also use different wording. When the passage starts at verse 22 with “wives submit to your husbands…” there may be a negative response but when it starts with verse 21 - as it should - ”Give way to one another in obedience to Christ…” the affect is very different. It seems to relieve some of that tension and opens us up to a deeper understanding. The model for Christian marriage is the model of the relationship between Christ and the Church, not a negative one of subjection but a positive one of total commitment and self-giving. That is the essential message that couples and also those preparing for marriage should consider when they say “I do” not just on their wedding day but in their daily lives.
Today’s gospel also highlights that marriage is not just a secular contract but a very spiritual sacramental experience.

Questions for SHARING AND ACTION - for couples, individuals or groups
What does (my) marriage in the Catholic Church really mean to me?
How can I support married couples for the good of the Church and society?
As a married couple what contribution are we making to Church life? Are we acting responsibly, to one another, our children and the community?

Conclude with a moment of prayer

SAME-SEX UNIONS
For more on the still unfolding issue of same-sex marriages in South Africa which was also addressed last month in Family Matters check out the local media and www.ChristianView.org. Updates will be posted on the website of the SA Catholic Bishops Conference www.sacbc.org.za. Cardinal Napier, also a member of the multidenominational Marriage Alliance, responded that the Catholic Church opposes the instruction by the Constitutional court to parliament to change the definition of marriage and to exclude gender. "To call same-sex unions marriage is to make a mockery of what marriage really is," he said, adding that "marriage is the exclusive and permanent union of one man with one woman". The Marriage Alliance is expected to apply for an amendment to the constitution.
A march in support of marriage is to be held in seven major South African cities on September 16, and it is hoped that Catholics will lend strong support to this.

MEN’S CONFERENCE – JOHANNESBURG 23 SEPTEMBER 2006organised by Couples for Christ. Speakers include Cardinal Napier and international guest speaker Mr Harold Burke-Sivers who will speak specifically about Fatherhood. For more information about other events and to book contact Greg 011 793 2560

Passing on faith in families was the theme of the 5th World Meeting of Families. A useful tool for families is the online Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to be found at:
http://www.vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html.
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With the current strong focus on marriage herewith some links and resources.

Links to local Church sponsored programmes can be found on the MARFAM website. Apart from FAMSA little is advertised within South Africa. The National Social Development Department has “strengthening family relationships” including marriage preparation and enrichment contained in its plan of action. See http://www.welfare.gov.za/documents/famplan.doc.

www.smartmarriages.com has a list of a range of organizations and programmes available for marriage preparation and enrichment. Some examples of the most recent:
No 1. "The First Dance" Workshop and video: The Family Dynamics of Wedding Planning
Wedding planning may be one of the most complex logistical and interpersonal activities in your life and possible the most stressful
The First Dance video with facilitated discussion covers
So many decisions, so many people.
Whose wedding is it anyway? It¹s our wedding, so we¹ll do it our ways
It¹s our wedding and you¹re an important part of it, so let¹s figure it out together.
Dealing with differences with your families without going crazy!
Negotiating differences with your parents.
Negotiating differences across families. Clash of wedding traditions!
Created by William Doherty, PhD, a nationally respected leader in marriage education and marriage/family therapy, and his recently married daughter, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas.

No 2. ”How to Make Your Good Thing Better:” African American Marriage Enrichment Program. Learn tips for teaching this program that addresses the specific issues facing African American couples. Perfect for church, school, community, and private practice settings.

No 3. Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage is a two-day event that gets couples to laugh about and to make changes to, their marriage. Most marriage seminars tend to be serious, technical and emotionally taxing. The Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage seminar is very different because it helps couples by dealing with tough issues in a way that is fun and non-threatening.

No 4. ”What the low income couples in Joe Jones' couples' skills program in Baltimore need next is training in parenting skills. If the goal is to improve children's outcomes, in addition to couples becoming married, children's adjustment is more closely related to the quality of parenting skills than any other factor. Parenting skills such as discipline, supervision, managing problem behavior, praise, attending to prosocial behavior, point systems, etc. are not automatically learned (or taught) in couples classes. I expect that there is a reciprocal relationship between couples' success in parenting and in their marriage. Disagreeing about how to deal with their children's challenging behavior has destroyed many marriages, especially in stepfamilies.” Don Gordon, http://www.parentingwisely.com

Heartlines, is a series of TV films broadcast on national TV using relatable life situations that highlight different core values. Some are followed by panel discussions and resource books are available too. All to get the nation and its families talking. A very necessary and worthwhile initiative that will hopefully continue helping to get families talking about these values. See www.heartlines.org.za

www.catholicshop.co.za is a new on-line shopping initiative from Metanoia Ministries. Latest “Youth Café” on DVDs. “Metanoia Media is a media apostolate of evangelisation by means of audiovisual material, producing and distributing effective catechetical tools for individuals and small Christian Communities (young and old), with a particular emphasis on faith, ethics, morality, apologetics, family life and prayer.”

St Augustine College: Building Community Skills with Fresh Short Course offerings in September and October.
St Augustine College, Johannesburg will be holding eight two-day skills development courses that have practical application within the workplace and communities. Useful courses such as basic computing, communication, facilitation and presentation skills will be made available to participants. Other key skills on offer will include critical thinking, basic research skills in heritage studies and Christian Business Management. For more info contact 011 782 4616 or eb@staugustine.ac.za

Hi Toni, do you have the details for me of the number of marriages in South Africa and number of Catholic marriages. Thanks for your help. Regards Bruce. REPLY: Latest government statistics for 2002 indicated around 177000 marriages. Figures submitted for Catholic marriage in 2004 were 5289 marriages.

Dear Toni, Am a committed reader of your news letter. Through knowledge acquired from reading it, I was able to initiate a family life programme in Mombasa Archdiocese Kenya. I have now relocated to Nairobi where my family is. I wish to continue receiving the newsletter and any other materials on family. By the way , I have read a very good book on marriage "Love must be tough” by Dr James Dobson. Do you know his address and how I can contact him. I would love to have his material on parenting. Margaret Masibo. (Dr Dobson is the power behind FOCUS ON THE FAMILY a strong pro-family movement from a Presbyterian background)

Dear Toni,
I've posted a couple of copies of 'Tui Motu'', to which I subscribe, together with a free Catholic monthly paper some of which may be of interest. I would love you to be a contributor to Tui Motu - I feel your writings would enhance the magazine & give it a S.A. perspective. Get in touch with the editor… It was great to personally meet after so many years. Denise, New Zealand.

Our people came here from Ireland
And China and Zambia too
From cities like Munich and Lisbon
And London and Timbucktoo
A lot of them came here by ship
‘cause there weren’t any aeroplanes yet
or they walked a very long way.
Were they scared of the lions? You bet!

They came with a background and culture
of things that they practised at home,
of food that they liked and were used to
and blessings and songs, book and poem.
Their looks and their ways might just differ
but they’re all family people at heart
and accepting each other for just who we are
is the way to world peace. That’s the start!

Contact Marfam

Tel: +27 11 789 5449
Fax: +27 11 789 5449
Email: info@marfam.org.za
Web:
www.marfam.org.za

Contact Marfam

Tel: +27 11 789 5449
Fax: +27 11 789 5449
Email: info@marfam.org.za
Web:
www.marfam.org.za