Marfam Logo Family Matters March 2006
Family theme  
Contents
 

COMMISSIONED TO LOVE, THE MISSION OF THE CHURCH

  MARFAM NEWS
  NEWS FROM THE SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK
  OTHER LOCAL FAMILY LIFE NEWS
  SNIPPETS
  IN CONCLUSION
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  REQUEST: BEFRIEND THE FAMILY

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  COMMISSIONED TO LOVE, THE MISSION OF THE CHURCH
 

October is Mission month. In some places a collection is taken up every week, in others only on Mission Sunday. But there is more to it than giving money, much as money is needed to support the missionary work of the Church. Catholics could, or even should, spend some time dwelling on the topic of mission, discussing it with our children and youth and relating it to our own life situations too.
In the last half century it seems to me that the missionary picture and vision of the church has changed quite dramatically, When our generation were children we supported the Holy Childhood Society and we were all still more conscious of missionaries as men and women from far-away places who, called by God and filled with zeal, came to bring the Word of God to pagans or heathens. They were hardy characters who came mainly from European countries and built churches, schools, skills centres and hospitals. We, whites in South Africa, were beneficiaries too but in a different way. For us there was no real culture shock: missionaries were really more like us in their culture. For indigenous peoples all over the world missionaries brought Jesus Christ, and Mary too, but often in Western dress. They inadvertently also brought a kind of colonizing spirit, something that is being challenged in today’s church. Today we Catholics are more conscious of the need to “own” our faith, personally and culturally. But in addition the trend in church work has moved towards development, justice and peace work and, in response to the glaring need, AIDS care. Ironically evangelizing people appears to have become the work of evangelical Protestant groups and mass crusades. All these are interesting and challenging trends in a world that is on the one hand increasingly secularized and on another becoming strongly fundamentalist.
The essence of Pope Benedict’s message for Mission Sunday is much the same as the message in his first encyclical Deus Caritas Est where it is spelt out more fully in its two parts. Part one concerns God’s love which also lives deep within us and in part two, this love as the foundation for charitable work. It is God’s love which creates and sustains the world. This love was the power and the reason for creating human beings, who in turn are commissioned to love God and one another and in a special way as man and woman in the intimate relationship of marriage. Pope Benedict in his Mission Sunday message reminds us that our first parents failed to live up to the relationship of trust with God, and giving in to temptation they preferred themselves to divine love freely given, convinced that in this way they were asserting their own free will. They ended up by losing their original happiness and tasted the bitter sorrow of sin and death. However God did not abandon them. Jesus, the Son of God revealed again the total, life-giving, saving love of God, God’s Spirit which is given to us in the sacraments. If this love is not at the heart of our charitable work it becomes mere philanthropy.
It is not wrong to say, charity begins at home. This month on 8th October and the 27th Sunday of the year, the readings of the day are about marriage and a wonderful opportunity to celebrate this foundation sacrament of the little church of the home.
Charity begins at home but it should not stay there. Enriched marriages are a sign of God’s presence to the couples themselves. They are a sign too to their families, the Church and the world. The love generated in marriage can, literally and figuratively, generate and enrich a power for good in a globalised society that is highly secularized, cynical and careless of the spiritual nature of the human experience of God’s love. I was touched to be invited to be Confirmation sponsor to Frances, a young girl, part of a group of 100 or so in one of the biggest confirmation groups in the diocese. This message of God’s love distinctly at the heart of the mission of the Church is my message to them too. I was affirmed in this by the bishop who during the service asked the sponsors to give our confirmandi a copy of DEUS CARITAS EST
As in earlier missionary times the work in the vineyard of the Lord remains great but are the labourers few? There is much to be done in this mission of marriage at the heart of the Church, but we are all its missionaries, commissioned through our Baptism, strengthened through our Confirmation and the other sacraments, and beginning in our own homes. And isn’t that literally putting our money where our mouth is? Which reminds us of course that there are very many other hungry mouths to feed, out of love, with love.
Toni Rowland

PS I heard an American say, “We are a missionary parish, we have a priest from Africa.” Would that be a new way of being a missionary Church?

   
  MARFAM NEWS
  Visit the website www.marfam.org.za for more info on the following.
It has been a busy month, but then it usually is in our small organization. The No 4 issue of Marriage and Family Living magazine is now available and focuses once again on marriage in line with the themes of the next three months. The Pastoral Letter of the SA Bishops on Marriage and Family Life is included in the magazine and is also published on the website.
The October theme is Marriage and the Mission of the Church. The November theme of Loss is addressed in two ways, providing some insights into death and divorce.
Other relevant publications about marriage for the marriage awareness campaign are Marriage and the Paschal Mystery, Becoming Married, One Faith-Two Religions. Details on the website.
Looking ahead the 2007 calendar produced for the Family Life Desk of the SACBC is now available. The theme is CHILDREN – GIVE THEM LOVE. For prices visit the website.
   
  NEWS FROM THE SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK
  PASTORAL LETTER OF BISHOPS OF SOUTHERN AFRICA ON MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE. The letter can be downloaded from www.sacbc.org.za and www.marfam.org.za
In the letter the bishops refer to the African Synod and its image of CHURCH AS FAMILY and to recent church documents on the love of God and the value of marriage. The letter discusses what a family is and its place and tasks in the church. Noted are some of the problems with regard to marriage and family and ways in which the Church can and does respond through the Family Life Desk and diocesan and parish structures. Important is the fact that strong committed families, evangelized and evangelizing families, are themselves a primary resource.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY, A TOWER OF STRENGTH
MARRIAGE DAY
on 8th October – 27th Sunday of the year is almost upon us. The day was chosen by the Family Life Desk and approved by the bishops of southern Africa as the highlight of a time of awarenessraising about the Sacrament of Marriage, which is above all a commission to love in a unique way. Parishes especially have been invited to celebrate with their couples and the whole community on that day. A Pastoral Letter on Marriage and Family Life from the SA Bishops has been presented to the local Church to coincide with this time. Parishes are encouraged to read it out, groups and families to study it and discuss the reflection questions posed at the end. It is being published on the SA Catholic Bishops website www.sacbc.org.za (link to Department for Evangelisation, Family Life Desk) and also on www.marfam.org.za where there are also other resource materials and suggestions.

 
 
OCTOBER – MARRIAGE AND THE MISSION OF THE CHURCH
NOVEMBER – MARRIAGE AND LOSS
DECEMBER – MARRIAGE AS GIFT
October. Marriage and the Mission of the Church


October 8th, Marriage Sunday on the 27th Sunday of the Year should be the highlight of the marriage awareness programme of the year. A period of preparation, reconciliation for couples, renewal of vows and a special blessing on all marriages, including those living apart, could be part of this. Vatican Council II document Gaudium et Spes calls marriage the way of holiness for couples, a fulfilment of their baptismal vocation. This is again repeated in Ecclesia in Africa the African Synod document of 1994. Not all adults choose marriage or remain married. However marriage is a natural way of being for adult Christians and can be called a foundation sacrament of the Church. It should be celebrated and supported as such by the whole community.
Pray for all married couples that they may grow in understanding and joy in their vocation.
Pray for healing for those who have experienced pain and misery in their marriages.
Pray for those preparing for marriage now and for the future of marriage, that our children will still experience this sign of God’s love in the world.
Pray for growth in understanding and acceptance of marriage as one of the foundation sacraments of the Church.

  NEW NEW NEW NEWS!
Calendars come out earlier and earlier as we know. The 2007 theme of the Family Life Desk is CHILDREN – GIVE THEM LOVE. This will be developed over the months of the year with relevant subthemes and suggested focuses for family life education and celebration. The A2 poster calendar for 2007 is now available. For more on this see the website www.marfam.org.za
   
  OTHER LOCAL FAMILY LIFE NEWS
 

MORE ON MARRIAGE
Local marriage movements continue to run their programmes. Marriage Encounter and Teams of Our Lady/Equipes de Nossa Senhora have programmes running in Johannesburg during this month. A cry from the heart heard especially from Marriage Encounter and Catholic Engaged Encounter is the need for priests to be involved in these ministries. ME’s vision statement describes the movement as a renewal of the Sacraments of Matrimony and Holy Orders and yet very few priests are in this mutually beneficial ministry. Surely that must be a response to the concern expressed in the bishops’ pastoral letter. It also echoes the words of Pope Benedict in response to a number of questions posed to him by priests and reported in www.zenit.org
on 28th September, “Pope's Response to Priests on the Family, ‘We (priests) Can Learn From Married People Because of Their Suffering." The article does not focus only suffering of course. It refers especially to the joy of commitment of couples of have experienced and worked through their sufferings and difficulties.

We have heard of a number of different initiatives for building and strengthening marriage around South Africa. Some dioceses and parishes have been running retreats or marriage enrichment days, some are preparing for Marriage Day on 8th October week by week inviting couples to witness from their own life-experience. I have just heard of a parish that is taking the cultural situation of its deep rural parish into consideration and while there are only a few married couples, hundreds of women and very few men they will still be celebrating as best they can.

EVENING FOR THE ENGAGED Johannesburg is planning to offer a training weekend for future presenters for this popular and well-regarded programme. Contact Carla Ernst at tel 011 483 3177 or email Carla@feltra.com for more info.

Research, discussion and articles around marriage happen mainly it seems overseas. www.marriagedebate.com addresses research on same sex marriages, the rights of adults and the needs of children to identify with their biological parents. Local research into local needs is an urgent need too.

SAME-SEX UNIONS
The issue of legislation around civil unions and same-sex unions is still unfolding as was reported last month. Cardinal Napier will be making a presentation to Parliament reaffirming the Church’s teaching that “marriage is the exclusive and permanent union of one man with one woman.” He is also a member of the interdenominational Marriage Alliance which is lobbying for an amendment to the Constitution.
Marches organized by church groups were held during September and consultations are being held by Government in various centres where the people can make their own representations too.
Updates will be posted on the website of the SA Catholic Bishops Conference www.sacbc.org.za.

MEN’S MINISTRY AND VISIT BY DEACON HAROLD BURKE-SIVERS. Deacon Harold who is well-known from EWTN has spent two very successful weeks in South Africa, as presenter at the Men’s Conference in Johannesburg and men’s missions and talks elsewhere. He was hosted by Couples for Christ and has given a number of highly successful talks affirming God’s plan for marriage and family life and particularly the important role of fathers. See www.catholicportal.co.za to obtain copies of various presentations.
The area of men’s spirituality and fatherhood as an aspect of family ministry is certainly something that needs to be developed further. Maybe there are programmes and groups operating in places near and far. Why not write and tell us about them.

SA SOCIAL WELFARE REFERENCE GROUP FOR FAMILIES AND NATIONAL FAMILY POLICY
The FL Desk’s involvement with this reference group continues. This is a valuable place for networking with government and also with NGOs and other churches and faith-based organizations on the subject of family life.
Government does profess a commitment to strengthening family relationships although this is at times challenged by the actions of those in positions of influence that are looked upon as role models. This is of course a reality in all walks of life.
In time it is hoped that funding and grants will be allocated for marriage and family enrichment programmes such as the many programmes described and promoted through www.smartmarriages.com. Maybe a Community Marriage Policy similar to the US will even become a reality.

HEARTLINES a “National Conversation” about values and raising the moral standards of our society is to continue beyond the series of very meaningful films and discussion materials produced and aired on national television. The weekly films each explored a particular core societal value. Supported by the national broadcaster, print media and business it will hopefully become a truly national and all-embracing initiative. The involvement of different churches in this highly valued. Visit www.heartlines.org.za


   
  SNIPPETS
 

Did you know that CatholicPortal brings you the largest graphic directory of made-in-South-Africa-Catholic-websites, and what makes it really appealing is that it's designed to act as a homepage for SA Catholics. Visit www.catholicportal.co.za which incorporates www.catholicshop.co.za and has links such as “pray as you go,” Virtual Rosary as well as weather and other local information.

Zenit on 24th September reported on Benedict XVI on Integrated Pastoral Care.”
Integrated pastoral care includes different components such as evangelization and marriage care, and it also includes the different agents to provide these different services. The Parish Priest Cannot Do It All! He Cannot Be a 'Soloist." But laity as peer ministers need to be empowered and inspired to play their part.

Zenit also informs that the English language translation of the Commentary on Annulment Process Is Due Out in October. This is for priests and those involved in Marriage Tribunals. Lay people most often do not know enough or understand the process. An article in the current issue of Marriage and Family Living presents basic information on divorce and annulment.

Radio Veritas continues to be the only Catholic broadcaster in SA and brings listeners “THE GOOD NEWS FOR A CHANGE” on DSTV channel 71 and www.radioveritas.co.za as well as from 11 – 1 on Radio 2000 on Sundays.
The programme FAMILY MATTERS is hosted by me and aired on Wednesdays from 10-11am and rebroadcast on Saturday 11-12am. Interaction with listeners on family topics would be highly appreciated. Call Radio Veritas on 011 663 4700.

   
  IN CONCLUSION
 

PRAISE GOD IT’S MONDAY - “A weekly WWW (world-wide word) of Encouragement to those in ministry from 3000 denominations in 70 countries” of Walking with Jesus Ministries in New Zealand.. The current issue contains the following tow items, the first of which seems particularly relatable in our soccer-oriented culture.
“PASTORS AND LEADERS – STARS, SUPERSTARS OR COACHES?” It seems most pastors fall in the category “star”, some are “super-star” but the most appropriate category would be “coach” To read more visit www.wwj.org.nz for info and to subscribe.
LAUGHING AT OURSELVES
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused*** *** "Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others." ***
536. THE CUR-ATE
A Curate was visiting his local medical centre when a nun came rushing out, screaming. When he went in to see his doctor, he asked, "As I was coming in I met a nun running away in great distress. Is she alright?"
"Oh, yes," smiled the doctor, "I've just told her that she's pregnant."
"And is she?"
"No," replied the doctor, "but it's cured her hiccups."

And to end a more whimsical piece of humour with acknowledgement to Bosco Link.
There was a blind girl who used to hate everyone except her boyfriend.
She used to say to him: “I would marry you if I could see you!!
One day someone donated to her his own pair of eyes. Then when she saw her boyfriend, she was astonished to discover that her boyfriend was also blind.
Her boyfriend asked: “Will you marry me now?” But she refused.
As she walked away he called out after her: “Please take good care of my eyes at least!”

   
 
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