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Right up our alley?

I have just dipped into Pope Benedict XVI’s first encyclical Deus Caritas Est. Different parts of it will clearly speak more powerfully to different people but my first reaction was joy. Yes, this thinking on the concepts love and marriage are right up my alley. His discussion of eros and agape in particular. Some while ago I was given an assignment to do on the four loves as described by CS Lewis, storge,  philia, eros and agape in my own marriage relationship. I was able to find examples of each, of affection or devotion, friendship, erotic physical passion and charity, care and God-love in us. That doesn’t mean to say there were no rocks strewn in the path but there were also mountains and valleys and rivers and birds. I was able to reflect how each of the loves enriched our relationship over the years and even though I am now widowed this is still a spirituality that speaks to me. Pope Benedict is saying to me that in essence marriage can be seen as a basket of loves, a model, an example and image of both God’s love and human love, enriching lovers and inviting them to reach out beyond themselves. That is good news surely for us in 2006 and is the basis of the theme chosen to promote marriage, MARRIAGE AND FAMILY, A TOWER OF STRENGTH.  January’s  immediate focus was on marriage preparation something we all do, directly or indirectly by example. Might we already be beginning to get a little lost in the woods? In February the focus is on marriage enrichment – growing strong. That is where I fear we are in danger of going down cul de sacs or one way streets, or getting lost in the mist or snow. How strongly is the way of marriage enrichment being promoted in the Church? Are the benefits of this route clearly pointed out?  Are couples searching for the way or complacently sitting at home, being arm-chair travelers, watching Oprah on TV? Are they afraid to venture out? Or can they afford it?  And then are the Church and the world not traveling down the road of pure economics rather than relationships?

You will notice the travel metaphor of course. Valencia in Spain is the destination where much by way of marriage and family enrichment is likely to happen in July of this year. One and a half million people from all over the world are expected to attend the 5th World Meeting of Families on 8-9th July and many will participate too in the Family Congress from 4-7th July.

Listening to the secular media here is SA makes one think that the country is on a massive upward spiral. That is on the economic level. However, at recent discussions with church leaders it emerged clearly that marriage and family life is a serious concern. From the perspective of church attendance people might be disinterested, disillusioned, lazy or complacent but they are nevertheless looking for experiences of God in their lives. In spite of a greater emphasis on youth and catechetics in the local church in general, it is my contention that family life and marriage enrichment in particular should be leaders on the way of evangelization. That is what a deepening understanding of African spirituality and development of the concept CHURCH AS FAMILY of the 1994 African Synod appears to indicate.  

So I shall be traveling to Spain, and the World Meeting of Families, but not alone. I hope that, as the youth were enthused to attend World Youth Day, so couples and families will find this other journey right up their alley, and within their means. A journey of a lifetime I am sure. 

Toni Rowland

This is the big news for the moment. Sadly only a few local people will be able to attend, but like the soccer or rugby world cup you don’t have to be there to be part of it.  Visit the website even as an armchair tourist at http://www.wmf2006.org/en  There are details of the programme and the place. There are specially prepared catechetical resources and anyone and everyone is invited to join in the prayer for the success of the meeting and for the renewal of family life.

Should you be thinking of going and want to make contact with others feel free to use our address, info@marfam.org.za. I have registered as a local promoter on behalf of the Family Life Desk of the SACBC.
(Apparently individuals need to register through a promoter, local or national)  Should anyone be interested in studying all the masses of available information and acting as information officer for us I would be most grateful.  I feel quite overwhelmed by that side of things.  

OFFICIAL NOTICE Prayer for 5th World Meeting of Families - www.zenit.org
The World Meeting of Families is a convocation called every three years by the Pope to celebrate the divine gift of the family. The Pontifical Council for the Family organizes the event in collaboration with the host diocese. This year’s event, from July 1-9 in Valencia, is expected to draw 1.5 million people.  Benedict XVI will preside over the main celebrations.

Prayer for the 5th World Meeting of Families
Valencia, July 2006

O God, who in the Holy Family left us a perfect model of family life lived in faith and obedience to your will.

We thank you for our family. Give us the strength to remain united in love, generosity and the joy of living together.

We pray, Lord, that this time of preparation for the World Meeting of Families may be a time of intense experience of faith and growth in our families.

Help us in our mission of transmitting the faith that we received from our parents. Open the hearts of our children so that the seed of faith, which they received in baptism, will grow in them.

Strengthen the faith of our young people, so they might grow in knowledge of Jesus.

Increase love and faithfulness in all marriages, especially those going through times of suffering or difficulty.

Shed your grace and blessing on all families worldwide, especially those that are preparing for the World Meeting of Families in Valencia. Bless, also, our Pope Benedict. Give him wisdom and strength, and grant us the joy of being able to welcome him in Valencia together with families from all over the world.

United to Joseph and Mary, we ask this through Jesus Christ your Son, Our Lord. Amen.

2006 MARRIAGE AWARENESS PROJECT “MARRIAGE AND FAMILY A TOWER OF STRENGTH.  See the special section on the website www.marfam.org.za and download the various suggestion and liturgy leaflets.  We include here the suggestions for February on MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT.

ST AUGUSTINE COLLEGE, JOHANNESBURG and the FAMILY LIFE DESK of the SA CATHOLIC BISHOPS CONFERENCE present

DR JOSEPH GILLESPIE OP, Pastoral Theologian, Lecturer, Therapist and Author in the field of Marriage and Family Studies will give the following at ST AUGUSTINE COLLEGE, 26 Road No 3, Victory Park Johannesburg

PUBLIC LECTURE

Chemical Dependency: Pastoral Approaches to understanding the Impact of Addiction on Marital, Family and Work systems.  Thursday FEBRUARY 23RD 19h00 – 20h30 Cost : R20

SEMINAR FOR PRIESTS AND MINISTERS, PASTORAL WORKERS, PROFESSIONALS

Pastoral Counselling: Historical and  Current Guidelines for Pastors. 

Friday, FEBRUARY 24TH, 13h30 – 17h00, Cost : R25

DAY OF ENRICHMENT FOR COUPLES

Being Close, Being different: Exploring Sexuality and Intimacy

Saturday, FEBRUARY 25TH, 9h00 – 15h00pm, Cost: R60 per couple (R30 per person)  

Enquiries:-
Helen at 011 782-4616  email: helen@staugustine.ac.za    
Toni  at  011 789 5449  email:  toni@marfam.org.za     
RSVP:  before 15th February

Pope Benedict XVI  encyclical DEUS CARITAS EST (God is Love) can be downloaded by connecting to www.zenit.org.

MOVEMENT OF CONTINUOUS PRAYER FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE.  Anyone, from bishops to the smallest person in the pew can pray for this valuable cause. Ideally pray at home, in families,  for one hour on a regular day of the month, so setting up a prayer chail.  Contact us for more info and an optional accompanying  booklet.  

As coordinator of the Family Life Desk I am available to visit dioceses, deaneries or parishes to run workshops on Family Ministry in the Parish or give talks, seminars, retreats or enrichment experiences. During 2006 these will focus mainly around marriage and related subjects.

RADIO VERITAS (South Africa) “The Station that brings you the Good News for a Change”, is broadcasting 24 hours a day on DSTV channel 71 and you can also listen on the web.  Visit www.radioveritas.co.za.  FAMILY MATTERS is a programme about the Good News of  family life. Sundays from 11-12 – just before midday holy hour.    

(GAUTENG NEWS.  Retrouvaille weekend 3-5 February.  Marriage Encounter weekends Lydenburg 3-5 February.  La Verna 3-5 March. See website for contact details.  )

MARFAM produces most of the resource material used by the Family Life Desk. This includes the quarterly magazine, Lent-Easter booklet, e-newsletter and the calendar.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING magazine No 1 for 2006 is available. Articles cover the themes for the months Jan-March. Marriage preparation, Marriage enrichment, Rights and Responsibilities in marriage.   Cost R7.50.  

2006 FAMILY LIFE CALENDARS still available  special bulk price 40 for R100,00 plus postage.  

MARRIAGE AND THE PASCHAL MYSTERY – MAKING NOT BREAKING THE LINK is the title of the booklet  for reflection and sharing being prepared for use during the Lent and Easter seasons or at any other time. It is a faithsharing as well as catechetical programme for anyone and everyone, but obviously especially for couples. Cost R8.  

See Marfam website for order and subscription information for these and other publications

Marriage enrichment, the February theme, is provided by a number of different organizations. Marriage Encounter, Teams of Our Lady (Equipes de Nossa Senhora) Couples for Christ, Alpha and FAMSA and other counseling sources.  Hurting marriages contact Retrouvaille.  For details of these and other local family life movements see website. 

You are invited to  Human Life International's  Conference on Love, Life and the Family

A unique and powerful opportunity to become an effective defender of unborn children and their parents and a proclaimer of Christ’s “Gospel of Life” in a culture of death.   A conference for “all persons

of goodwill devoted to the cause of life in South Africa.  That includes, religious, clergy, youth leaders, students, professionals such as doctors, nurses, social workers,

Human Life International   P.O.Box 404   MILNERTON   7435

Tel.: 021 552-3850 or 082 255-0473   Fax: 021 551-6748   e-mail: humanlife.int@iafrica.com   web: www.hli.co.za

CATHOLIC EDUCATORS NEWS.  Parents as first educators may want to get some help from this site,   http://www.silk.net/RelEd/cslewis.htm  where for example you can read God Loves You, discovering Jesus in the Chronicles of Narnia, a very relevant topic at present.  

Another educators’ website is http://www.catholiceducation.org/

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Catholic Friends www.catholicfriends.co.za is a South African dating site for Catholics. As they say,”Each person should go into a relationship with the idea of family and faith.  Our Holy family reminds us of who we can be and is the perfect example of what God expects from us.” Check it out.

CHRISTIAN VIEW http://www.christianview.org/   

Dear friends (mainly in South Africa)
Please help us collect email addresses of people wanting Christian email news
You probably joined this email list because the newspapers and television don't give news from a Christian perspective and on issues that are of  concern to us.  Those who receive ChristianView Network emails often do more than read email.  They are often influencers in their community, for example by writing letters to the newspaper and discussing at church home group.  By helping sign up more people, you will be helping to spread salt and light in society.    Email back to us at  mail@christianview.org.   Thank you  Philip Rosenthal

Also from Christian View 23 January 2006
Reminder: Sanctity of Life Sunday: Sunday near 1 February
Every year since the legalisation of abortion on demand in South Africa on 1 February 1997, churches around the country have observed the nearest Sunday to this date as Sanctity of Life Sunday.    Preach, pray and reflect on this great evil in our society.

“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short”    "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jostled by every pebble on the road." Henry Ward Beecher"If only we wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is difficult, since we think them happier than they are." Monesquieu    *Take time every day to do something silly." Philips Walker   " The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed"
http://www.deepfun.com/quotes.html

But I couldn’t resist just one joke indicating the need for urgent marriage enrichment, or should preparation have been more thorough?

The Honeymoon Is Over

As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother who lived a couple of hours away.

"How did everything go?" her mom asked.

"Oh, mother," she began, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible language. Stuff I'd never heard before. Really terrible four-letter words. You've got to come get me and take me home. Please, Mother!" the new bride sobbed over the telephone.

"But, honey," the mother countered, "What four-letter words?"

"I can't tell you, mother, they're too awful! Come get me, please!"

"Darling, you must tell me what has gotten you so upset.... Tell mother what four-letter words he used."

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Words like dust, wash, iron, cook."