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| Contents | ||
HOLA, TORRE DE BABEL! |
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| MARFAM NEWS | ||
| SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS including: Pope Benedict XVI message to families Marriage and Family, A Tower of Strength campaign Same-sex Marriage in South Africa |
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| CORRESPONDENCE | ||
| IN CONCLUSION | ||
| click here to visit our website for a printable version | ||
| REQUEST: BEFRIEND THE FAMILY
MARFAM has been promoting the cause of family life for more than 10 years. Your financial support helps us to operate, produce the publications, including this monthly enewsletter and maintain our website. Advertise your company or project on the website, enewsletter or various publications or send a donation to P.O. Box 2881, Randburg 2125. South Africa. Every Rand, Dollar or Euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow. A special request for financial support for the 2006 Marriage promotion project. Do you believe in marriage and that it needs all the support it can get? What about yours? Send us a cheque or make a small monthly donation into our bank account. Contact us for details. |
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| Hola, Torre de Babel! | ||
| That is just me, practicing some Spanish that I needed to pick up while in Spain during that extremely hot month of July. It is not necessary to use the google translation tool to work out that it means, “Hello, tower of Babel”. Of course quite often we were able somehow to make ourselves understood at the Fifth World Meeting of Families in Valencia and onwards from there on our travels, including a 100 kilometre pilgrim walk on the Camino to Santiago de Compostela. However, apart from missing much of what was going on at times, the language difficulties were sufficiently debilitating to make meaningful conversation and sharing almost impossible a lot of the time and this was quite a big disappointment. One cannot but agree that there was a wonderful turnout at the Congress which was attended by over 8000 delegates and the Meeting and Eucharist with the Holy Father, attended by many hundreds of thousands. There was also a wonderful spirit of solidarity amongst the delegates, or pilgrims as we were labeled. These were very affirming. There were many valuable presentations given by eminent speakers on subjects related to family life. Topics addressed included family and economics, ecumenism, the law, bioethics and demographics. The separate congresses for grandparents and youth were also well attended and all the congresses broadly addressed the same overall theme, “The transmission of faith in the family.” But that was mainly the theory. The difficult part is taking the message home and integrating it into our pastoral work and sharing it with the families to whom we minister across the world. This is particularly so if one focuses on the issues facing families in various parts of the world. Issues of Europe, e.g. decreasing and ageing populations and materialism are not the primary issues in Africa where poverty and HIV/AIDS grab the limelight. But the meeting chose not to focus on issues as such, on same-sex unions, or condom use or abortion. The Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI himself chose to concentrate on the importance of strong and healthy marriages and families, who demonstrate that God is Love, families who can and should remain the foundation of society and the Church. Yes, recent world events since the meeting in Valencia show how seriously the world is divided; how real the Tower of Babel still is. But in spite of the communication difficulties with the languages I believe that many amongst those who visited Spain did become “family” in the same kind of way that the image of Church chosen as appropriate for Africa, “Church as Family,” should be. We were able to adopt and experience some of the unique qualities that make families different from other groupings. Our delegation certainly experienced great warmth and hospitality extended by our Catholic Engaged Encounter hosts. Other family qualities are a recognition and acceptance of differences yet combined with a deep sense of belonging. But one dare not sentimentalise the concept of family. In the process of development sibling rivalry and increasingly competition between men and women are real. Conflict happens and domestic violence is a sad reality. However forgiveness and reconciliation too are family qualities in striving for growth and unity. Family members don’t always understand what we are saying to one another but through the grace of God there is a particular kind of bond, of acceptance of one another’s weird and wonderful ways. What Noel Coward wrote about colonials in the East could equally well have applied to us peregrinos in Spain. Only “Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.” Try translating that into Spanish! Toni Rowland |
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| MARFAM NEWS | ||
| I was away for most of the month but managed to get nearly all the No 3 issue of Marriage and Family Living out before leaving. Apologies to anyone who had difficulty communicating with our office. Current publications are listed on the website www.marfam.org.za Of particular relevance at this time MARRIAGE AND THE PASCHAL MYSTERY, BECOMING MARRIED, ONE FAITH – TWO RELIGIONS, AIDS STRIKES AT THE HEART. |
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| SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS | ||
| WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES “Transmitting faith in the family” For me the main events of the month were the various aspects of my trip to Spain. I believe that the overall message from the meeting of families was encapsulated well in this, one of the two addresses delivered by His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI to the assembled crowds. ADDRESS BY HIS HOLINESS POPE BENEDICT XVI TO FAMILIES, VALENCIA, SPAIN 8 JULY 2006 “Dear brothers and sisters, I am most happy to take part in this prayer meeting which is meant to celebrate with great joy God’s gift of the family. I feel very close in prayer to all those who have recently experienced this city’s mourning and in our hope in the risen Christ, which provides light and strength at times of immense human tragedy. (A reference to the metrotrain crash in the city in which 42 people were killed.) United by the same faith in Christ, we have gathered here from so many parts of the world as a community, which with gratitude and joy bears witness that human beings were created in the image and likeness of God for love, an that complete human fulfillment only comes about when we make a sincere gift of ourselves to others. The family is the privileged setting where every person learns to give and receive love. That is why the church constantly wishes to demonstrate her pastoral concern for this reality, so basic for the human person. This is what she teacher in her Magisterium:” God who is love and who created man and woman for love, has called them to love. By creating man and woman he called them to an intimate communion of life and love in marriage. ‘So they are no longer two but one flesh.’ (Mt 196” (Catechism of the Catholic Church. Compendium, 337) This is the truth that the Church tirelessly proclaims to the world. My beloved predecessor Pope John Paul II said that “man has been made ‘in the image and likeness of God, not only by his being human, but also by the communion of the persons that man and woman have formed since the beginning. They become the image of God, not so much in their alones as in their communion.” (Catechesis, 14 November 1979). The family is an intermediate institution between individuals and society, and nothing can completely take its place. The family is itself based primarily on a deep interpersonal relationship between husband and wife, sustained by affected and mutual understanding. To enable this, it receives abundant help from God in the sacrament of Matrimony, which brings with it a true vocation to holiness. Would that our children might experience more the harmony and affection between their parents, rather than disagreements and discord, since the love between father and mother is a source of great security for children and it teaches them the beauty of a faithful and lasting love. The family is a necessary good for peoples, an indispensable foundation for society and a great and lifelong treasure for couples. It is a unique good for children, who are meant to be the fruit of the love, of the total and generous self-giving of their parents. To proclaim the whole truth about the family, based on marriage as a domestic Church and a sanctuary of life, is a great responsibility incumbent upon all. Father and mother have said a complete “yes” in the sight of God, which constitutes the basis of the sacrament which joins them together. Likewise for the inner relationship of the family to be complete, they also need to say a “yes” of acceptance to the children whom they have given birth to or adopted, and each of which has his or her own personality or character. In this way children will grow up in a climate of acceptance and love, and upon reaching sufficient maturity, will then want to say “yes” in turn to those who gave them life. The challenges of present-day society, marked by the centrifugal forces generated especially in urban settings, make it necessary to ensure that families do not feel alone. A small family can encounter difficult obstacles when it is isolated from relatives and friends. The ecclesial community therefore has the responsibility of offering support, encouragement and spiritual nourishment which can strengthen the cohesiveness of the family, especially in times of trial or difficulty. Here parishes have an important role to play, as do the various ecclesial associations, called to cooperate as networks of support and a helping hand for the growth of families in faith. Christ has shown us what is always to be the supreme source of our life an thus of the lives of families:” this is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life one’s friends.” (Jn 15: 12-13) The love of God himself has been poured out upon us in Baptism. Consequently families are called to experience this same kind of love, for the Lord makes it possible for us, through our human love, to be sensitive, loving and merciful like Christ. Together with passing on the faith and the love of God, one of the greatest responsibilities of families is that of training free and responsible persons. For this reason the parents need gradually to give their children greater freedom, while remaining for some time the guardians of that freedom. If children see that their parents – and more generally all the adults around them – live life with joy and enthusiasm, despite all difficulties, they will themselves develop that profound “joy of life” which can help them to overcome wisely the inevitable obstacles and problems which are part of life. Furthermore when families are not closed in on themselves, children come to learn that every person is worthy of love, and that there is a basic, universal brotherhood which embraces every human being. This Fifth World meeting invites us to reflect on a theme of particular importance, one fraught with great responsibility: the transmission of faith in the family. This theme is nicely expressed in the Catechism of the Catholic Church: As a mother who teaches her children to speak and so to understand and communicate, the Church, our Mother teaches us the language of faith in order to introduce us to the understanding a d the life of faith.” (No 171) This is symbolically in the liturgy of Baptism: with the handing over of the lighted candle the parents are made part of the mystery of new life as children of God given to their sons and daughters in the waters of baptism. To hand down the faith to children, with the help of individuals and institutions, like the parish, the school or Catholic associations, is a responsibility which parents cannot overlook, neglect or completely delegate to others. “The Christian family is called the domestic church because the family manifests and lives out the communal and familiar nature of the church as the family of God. Each family member, in accord with his or her own role, exercises the baptismal priesthood and contributes towards the family a community of grace and of prayer, a school of human and Christian virtues, and the place where the faith is first proclaimed to children.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 350) And what is more: ”Parents in virtue of their participation in the fatherhood of God, have the first responsibility for the education of their children and they are the first heralds of the faith for them. They have the duty to love and respect their children as persons and as children of God. (ibid 460) The language of faith is learned in homes where this faith grows and is strengthened through prayer and Christian practice. In the reading from Deuteronomy we have heard the prayer constantly repeated by the Chosen People, the “Shema Israel” which Jesus himself would have heard and recited in his home in Nazareth. He himself would refer to it during his public life (Mk 12:29) This is the faith of the Church, which is born of God’s love which comes through your families. To live the fullness of this faith in all its wondrous newness is a great gift. All the same, at those times when God’s face seems to be hidden, believing can be difficult and takes great effort. This meeting provides a new impetus for proclaiming the Gospel of the family, reaffirming the strength and identity of the family founded upon marriage and open to the generous gift of life, where children are accompanied in their bodily and spiritual growth. This is the best way to counter a widespread hedonism which reduces human relations to banality and empties them of their authentic value and beauty. To promote the values of marriage does not stand in the way of fully experiencing the happiness that man and woman encounter in their mutual love. Christian faith and ethics are not meant to stifle love, but to make it healthier, stronger and more truly free. Human love needs to be purified and to mature if it is to be fully human and the principle of a true and lasting joy. (cf Address at St John Lateran 5 June 2006) And so I invite government leaders and legislators to reflect on the evident benefits which homes in peace and harmony assure to individuals and the family, the neuralgic centre of society, as the Holy See has stated in the Charter of the Rights of the Family. The purpose of laws is the integral good of man in response to his needs and aspirations. This good is a significant help to society, of which it cannot be deprived, an for peoples a safeguard and a purification. The family is also a school which enables men and women to grow to the full measure of their humanity. The experience of being loved by their parents helps children to become aware of their dignity as children. Children need to be brought up in the faith, to be loved and protected. Along with their basic right to be born and to be raised in the faith, children also have the right to a home which takes as its model the home of Nazareth, and to be shielded from all dangers and threats. I would like to say a word to grandparents who are so important for every family. They ca be – and so often are – the guarantors of the affection and tenderness which every human being needs to give and receive. They offer little ones the perspective of time, they are memory and richness of families. In no way should they ever be excluded from the family circle. They are a treasure which the younger generation should not be denied, especially when they bear witness to their faith at the approach of death. Prayer O God, who in the Holy Family left us a perfect model of family life, lived in faith and obedience to your will, help us to be examples of faith and love for your commandments. Help us in our mission of transmitting the faith that we have received from our parents. Open the hearts of our children so that the seed of faith, which they received in Baptism will grow in them. Strengthen the faith of our young people, that they may grow in knowledge of Jesus. Increase love and faithfulness in all marriages especially those growing through times of suffering or difficulty. United to Joseph and Mary we ask this through Jesus Christ, your son, our Lord. Amen |
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| MARRIAGE AND FAMILY, A TOWER OF STRENGTH. This campaign is gathering momentum towards the celebration of MARRIAGE DAY on 8th OCTOBER the 27th Sunday of the Year. Resource packages have been sent to all parishes in South Africa as well as other movements and organizations and it is hoped that the importance of using this opportunity to focus on marriage in our families and the local Church particularly will be recognized and celebrated. The package can be requested from us by email. Parts of it will be available on the website www.marfam.org.za. Material is available too in different local languages for a period of preparation leading up to Marriage Day. This can be a time for convalidation of marriages not solemnized in a church and for reconciliation and renewal. Please contact me for more information, or to give talks or workshops or refer to other possible resources. |
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| SAME SEX MARRIAGES IN SOUTH AFRICA. In its December decision, the Constitutional Court gave Parliament a year to amend the current legislation to include same-sex unions. The Catholic Parliamentary Liaison Office has informed us that the Home Affairs Portfolio Committee will be meeting on August 1st, when they will be briefed by the Department on intended action. In addition Christian View, an interdenominational organisation reports: MARRIAGE ALLIANCE OF SA CALLS FOR CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT TO PROTECT MARRIAGE AS A HETEROSEXUAL INSTITUTION Over the past few months the Patrons (one of whom is Cardinal Napier, the President of the SACatholic Bishops Conference) and Task Team of the Marriage Alliance have received the input of senior legal advisors and constitutional law professionals. We have been advised that there is only one option, which will satisfy the demands of the Constitutional Court and at the same time secure the institution of marriage as a heterosexual institution (i.e. between a man and a woman only). We have taken their counsel and the Position Statement has been finalized accordingly. Accordingly, the Marriage Alliance of SA will ask Parliament to adopt an amendment to the Constitution that will define marriage as the voluntary union of a man and a woman. We believe that a constitutional amendment is the only way in which Parliament can effectively safeguard the institution of marriage as 'the voluntary union of a man and a woman'. In addition to this, the Marriage Alliance believes that Parliament should write a new law, separate from the Marriage Act, which will provide a statutory framework for the regulating of civil or same-sex partnerships. Over the next few weeks Marriage Alliance will endeavor to ensure that our request for a constitutional amendment is tabled in parliament and make presentations to the relevant committees and participate in the public hearings. It is important that all our partners be mobilized and help us to generate awareness and debate about the future of marriage and the family in South Africa. This can be done by mobilizing marches, signing petitions and through the media, e.g. writing letters to newspapers, Members of Parliament etc. A prayer campaign is also recommended. We should realize that if we do not take individual and collective action to ensure that government agrees to the proposed constitutional amendment, then the ruling of the Constitutional Court will take effect and marriage will lose its traditional meaning and no longer refer to the relationship between a man and a woman, but to any two people. This will take effect on 1 December 2006. Visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/christianview for full details. |
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| APPROACHES TO THE FAMILY APOSTOLATE AND FAMILY MINISTRY. One approach is through the various Family Life movements dedicated to aspects of family life. Another approach is through the parishes and the Parish Pastoral Councils which should all have a Family Life portfolio. JOHANNESBURG FAMILY MINISTRY NOTICES: Meeting of parish family representatives on 5th August to plan for Marriage campaign and explore Marriage Preparation in the parishes. Mass and meeting for Widowed People on the West Rand 27th August. MEN’S CONFERENCE – JOHANNESBURG 23 SEPTEMBER 2006 organised by Couples for Christ. Speakers include Cardinal Napier and international guest speaker Mr Harold Burke-Sivers who will speak specifically about Fatherhood. For more information about other events and to book contact Greg 011 793 2560 |
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| CORRESPONDENCE | ||
| Brother George writes, “I decided to organize a 15 km walk on Youth Day. I advertised it in churches and schools and was a bit disappointed with the turnout but happy that a family walked – a father, two sons, daughter and grandson. We had lots of chatter and fun together. In the end all were tired and happy and asked for another walk day. I will organize another walk on Women’s Day, 9 August and will advertise it as “Family talk walk” because I want families to come and walk and talk together. “The family that walks together, talks together.” I think this might be my kind of Christian family ministry in the future. Comment: Having just completed the Camino, a 100 kilometre walk over 5 days and experiencing the rigours of that, maybe the distance of 15 kilometers put some people off. But as for me, I wish I could join you! Another related family activity is letterboxing. To find out more about that visit www.letterboxing.info/ |
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| IN CONCLUSION for August, Women’s Month. | ||
| Phenomenal Lady Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed." She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, and set the table for breakfast. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washing machine, ironed a shirt and sewed on a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the supermarket. She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails. Dad called out, "I thought you were coming to bed." "I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the wash basket and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I've had it." And he went to sleep without another thought. Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...? 'cause we are made for the long haul (and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!) And having just celebrated a birthday: “We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. Never be the First to Get Old !!! |
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