GIFTS AND FRUITS from MARFAM booklet FAMILY MOMENTS AND FAITH MOMENTS

Gifts of the Spirit

Wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, fear of the Lord.

Fruits of the Spirit

Love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, self-control, humility, faithfulness.

“Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.” John 15

43. GIFTS AND FRUITS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

Every confirmed Catholic will have learned these 7 gifts and 9 fruits in catechism class maybe many years ago. Did we learn the names by rote and have we stopped to reflect on their true meaning in the mission of building the Kingdom which is ultimately the work of the Holy Spirit. As a Family Pentecost activity list them on slips of paper and allow members to randomly choose one and consider how that is manifested in their own life or in that of others.

1831 The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord. They belong in their fullness to Christ, Son of David.109 They complete and perfect the virtues of those who receive them. They make the faithful docile in readily obeying divine inspirations.(Isaiah 11: 2-5);

1832 The fruits of the Spirit are perfections that the Holy Spirit forms in us as the first fruits of eternal glory. The tradition of the Church lists twelve of them: “charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, chastity.” Galatians 5:22-23.

CCC 736 By this power of the Spirit, God’s children can bear much fruit. He who has grafted us onto the true vine will make us bear “the fruit of the Spirit: “We live by the Spirit”; the more we renounce ourselves, the more we “walk by the Spirit.”

44. WISDOM. Little Katie often sat with grandpa Joe at family outings while the other children were playing the kind of rough games she did not feel comfortable to take part in. Her illness seemed to have made her wise beyond her years. It was as if the experience of pain and not being able to do what others of her age could do had given her a wisdom beyond her years. “They look like two wise old owls “ cousin Morris said, “but they also sound wise to me the way they explain things.”

Serenity Prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

45. UNDERSTANDING “I don’t know why understanding should be called a gift from God, or a gift of the Holy Spirit as it is called, “Dominic announced in confirmation class. “Don’t you read your Bible,” Adam said. “It says in the book of Isaiah that when the people come back from the hardships they experienced their God would help them to understand why all that happened and what they could learn from their experiences.” “That’s all very well, but I wish the Spirit would help me to understand those Maths problems that Josie finds so easy. Maybe understanding is a gift after all.”

The gift of the Spirit that enlightens our minds and hearts with divine truth so that we can grasp the mysteries of the Lord. Col 1:9

46. COUNSEL. In herself Dawn had felt for a long time that she had something special to offer to people who were having problems. Some of her friends would shy away from problems but she had some special inborn skills to counsel, not just to tell them what to do but to listen full of care and help people to make good, lifegiving decisions in life. “Lord, I don’t want to be a religious sister and I do believe that I can be of help to people wherever I am.”

This gift empowers us to make decisions in the Spirit in practical situations. It helps to overcome obstacles in our spiritual life, to be more open to this gift in others and receive counsel. It is essential to effective leadership. We counsel others through God’s leading. Prov. 12:1, 13:18. Mark 13:11.

47. FORTITUDE. “Does Fortitude sound like a nice name for a girl, or even a boy for that matter?” Those kind of names were used traditionally because they said something relevant about the family at the time of the baby’s birth. Would Fortitude’s parents have had fortitude or needed it? Fortitude is also courage but a particular kind. The Mabaso family had it, dealing with the arrival and care of a handicapped child that would keep them busy for hours every day. When on top of that the grandmother became bed-ridden and Joseph lost his job people said, that family is really very brave the way they carry their burdens and are still able to smile. It gives us relentless vigor in the Lord. From Heb. 12:1-5,

48. KNOWLEDGE. “I wondered sometimes why knowledge should be a gift. Then I thought maybe the opportunity to acquire the knowledge, like from my parents, good schools and teachers has been a gift that I have received, but not everyone gets. Then again I thought well knowing that I know and what I know about so many things already makes me grateful to God for the wonders of creation, the beauty of loving relationships, the hurts when things are not as they should be and the need to spread the Good News. Thank you God.”

We should grow in the knowledge of faith and the expectations will match the truth. See Eph. 4:11-15, Col. 2:2-3.

49. PIETY. The Men’s group were discussing the gifts of the Spirit. “Piety is for women” one said, “they are the ones that go to church and have all their prayer groups.” “Devotions are to do with piety and I think they are good things like the Rosary, the Sacred Heart, Divine Mercy, devotion to your favourite saints and of course to Mary, the Mother of God.” “Well, we have St Joseph, the husband of Mary and Joseph, the Worker as models for men, husbands and fathers.” “Even foster-fathers, come to think of it. Maybe more men could think of all that.” It emphasizes the adoption status we have and the Spirit leads us to cry out “Abba Father” (Rom 8:15)

50. FEAR OF THE LORD. After Fr Vincent’s homily Mrs Jacobsen realised she had learned something new, even in her old age. She had been reading her Bible for years and knew the stories well. Moses going up the mountain and how at first he was afraid before God, then being able to see God face to face. “But”, she had thought, “the people always feared God, even in the psalms there are places when God is presented as a fearsome Lord. You had to be sure you remained on his side. Now I have learned that the feeling and attitude of wonder and awe, instead of fear, is the better way to relate to God. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Prov 1:7)

51. LOVE. When JoAnn realised things were not right in their relationship she consulted a counsellor, took courage and gently raised the matter with John. At first he denied everything but it was after the ultimatum she issued that he finally agreed they needed help. The programme addressed many issues that had built up between them; his experimenting with drugs for the kick he got, her preoccupation with the baby. It was the love they witnessed in the leading couple who shared their own painful story that gave them hope, and it was the love they knew was still present in their own lives that encouraged them to continue their healing process.

“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. John 15:9-12

52. JOY. People don’t only cry when they are sad but we don’t feel comfortable with tears of joy. Have you cried tears of joy at a new baby, pride at your child’s debut on the school stage, your son or daughter exchanging wedding vows? Reunions are very special. Watching passengers in the arrivals hall at any international airport can see the deep joy of being reunited with those we love. Was the story behind their separation financial need, political fear, separation for work, or simply a holiday? Especially poignant reunions come after a reconciliation or some serious hardship. Imagine the joy Mary Magdalene felt on that Easter morning when she recognised her Lord.

Then Anna ran up to her son, threw her arms around him, and said to him, “ Now that I have seen you again son, I am ready to die!” Tobit 11:9.

53. PEACE. The extended family hardly came together any more. They lived far apart now; the younger more successful ones in leafy suburbs while some older, poorer Mashininis still lived in far-off KZN where the ancestors were buried. With more than 25 grandchildren granny Sarah was the matriarch but the family looked up to Patrick the successful one even though some resented him. It was gentle Mary, who came to see her uncle with a proposal for a peace crèche to fight xenophobia in their area that made him stop and think. Surely peace on earth begins at home. So that Easter he was the one who brought the whole family together. “Family forever” as he said, and “Mina Nawe.”

Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God. Matthew 5: 9

54. PATIENCE. This virtue is sorely needed in any family, but only those who have experienced it can really understand the agonising patience needed to care for an old parent suffering from Alzheimers. Not only do they lose their memory, but their mind and their ability to think rationally too as they wander off into their own fantasy world. They may become abusive, clearly dishonest but cannot be blamed as they are not responsible. Younger children might laugh it off but the patience of adult children and spouses will be stretched to the limit in managing a situation that in the end will defeat them. My son, take care of your father even if his mind fails, be considerate with him, revile him not in the fullness of your strength. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering. Sirach 3: 12-15.

55. GOODNESS. Coming home from the funeral Portia felt irritated.“Why do people lie so much when in a eulogy they extol all the virtues of the deceased and we know that he was really a demanding old man. The way he treated my mother, pushing her around, if not physically at least emotionally, was awful. He exhausted us all by his constant demands. And yet he worked very hard, was honest and fair to those he worked with, a helpful friend and very generous and committed in his men’s group. Despite his weaknesses I must honestly agree, “He was a good man and do thank God for his life.”

Why do you then judge your brother? Or you why do you look down on your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgement seat of God; for it is written: “Each of us shall give an account of himself (to God). Romans 14: 10-12.

56. KINDNESS. Wired Moms and Kids. Technology plays an important role in the lives of moms and kids in a reciprocal relationship they can both enjoy. Globally, 89% of online moms say they share technology experiences with their child in some way and the most popular ways tend to be educational. Moms frequently spend time on a computer with their kids helping them with homework or looking up information. They’re also learning from one another. Nearly a quarter of moms said their children taught them things. For today’s wired children, technology is a source of happiness. Moms have a great opportunity to strategically use technology as a reward and they are more than twice as likely to treat kids with technology than with chocolate. From www.truthabout moms

Children learn to love unconditionally as they are unconditionally loved. They learn to know the face of God as they receive a first revelation of it from a father and mother full of attention in their regard. AM 42 Pope Benedict

57. SELF-CONTROL. Abel was a real brat, but maybe he just picked it up from his father. Whenever dad had too much to drink he would be pushy and fly off the handle at the least provocation. Abel was indulged by his parents until a new baby sister came along and then the family ended up in turmoil. They had to get help. The social worker quickly identified the need for better self-control and set up a system. A game that worked well was using a family buzzcall to remind one another, “I see you. Do you see me?!” It took a while but it worked.

Each one should have such forbearance towards the other, that they never grow angry, or fall into discussion and argument. God’s Holy Spirit is not at home in a household where altercation and tumult, arguing and quarrelling, disturb the peace. St Francis de Sales.

58. HUMILITY. Humility does not mean that coming from humble beginnings. It is an attitude that recognises one’s giftedness without making a person arrogant or a show-off. Morris was a top student and sportsman right through his final two years at St Enda’s high school. When he was elected as head prefect he gave credit to God’s goodness and the role his parents and teachers had played in encouraging him. He continued to be helpful to others; never a Mr Know-all but Mr Be-all for all with all.

Do not lord it over those assigned to you but be examples to the flock. God opposes the proud but bestows favour on the humble.

1 Peter 4: 5.

59. FAITHFULNESS. Faithfulness in relationships is the best way of combating HIV/AIDS infection. But faithfulness is more than not engaging in extra-marital relationships. Faithfulness is an attitude. Mary Jane was unhappy at the way her bookclub friends discussed their spouses. Surely it means being loyal in mind and heart too and not being unduly critical in front of others. It’s being like God in a way. He is faithful in spite of our weaknesses.

Who is like you, LORD God Almighty? You, LORD, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you. Ps 89:8

FAITH, FAMILY MOMENTS AND FAITH MOMENTS, MAY, MONTH FOR FAMILY AND LIFE, THEME:  PARENTING AND LIFE

Family Matters Printable Version

MARFAM – MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RENEWAL MINISTRY – NPO 103-814.

You can communicate with us through our blog www.marfam.org.za/blog or facebook page or info@marfam.org.za

CONTENTS:

Editorial : FAMILY FIRST!

MARFAM News.

Wood carving of Mary and Joseph at Our Lady Assumed into Heaven, Sasolburg.

THE YEAR OF FAITH AND THE FAMILY

SACBC Family Life Desk News and activities,

2013 Family Moments &Faith Moments: May: Parenting and Life

BITS AND BYTES:

CORRESPONDENCE:

FAMILY SPIRITUALITY for the Year of Faith,  May and June

FINALLY … on a lighter (sheepish) note.

Family First

Choosing this slogan “Family First!” by the SACBC Family Life Desk may be seen as somewhat challenging and out of line with the way we have been taught to think.  Surely it is “God first”, or “Jesus first”, or “Family Last!” as we say when food is being served at a gathering, to ensure that honoured guests will not go short.   We have been cultured to be other-centred and that is necessary and wonderful.  However there are times when that priority needs to be examined to ensure that we do not neglect important duties at home.

Many church documents remind us that the home is the first place for passing on the faith, teaching prayers, values and practising good parenting and other relationship skills.

Africae Munus the Apostolic Exhortation of the 2^nd African Synod is an important document for us as this time.   With its particular focus on reconciliation, justice and peace some extracts are noted. ”In a healthy family life we experience the fundamental elements of peace: justice and love between brothers and sisters, the role of authority expressed by parents, loving concern for the members who are weaker because of youth, sickness or old age, mutual help in the necessities of life, readiness to accept others and if necessary to forgive them.  For this  reason the family is the first and indispensable teacher of peace.” AM43.  Speaking of education it states, “In addition the educational mission of the Christian family is a true ministry through which the Gospel is transmitted and radiated, so that family life itself becomes in some way a Christian initiation and a school of following Christ.”  “Parents are through the witness of their lives the first heralds of the gospel for their children.” AM46.   Many more nuggets of wisdom are contained in this long section of the document which is devoted to the family, the elderly, men, women, youth and children.  Its heading is “Living in Harmony.”

We are well aware that harmony is not the situation in families, that discord exists and as do different forms of family, with single parent families more common than married families in South Africa. However with the theme of Parenting and Life much work can be done at home and in parishes to create better harmony, in relationships with one another and with God.

The accompanying poster can also be downloaded from the website, enlarged and displayed prominently in parishes, schools or used as a colouring-in picture in catechism classes and at home.  It highlights important days that can be celebrated with an awareness of their particular meaning for families and notes other projects and programmes and a special prayer details for which are given below.

So putting families first this month of May, Mary’s month for Family and Life should not be considered selfish but necessary and important and above all enriching. Enjoy!

Toni Rowland

MARFAM NEWS

READ. READ. READ.   Are Catholic families reading something extra during the Year of Faith?
The 2013 YEAR OF FAITH FAMILY YEAR PLANNER forms the basic resource for the year’s programme of family enrichment. In addition to the 2^nd small booklet FAMILY MOMENTS &FAITH MOMENTS built around the family themes for the months April – June  the first FAMILY MATTERS magazine is now available.  This contains more in-depth articles on current topics with a special focus section on MAY THE MONTH FOR FAMILY AND LIFE.    A 4 page activity for families on the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit can be used for Pentecost.

The magazine contains an article on the Focolare New Families movement and highlighting different movements will be continued.

References to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Scripture and  Church documents and a simple SEE-JUDGE-ACT method for faith and life sharing in the home are promoted through all these publications.

In the next months more emphasis will be put on the use of electronic media, the website, enewsletter and facebook.   This is still a learning experience for me but one that is becoming increasingly important in today’s  world.   A question to be asked, “Are there enough faith-centred sms messages going around or is there a place for a more family-centred one?”   What works, what can work, or work better?   Do let us know.

FAMILY PRESERVATION, reported on previously, continues to be an interest and will be pursued and incorporated into Family Life Desk work too.   The manual developed for faith-based organisations was completed and handed over to the Social Development Department.

FULL LIST OF PUBLICATIONS AND COSTS RELEVANT for this time.on www.marfam.org.za/blog

FAMILY MATTERS No 1 for 2013. Magazine for families and about current aspects of family life for everyone. Cost R12.  Bulk prices apply.

Family Moments and Faith Moments, Thoughts for the Day April – June @ R10 based on the family year planner calendar themes.   A selection of these is translated into various local languages Afrikaans, Zulu, Sotho, North Sotho, Tswana and Xhosa and distributed by email on behalf of the SACBC Family Life Desk.

2013 SACBC Family Year Planner calendar. Now from R200 for 100.

HELLO MARY is a small children’s  activity book introducing them to Mary, the Mother of God with some extra explanatory notes for parents and educators.

Parenting a Labour Love. 6 session booklet for faith sharing on aspects of parenting.  Cost R10.

Article for the month: Parenting tips on budgeting Poem of the month:  “I hate housework,” Mary muttered…..

THE YEAR OF FAITH AND THE FAMILY

Both the SACBC Family Life Desk and MARFAM will have this focus until the end of 2013. See www.marfam.org.za/blog/yearoffaith.  From Notes for the Year of Faith extract on families 8.  “We will have  the opportunity to profess our faith in the Risen Lord in our cathedrals and churches of the whole world, in our homes and among our families so that everyone may feel a strong need to know better and to transmit to future generations the faith of all times.”

In their YF programmes parishes, schools, sodalities and other groups e.g. Renew groups should not neglect the family, the domestic church and its role in the Church and in society. Marfam publications promote Family catechesis.

SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS From the Coordinator’s Desk.

Also see www.marfam.org.za/blog

The SACBC has recently appointed a communications officer and plans are being implemented to strengthen the SACBC website and the section on the Family Life Desk will also be updated regularly.   This will impact this section of MARFAM’s regular e-newsletter in future. See  http://www.sacbc.org.za/about-us/departments/evangelisation/family-life-desk

2013 YEAR OF FAITH.  Theme for the year:   FAMILY MOMENTS – FAITH MOMENTS

From FAMILY MOMENTS – FAITH MOMENTS.  May theme: Parenting and Life. Do sexually active people recognise their power and truly believe that creating new life is being co-creators with God of a life that once conceived is eternal? Such a new life demands respect, nurturing, dignity and, as the child grows, discipline and value formation.  Parenting is a lifelong journey in faith where the roles of mothers and fathers too are of great value.   The parenting role can be played by another family member. In all cases much can be learned from reflecting on God as Father and his relationship with Jesus his Son and of course too from Mary as mother.   No one knows the Son except the Father and no one knows the Father except the son and any one to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.  Luke 10:22.

2013 YEAR OF FAITH. Theme for the year: FAMILY MOMENTS – FAITH MOMENTS, Monthly themes:

MAY A MONTH FOR FAMILY AND LIFE, THEME: FAMILY FIRST!

International Family Day is celebrated on May 15^th.  This year’s theme is “Keeping families together across the generations.” How well are we caring for young and for old in families?   See below under Family spirituality for more suggestions.

ACTIVITIES.

DIOCESAN FAMILY LIFE OFFICES. Assisting dioceses to establish and maintain an office is one of the main objectives and offers have been made to bishops to assist. A consultation process then begins to establish the needs of the particular diocese, to set up structures, offer training and ongoing support.  Aliwal and Queenstown dioceses had workshops in April.

These visits to the Eastern Cape took up a lot of the month of April and were enriching too. Role plays and the discussions were enjoyed by the participants. It is a relatively underdeveloped part of the country, one where the Church was established already in the early 20^th century but where it is very small with many small communities forming a parish. It is good to see Parish Family Ministry being considered in other and smaller rural dioceses where family lives are so different to the big city parishes as so often the economically viable and young people leave to find work in the cities.

Aliwal diocese is spread over a 31 2000 sq km area and with few priests has built up a strong Small Christian Community base where ideally families and members of families share their faith lives as Mass cannot be celebrated in all the outlying communities weekly.  On an early morning sunrise walk I encountered a kind of “burning bush” experience not adequately displayed on the picture.

Queenstown is slightly smaller geographically but has more Catholics but without the same SCC base.  Each bishop has their work cut out to serve the needs of the families.   This was discussed in part at an Evangelisation Department brainstorming meeting too.

PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY workshops of various kinds are held in Johannesburg and elsewhere at the request of local dioceses or other groups.

FUTURE FAMILY MINISTRY EVENTS: Contact 082 5521275 for details

• MAY A MONTH FOR FAMILY AND LIFE.   THEME:  FAMILY FIRST!
• 18 May, PFM workshop at Johannesburg cathedral.
• 21-23 June Parish Family Ministry weekend workshop at Koinonia in Johannesburg
• FAMILY LEADERS CONFERENCE 2013. Date still to be advised.

2014 is the International Year of the Family + 20. Watch this space for more information.

BITS AND BYTES

TRUCKERS AGAINST TRAFFICKING is an initiative of the SACBC CTIP department.  After the CTIP conference in April a project was launched to create awareness of the problem of trafficking and prostitution on trucking routes across the continent and also to address a need for wellness centres at truck stops as a preventative measure.  Find out more at the Counter Trafficking in Persons Office (CTIP) as a joint project of the Leadership Conference of Consecrated Life [LCCL(SA)] and the Southern African Catholic Bishops conference http://www.sacbc.org.za/about-us/offices/ctip/

LAY FORMATION is a very important need in the local Church on many levels. This happens mostly in larger centres but much is also available on line or in the form of newsletters.  Johannesburg  information to hand:

ST AUGUSTINE COLLEGE, South Africa’s Catholic university based in Johannesburg offers undergraduate degrees in BCom (Politics, Philosophy, Economics), BA (Humanities) and BTh (Theology).  There are three Honours degrees - BEd Hons in Religious and Values Education, BTh Hons in Theology and BA Hons in Peace Studies. Masters degrees are in Applied Ethics, Theology, Philosophy and Culture and Education.  Doctoral Degrees are offered in Theology and Philosophy.  Visit www.staugustine.ac.za to plan for 2014 or for upcoming short courses. Regular public lectures on a wide range of current and relevant life-related topics are also offered.

Long and short Conferences, presentations and workshops are also opportunities for growth. More of these on family issues are needed.

PAULINES BOOKS AND MEDIA CENTRE in Johannesburg.  Mini-conference by Dr Michael van Heerden, president of St Augustine College, South Africa’s Catholic university. “Creation: chance or necessity.”   Saturday 11^th May.  Contact internet@paulines.co.za

The Parliamentary Liaison Office (CPLO) based in Cape Town holds regular Round Tables to further a network on legislative matters.   Visit www.cplo.org.za

RADIO  VERITAS on channel 576AM, on DSTV audio channel 170 and streaming on the internet is 1 year old and growing but like every Church department is in need of funds. A new funding campaign: Buy a R200 ticket and stand to win a paid pilgrimage to the Holy Land, Jordan and Cairo in October 2013.  Contact www.radioveritas.co.za for more info.

FAMILY MATTERS is hosted by Toni Rowland on Wednesday 9-10 am. Family themes for the month are used o elaborate and interview people around the topic.  Feel free to call, sms or email with your views and insights on these and in particular how in your locations you are able to celebrate the The YEAR OF FAITH with families.

CORRESPONDENCE

LIFETALK is a resource for parents, teens and teen educators. In an article written for Life Talk, Jennifer Lewis says: “Adolescence, as we all know, is a time for experimentation and perhaps a little risk taking too. Taking risks is important for your teen’s development, as they must learn to explore the world without their parents, and discover that they are capable of managing on their own. But what if the risk taking becomes dangerous, and would you know if it had become so? At present, one area of particular concern for health professionals is the rise in the number of teenagers abusing prescription drugs.    For more on Life Talk books, website, newsletters and talks visit www.tugoflife.com.

USEFUL WEBSITES AND RESOURCES FOR FAMILIES

Contact information for Catholic family movements and organizations in Southern African region: www.marfam.org.za/blog

Most family movements deal with aspects of marriage, preparation, enrichment or helping troubled relationships. Some dioceses and parishes have a counselling resource or referral lists.   Other useful websites can be added. Let us know of your favourites.  Find information on recognised national family organisations: Catholic Engaged Encounter, Couples for Christ, Equipes de Nossa Senhora, Focolare-New Families, Marriage Encounter, Retrouvaille, Schoenstatt Family Movement on www.marfam.org.za/blog and contact them for their news.

Also see http://www.sacbc.org.za/about-us/departments/evangelisation/family-life-desk as it is updated.

YEAR OF FAITH VATICAN WEBSITE http://www.annusfidei.va/content/novaevangelizatio/en.html.

www.vatican.va and www.zenit.org. can be accessed for all church documents on all the aspects of faith and life.

National Catholic Reporter www.ncronline.org The Southern Cross online www.scross.co.za

Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute http://www.c-fam.org/ austin.ruse@c-fam.org and Friday Fax www.foryourmarriage.org US Catholic Bishops sponsored monthly newsletter on marriage and family life.

Also from the US Bishops a resource for the Year of Faith and Families  www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/how-we-teach/new-evangelization/year-of-faith/year-of-faith-family-resources.cfm

www.catholiceducation.org/updates/latest.htm Catholic Education Resource Centre not only for educators but any adults.

www.smartmarriages.com carries numerous articles on marriage and family life.

http://www.paulinesa.org/index.php/cultural-activities.html.The Pauline sisters in Johannesburg have a wide range of books on many topics.  According to Sr Christiana the section on family life is one of the least popular.  Why?

For Christian movies to rent or book for showings contact info@humblepie.tv or visit www.humblepie.tv.   Two of their movies Courageous, on fatherhood, and Fireproof, on marriage are very meaningful for family ministry groups.

Social networking is a growing resource and some dioceses or groups, including MARFAM have a facebook page.

FAMSA www.famsa.org.za has offices across the country offering counselling, marriage preparation, family education, divorce mediation and counselling and more. Many other NGO’s e.g. LifeLine, Child Welfare, Anxiety and Depression Support groups offer services to families as do the Social Development Department social workers.

FAMILY SPIRITUALITY suggestions for THE YEAR OF FAITH, May and June

• MAY A MONTH FOR FAMILY AND LIFE.   Specific theme: FAMILY FIRST! Focus on the right to life and support any campaigns that prevent women and girls from refusing the right to life to their unborn babies.  See www.marfam.org.za/blog May special.
• The multinational ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event is scheduled for May 3rd(Friday), May 4th(Saturday), and May 5th(Sunday)  2013. The Rosary will be prayed for the following intention: For an end to the surgical and non-surgical killing of unborn human persons. Please, do for the unborn babies that which they can not do for themselves: http://www.saintmichaelthearchangelorganization.org/promotingtheprayerevent.html
• Research what local initiatives there are e.g. Pro-Life, Birthright, Culture of Life, Human Life International, Mater Homes for pregnant mothers in need, adoption agencies or homes for abandoned babies and offer your support. 
• The 2013 FAMILY MOMENTS – FAITH MOMENTS family year planner calendar’s May focus is on Parenting and Life A Family Hour can be used for some input, reflection and sharing using the booklet FAMILY MOMENTS & FAITH MOMENTS for April to June with its thoughts for the day and special reflections on the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit leading up to Pentecost.  Church documents and scripture support each reflection.  The June theme is Faith and June and a youth programme can already be prepared, ideally combining youth and their families.
• MAY DEVOTIONS TO MARY, the mother of Jesus should ideally happen in parishes and in appropriate ways at home.  A simple prayer to Our Lady can be taught to little children.

I love you Mary, Mother of God, will you be my friend and mother too?

Please pray to Jesus to care for us all in everything we do.   Thank you for……….   I pray especially for……

HELLO MARY is a simple children’s activity booklet based on the Hail Mary.

• St Joseph the Worker feast is widely commemorated as WORKERS DAY on May 1^st.  In some places this is done on the following Sunday.  The theme of Work and the Family can be developed. Are our relationships as employers, employees, bosses, workers and colleagues what they should be?    Picture of a statue at Mount Carmel Centre, Aliwal North.
• MOTHERS DAY is celebrated on 12^th May. Don’t just make it a commercial exercise but a real show of love and appreciation to all mothers – even young ones and old ones – at church and at home.  Invite mothers too to reflect on their role.
• PENTECOST is the Church’s birthday, a major feast but also an occasion to focus on the role of the Holy Spirit and the gifts and fruits in our families. See FAMILY MATTERS magazine for a family activity on the gifts and fruits.
• STATIONS OF LIGHT can be prayed at home or make a visit to Bosco Centre at Walkerville outside Johannesburg as a family group.
• As a family do some research on the lives of SAINTS FOR THE MONTH. Our Lady of Fatima is a big feast for Portuguese families and some others too.
• FAMILY CATECHESIS IS FOR YOUNG AND OLD. http://www.nyfaithformation.org/central-offices/family-catechesis/

from the Catechetical Office of the Archdiocese of New York informs us.  “In family catechesis, all family members, adults as well as children, work, learn and pray together.

• See also the Department for Evangelisation YEAR OF FAITH booklet of reflections for faith sharing groups.

• Participate in parish projects as a family or bring a family perspective into discussions in other groups.

FINALLY …… on a lighter (sheepish) note …

Having been in “sheep country” in the Eastern Cape on Good Shepherd Sunday I was very conscious of sheep. There used to be many 1000s in the area but presumably the decreasing demand for wool  and the problem of sheep snatching as is described in the gospel of the Sunday have reduced numbers.   Google kindly led me to this interesting site.  http://thesheepwhisperer777.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html

POPE FRANCIS on the theme is reported to have said, “A church that limits itself to just carrying out administrative duties, caring for its tiny flock, is a church that in the long run will get sick. The pastor who isolates himself is not a true pastor of sheep, but a ‘hairdresser’ for sheep who spends his time putting curlers on them instead of going to look for others. Today we have one in the pen and 99 we need to go looking for.” http://www.catholicbible101.com/popefrancisquotes.htm.  Who copied whom?  Google some sheepish jokes for family fun.

MARFAM’s vision since its start in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment. Publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Read more at www.marfam.org.za/blog We thank our advertisers for their support and ask readers to support them in turn. Financial contributions towards MARFAM’s ministry are also most welcome. Details supplied on request.

YOUR PARENTING TOOLKIT
Top 10 tips for better FAMILY BUDGETING
‘Living within ones means’ is the most basic principles of financial prudence. Most financial problems originate from people spending more than what they earn.

Budget is the roadmap to your financial independence. It helps you to stop worrying and start ‘enjoying’ your money- rather than compromise your future for a few moments of pleasure today. A budget shifts the power from money to you. You manage the money rather than money managing you.

The idea of budgeting is not to restrict your spending, but to make the best of what you have – in a planned manner. Here are some tips to making your budgets work for you.

1. A goal-oriented budget

Have goals in your budget. For example, decide that you will buy the home theatre through savings over the next say 3-4 months, instead of using your credit card and creating a debt.

This will make budgets interesting and something worth looking forward to.

2. Budgeting is not just your baby

Budgeting is and should be a family affair. You cannot be solely responsible for the family budgets. Your spouse and children have an equal part to play. Make everyone understand what the family incomes are, how much is spent on essential items such as food, rent, electricity, fees, petrol, transport, etc. and savings. This will give a fair idea to everyone as to where they can spend and where they can’t.

3. Budgeting can be fun

Many times you may be hard-pressed for money. With a little bit of creative budgeting and cutting corners somewhere you can save some money for a family picnic. This will create lot of fun and excitement,

as you all will get a feeling of accomplishment.

4. Challenge yourself

People take certain expenses like electricity, petrol or transport costs for granted. Challenge yourself to find ways to reduce them. You can park your car a kilometer away from the shopping mall and walk to the mall. You save petrol for 2 ks. You keep yourself fit by walking and save on medical expenses. Still better, you need not go to the gym and save yourself the gym fees. All these small savings add up to quite a lot at the end of the year.

5. Forget about credit cards

A credit card has the potential to blow apart your budget. With all the goodies available in the malls, it is natural to get tempted. If you carry a credit card, you don’t think much about how you will pay for it. As this debt keeps accumulating, your budget goes out of the window. Dump your credit card and get only a debit card. Keep only a small amount in your bank. This way you will automatically avoid overspending.

6. Budgeting does not require 100% accuracy

A budget has to be detailed. But too much detail would make it tedious and sooner or later, you will forget all about budgeting. The intention is to strike the right balance. You need not list down 100% of your expenses. Even 80-90% may be enough to achieve the purpose of budgeting. This is not an exam where you must get the perfect answer.

7. Buying the best-of-the-best may not be the best thing to do

You buy the best mobile phone in the market, packed with a host of features. However, usually you use only 25-30% of them. Then why pay for the 70%, which you won’t really use? You have a digital camera. Do you really need one in your phone too? Think. Buy utility things rather than jazzy ones. You will save a lot of your hard-earned cash.

8. Budgeting helps build healthy relations too

Tensions arise in family if they are not aware of the household finances and you keep refusing them things they want to buy. Money is one of the prime reasons for divorce. If you are open about your finances, a lot of misconceptions will disappear and improve your relations with your family.

9. Building a safety net

Financial emergencies can happen to anyone. Job loss, natural disasters etc. can be really devastating. Would you like to then run around and arrange for cash? Or would you prefer having an emergency fund, which you can draw upon?

A little bit of care in building your safety net will save you a lot of trouble.

10. Be flexible

With time, your incomes, needs and expenses, all will change. Therefore, be open to changing your budgets. A budget is not something cast in stone, that cannot be changed.

Finally a warning – preparing a budget is the easier part of the job. The difficult part is adhering to it – month after month, year after year. You have to be patient, committed and determined, or else it will end up as promises only with no concrete result.

Family Life Desk – Department for Evangelisation – SA Catholic Bishops’ Conference

2013, THE YEAR OF FAITH AND THE FAMILY : FAMILY MOMENTS – FAITH MOMENTS

MAY THEME. PARENTING AND LIFE.

A selection of reflections from the faith sharing booklet FAMILY MOMENTS – FAITH MOMENTS with a focus on catechesis.

31. MAY THEME. PARENTING AND LIFE.

Do sexually active people recognise their power and truly believe that creating new life is being co-creators with God of a life that once conceived is eternal? Such a new life demands respect, nurturing, dignity and as the child grows, discipline and value formation. Parenting is a lifelong journey in faith where the roles of mothers and fathers too are of great value. The parenting role can be played by another family member. In all cases much can be learned from reflecting on God as Father and his relationship with Jesus, his Son.

No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and any one to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Luke (10:22) One of the most important tasks of a family is to co-operate with God to bring new life into the world and to nurture and support this life as children are born and grow from infancy into childhood, adolescence and adulthood. Parents do not own their children but hold them in trust. Parents cannot control their actions especially as they need to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. Parenting is facilitating growth through mentoring and accompanying children step by step. It is valuable and necessary to pray for parents and as parents for commitment and faithfulness to this essential task.

CCC 2223 Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery – the preconditions of all true freedom.

33. MAY A MONTH DEVOTED TO MARY, THE MOTHER OF GOD. DEVOTION TO OUR LADY.

The Catholic Church puts great emphasis on devotion to Mary, as the Mother of God. She is venerated and honoured but adoration and worship are reserved for God. She is also honoured as mother of the members of the Church and people in different cultures venerate her in their own special ways. Prayers such as the Hail Mary, the Rosary and the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary highlight many qualities which appeal to us in different ways at different times. Mother of Sorrows, might be a comfort to suffering people, Mother of the Holy Family, to others and Queen of Peace, to still others. Families can value devotion to Mary even if not all their members are Catholic.

Honour, revere and respect the Blessed Virgin Mary with a very special love; she is the Mother of our Sovereign Lord, and so we are her children. Let us think of her with all the love and confidence of affectionate children; let us desire her love, and strive with true filial hearts to imitate her graces. St Francis de Sales. Introduction to the Devout Life. Christian Classics Ethereal Library, www.ccel.org

34. CULTURE OF LIFE. The month of May was approved by the Southern African bishops to celebrate Family and Life. The value of unborn life and the evil of abortion are particular focus points of the Culture of Life campaigns in the various dioceses. Many movements and organisations are directly or indirectly pro-life in their ministry too and this attitude should be central to our Catholic approach and life-view. Nurturing and protecting life at all stages from conception to natural death is one of the tasks of the family in the Church. How can each of our families carry out this task?

Thou shall not procure abortion or commit infanticide. The Didache 2.1 (early second century AD).

The fundamental task of the family is to serve life, transmitting by procreation the divine image from person to person. Pope John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, 28.

35. 6TH SUNDAY OF EASTER The Spirit. Fr Peter told the congregation, “In the gospel of today Jesus and the Holy Spirit are both described as advocates with the Father. Who knows what an advocate is apart from being a particular kind of legal person? An advocate speaks and acts for and on behalf of others. Obviously he is the one who is meant to bring about a positive outcome but our own role is still an active one. We each are called on to repent and to believe. Has this been the experience of Lent and Easter for you and your family? Share on this when you get home and ask if more can or should still be done?”

The Counsellor, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name he will teach you all things an bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. John 14: 26.

The theological virtues are the foundation of Christian moral activity. They are infused by God into the souls of the faithful to make them capable of acting as his children and of meriting eternal life. They are the pledge of the presence and action of the Holy Spirit in the faculties of the human being. There are three theological virtues: faith, hope, and charity. CCC 1813

36. 9th ASCENSION DAY.

The 40 days from Easter, a symbolic number which means a certain length of time, was used by Jesus to continue teaching the apostles and preparing them for when he would return to the Father. He promised not to leave them orphans but to send a helper to carry out their commission to go out and evangelise. Families are the first evangelisers, spreading the Good News of God’s love to those within and then beyond the family. Parental love by both mothers and fathers, or by others playing this role is a special unique way for doing this. How else will children understand that God is a loving parent?

The family is the “sanctuary of life” and a vital cell of society and of the Church. It is here that “the features of a people take shape; it is here that its members acquire basic teachings. They learn to love inasmuch as they are unconditionally loved, they learn respect for others inasmuch as they are respected, they learn to know the face of God inasmuch as they receive a first revelation of it from a father and a mother full of attention in their regard. Africae Munus 42

37. WEEK OF PRAYER FOR CHRISTIAN UNITY.

In the years from Vatican II a strong ecumenical focus has grown in the Church and restoring unity among Christians, apart from addressing the issue of other non-Christian religions, is the ideal for which we pray. A degree of unity in beliefs and practice is important for families to celebrate even when they worship in different churches or faiths. Learning more about one another’s beliefs and especially what we have in common is very helpful.

Theme for the 2013 week of prayer for Christian unity. “What does the Lord require of us? He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

To mark its centenary, the Student Christian Movement of India (SCMI) was invited to prepare the resources for the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity. Visit www.vatican.va or google for more information

38. 19th PENTECOST. Fr Peter was wearing red. “No it is not Valentine’s day again,” he said, “but we are talking about love. The prayer ‘Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in us the fire of your love’ is truly a family prayer in the Church as Family too. It is the power generated by God’s love, the Spirit, expressed in the gifts and their fruits that can sustain parents as they help their children grow to maturity. Spirituality may sometimes be seen as a women’s thing but men and particularly in their role as fathers can also experience and display the power of love in a unique way. A father concept will always be a special one for a child of any age. I remember my dad . . . .”

I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. Joel in Acts 2:16-18

CCC 731 On the day of Pentecost when the seven weeks of Easter had come to an end, Christ’s Passover is fulfilled in the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, manifested, given, and communicated as a divine person: of his fullness, Christ, the Lord, pours out the Spirit in abundance.

39. 26TH TRINITY SUNDAY. While she was a catechist for some years Mabel had often wondered how best to explain the Blessed Trinity to children. It’s all very well to say it is a mystery and so beyond our understanding but that didn’t satisfy her own little Teresa. Then it struck Mabel, we are a family, we are a father, a mother and a child, a community of love you could say, three individuals but one family. That seemed to make sense to Teresa, and seemed more appropriate then comparing the Trinity to a robot. Red, yellow, green all have individual messages but together they make a traffic light. Ok but… .

In the Church as family where Jesus Christ, the first-born among many brethren reconciled all people with God the Father and bestowed the Holy Spirit, the Church for her part becomes the bearer of the Good News that every human person is a child of God. AM 8

I HATE HOUSEWORK

“I hate housework,” Mary muttered under her breath.

“Joseph comes in with his dirty feet,

all the neighbourhood kids and dogs seem to think this is just anyone’s home

and food and drinks are always on offer.

I hate cleaning up and washing interminable pairs of dirty jeans,

or the latest fashion clothes that won’t even drip dry.

I’d much rather sit quietly and meditate and spend time getting to know God better

and I’d really like to do that course in self-development I saw advertised.”

“I wish my father could have sent me to be educated, ” Joseph sighed.

“I always wanted to be a teacher and spread the word, but there wasn’t money for that

and I had to carry on the family business.

Mind you, earning your living with your hands isn’t so bad.

Feeling the sheen of the wood under your hands

and being able to create this furniture that is functional

and - though I say it myself – also beautiful

does give me a really good feeling. “

Sitting back comfortably after dinner and the usual bed-time story,

when he leaned over and kissed her on the nose and said,

“Honey, that was really nice. I’m so happy.

I just feel so much at home here with you and our family, in our own little nest, “

they knew that the rewards weren’t only going to be out of this world,

and that God was happy too.