• Family Matters July 2012

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  Jul 2

   

  MARFAM’S FAMILY MATTERS

  2012 – DAY BY DAY WITH GOD AND FAMILY

  JULY – GRANDPARENTS
  

   

  MARFAM’s vision since its start in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment.  Publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Read more at www.marfam.org.za/blog

  We thank our advertisers for their support and ask readers to support them in turn.  Financial contributions towards MARFAM’s ministry are also most welcome.  Details supplied on request.

  CONTENTS

  Editorial : Will You Remember Me?
  

  MARFAM News.
  FAMILY MATTERS  and more
  

  SACBC Family Life Desk News and activities,
  2012 July theme “Grandparents”
  7^th World Meeting of Families, Milan   and more
  Looking ahead, a Marriage Awareness Campaign
  

  BITS AND BYTES:  Removal of Christmas and Good Friday?
  Hacking, end of life choices and more
  

  CORRESPONDENCE:  a missionary’s life
  

  FAMILY SPIRITUALITY suggestions for July
  

  FINALLY ….. on the lighter side.

  DAY BY DAY, DEAR LORD, THREE THINGS I PRAY, TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY, LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY, FOLLOW THEE MORE NEARLY.

  Download Printable Version

  You can communicate with us through our blog or facebook page.

  Will You Remember Me?

  Rephrase the words of Jesus from the Eucharist and the recent feast of Corpus Christi and it could be considered a plea from Jesus. “Will you remember me, day by day?”  I was reflecting on this question, “ Will we remember so many things in life and beyond and will we remember day by day, or just occasionally at special moments?”

  Those are some thoughts at the end of this month of June, Youth month and one  during which for me the World Meeting of Families in Milan featured very large and will long be remembered by our whole delegation.   Its themes were Family, Work and Celebration.   A family is the place where memories are created, shared and cherished.  They are what makes a family unique.  A family is the place where obviously work is an essential factor for survival  and it too easily  becomes all-absorbing  for all the family members who are fortunate enough to have a job.  “Do we live to work, or work to live?”  we could ask.  The WMF message was to do our best to keep the balance between work and family which needs to be a place to rest and where there is time to rest and recuperate.   Sunday should be a day of rest.   God rested too from his work of creation and during his day of rest he must have celebrated.  Scripture tells us “God looked at what he had done and it was very good.”

  It is of course very good to celebrate whatever is current but at the same time important to remember and celebrate what has gone before.   Reflecting on the June theme we could say that youth and even fathers are creating the memories and grandparents, who are our July focus, relive the memories. They can revive them for the rest of their families, to the point of boredom no doubt at times, but revisiting matters to us all.

  During these last days of June I remember particularly my late beloved husband Chris, who died 12 years ago which means that three of the seven grandchildren never knew their granddad.  Other deaths of dear friends and family occurred around this time too and a poem in the poems section of the website helps to remember.  I shall make an effort to both remember and share the memories.  As an older person, even though I am very busy right now, one does have more time to remember and reflect so grandparents are given special attention this month and in the current Part 3 booklet DAY BY DAY WITH GOD AND FAMILIES.    Day by Day as we pray, participate in the Eucharist, remembering the life, death and resurrection of Our Lord,  a family focus invites us to relate our ordinary everyday life experiences to this saving event.   A Movement of Prayer for Grandparents to pray for Grandchildren is another opportunity for a special ministry which was also highlighted by another group at the World Meeting.    Toni Rowland

  For reports, talks and many official photos of the World Meeting of Families visit  www.families2012.com The report of our own delegation can be accessed at www.sacbc.org.za and some memories also at www.marfam.org.za/blog

  MARFAM NEWS

  

  MARFAM NEWS READ. READ. READ.              MAGAZINE  FAMILY MATTERS and MORE

  The magazine renamed FAMILY MATTERS is still relevant especially the article “Parenting is for Life.” Grandparents know only too well that their task is not finished when the children are grown up and they begin a new phase of parenting which includes the children of our children.

  The next issue of FAMILY MATTERS now in preparation will focus on Marriage and the 3rd issue of 2012 on the Year of Faith.  The catechesis on work-family balance is from the Pontifical Council for the Family for the 7^th World Meeting of Families.  As always, to increase our reach and exposure  more promotion is needed, from bishops in their dioceses and others in parishes, schools and homes as an aid to parents.  We welcome feedback too on the type of articles readers would find helpful.

  Part 3 of DAY BY DAY WITH GOD AND FAMILY is still current as it covers the time from Pentecost until Advent.  Part 4 will focus specifically on the MARRIAGE SEASON from week 21 to 27 i.e. August to MARRIAGE DAY on 7^th October.  Extracts for July are published on the blogsite and translations of these can be requested by email.

  A July article: PARENTING IN DIVERSE FAMILY SITUATIONS is a practical one written by Rayhab Motsoane, a social worker. The poem WILL YOU REMEMBER ME is a bit of nostalgia for grandparents and others.

  CURRENT AND RELEVANT PUBLICATIONS AND COSTS: www.marfam.org.za/blog for full list.

  FAMILY MATTERS –24 page magazine.  R12.

  2012 Year Planner calendar. Given out with sales of booklets.

  DAY BY DAY WITH GOD AND FAMILY part 3. Booklets R10 each, bulk prices R8 for 20+ and R7 for 50+.  There are 100+ reflections on Sunday themes, feastdays and local holidays as well as many general family-related themes over the next months until Advent.

  PARENTING A LABOUR OF LOVE, 6 sessions for reflection and sharing in groups or families on aspects of parenting. Cost R10.

  EVERY CHILD A NEW SMILE in English, Afrikaans, Zulu and Sotho.  Six reflections on relevant family themes which also have  excellent handdrawn illustrations for children. Cost R10.

  MARRIAGE AND THE PASCHAL MYSTERY, a booklet on marriage for families or faith sharing groups e.g. SCCs. Cost R10  BECOMING MARRIED comes with a separate leaflet that outlines how it can be used in a group.  R10 + R5.

  FAMILIES BECOME WHAT YOU ARE, and BUILDING A FAMILY CHURCH faith sharing booklets from the FAMILY LIFE DESK are based on the 4 tasks of families from Familiaris Consortio. Cost R6 and R5.

  EVERY CHILD A NEW SMILE in English, Afrikaans, Zulu and Sotho. Six reflections on relevant family themes with excellent handdrawn illustrations for children. Cost R10.

  SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS From the Coordinator’s Desk.

   

  Find information about  recognised national family organisations on www.marfam.org.za/blog and contact them for their news.  See also  http://www.sacbc.org.za/about-us/departments/evangelisation/family-life-desk

  The family theme for 2012, DAY BY DAY WITH GOD AND FAMILY is built into Family Life Desk’s activities and resources.

  JULY THEME: GRANDPARENTS. Grandparents are at the opposite extreme to the youth in families.  They have been there and done that and are not really interested in the T shirt.  Maybe they are too tired, having given so much of themselves for their children and also their grandchildren.  Is the wisdom gained from experience still being valued as much as it should be?   Grandparents, children and grandchildren all need to practise tolerance and acceptance. A good dose of gratitude towards one another is very helpful as we pray for and with one another day by day.  In Africa, the elderly are held in particular veneration. They are not banished from families or marginalized as in other cultures. On the contrary, they are esteemed and perfectly integrated within their families, of which they are indeed the pinnacle. This beautiful African appreciation of old age should inspire Western societies to treat the elderly with greater dignity. Sacred Scripture speaks frequently of the elderly. “Rich in experience is the crown of the aged, and their boast is the fear of the Lord” (Sir 25:6)

  JANUARY : New Beginnings FEBRUARY : Car for the Sick MARCH : Human Rights and Family Rights. APRIL : God and Families MAY : Family, Life and Parenting JUNE : Youth Matters

  JULY : Grandparents AUGUST : Gender Matters SEPTEMBER : Marriage and Culture OCTOBER : Mission and Vocation NOVEMBER : Loss DECEMBER : Family, a Gift.

  PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY REPORT

  PFM workshops were held in Johannesburg and Bloemfontein dioceses in May.  Participants value the opportunity to explore this ministry which, as a comprehensive programme for all aspects of family life, is still new in many places.  Financing the training is difficult.  Short workshops do not get into the material sufficiently deeply.   Weekend workshops, although subsidised are costly.  It was again affirmed at the World Meeting of Families that this type of support for family life is essential.  Dioceses, parishes and lay, family people themselves have to make a commitment to support this training for an  effective family ministry programme which can also dovetail well with other diocesan initiatives.

  Winter, apart from the fact that there could be greater freedom as it is school holiday time, is a not a popular time for workshops but mini-events continue and hopefully many PFM teams will make GRANDPARENTS DAY around 26^th July, a day to remember.  Bringing normally housebound older people to Mass, honouring them and offering a cup of hot soup has become an institution in some parishes.

  Preparation for the MARRIAGE AWARENESS CAMPAIGN that should be coordinated for the parish by its family ministry team will also begin in earnest this month, with resource materials being prepared and some training in the pipeline. Parenting programmes remain on the agenda too.

  The SACBC Family Life Desk is as always available to assist with planning and establishing diocesan, deanery and parish family portfolios.

  • PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP.  Next general weekend workshop 14-16 September.
  • PFM workshops in dioceses around the country are being planned over the next months. Contact me for details.

  REPORT  OF EVENTS

  • 12^TH MAY FAMILY LEADERS CONFERENCE. Coordinators of the recognised national family movements and organisations and diocesan family coordinators or their appointed representations met for a one day conference on the general themes of Africae Munus and PARENTING AND THE ROLE OF MEN. Brother Michael Burke facilitated an enriching day.  The participants passed three resolutions which will be passed on to the bishops at the August plenary.
    • Networking within the apostolate should be improved
    • A family focus should be integrated more effectively in all aspects of church life.  This could mean inviting collaborating with other sodalities e.g. The Women of St Anne, a sodality for married women.   Grandparents Day around 26^th July is their special celebration too.
    • Family prayer and spirituality should be promoted strongly.

  • 7^TH WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES, Milan, Italy, 30 May to 3^rd June.  Theme: Family, Work and Celebration.
    Six South Africans participated in the Meeting, which included a three-day Theological Congress developing the themes. Interaction with delegates from other countries, in particular the African countries happened in between sessions and other activities, such as the various meetings with the Pope. At the two large gatherings he addressed the questions that had been raised on relevant issues and brought the themes together in his homily.  Read more or visit www.family2012.com for further articles and reports.

  • Conference on “Africa’s Commitment”  June 23^rd cohosted by Daughters of St Paul and SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK in Johannesburg with the aim of exploring the 2^nd African Synod document from a family perspective.  The chosen topic was, “What do “Africa’s Commitment” and the Synod say to and about Families, Men and Youth?”  Peter Stohr, a member of the Focolare New Families  shared a powerful inspirational talk on his experience of fatherhood and Fr Sammy Mabusela, the coordinator of the SACBC Youth Desk delivered a lively message to youth and to their parents too.  “Youth are a treasure, for which one has to dig and which should be cherished.   Youth themselves have to value themselves and make Christ the centre of their lives.”

  Copies of these talks can be made  available.

  FUTURE EVENTS AND NOTICES:

  July is a fairly quiet, keep warm month for most of us in the southern hemisphere while those in the north prepare for their summer shut-downs.

  • GRANDPARENTS Month and Day around the 26^th July, the feast of St Joachim and St Ann.  Could this be done in collaboration with the Women of St Ann, the sodality for married women?
  • MARRIAGE AND YOU – A MARRIAGE AWARENESS CAMPAIGN coordinated by the SACBC Family Life Desk every three years during weeks 21-27 of the Year of Mark from 26 August until MARRIAGE DAY on 7^th October. Marriage is for you, bishops, priests, sisters, all lay people young and old. It is a sacrament of the Church and for the Church. Married couples are our couples, responsible to us and our responsibility too.  Resources are being developed by the Desk in conjunction with other organisations and will be available by the end of July.
  • 2^nd of 2 CONFERENCES co-hosted by Daughters of St Paul and the SACBC Family Life Desk on ‘Africa’s Commitment’ (Africae Munus)  and the family.  1^st September – Africa’s Commitment – Marriage and You.
  • Networking continues with the National Department for Social Development, especially on men, the DSD programme of Family Preservation which will be rolled out to Faith Based Organisations and consultations on the White Paper which will be the national policy on family life.  The Green Paper and be downloaded from www.dsd.gov.za and those interested can contact local DSD office to offer and obtain help.  
  • Presentation to a Men’s Forum in Cape Town on 30 June.  The role of men in family and society is still a hot topic.

  BITS AND BYTES

  World Refugee Day on 22^nd June received little attention in family ministry except for a reflection in the DAY BY DAY WITH GOD AND FAMILIES booklet.  Are refugees and migrants our forgotten people who only come to light when xenophobic attacks are reported in the press?  People have come from almost every African country and reportedly there are 3 million Zimbabweans alone in South Africa. In a country with a high unemployment rate that cannot but be considered a threat.

  RIO +20UN Conference. Unlike the 2002 Conference on Sustainable Development and the COP conference on climate change held in Durban last year when such conferences are held in far-away places they hardly attract our attention, and yet the issues are ever more pressing.  Zenit reports Caritas and Cardinal Reinhard Marx, president of the Commission of the Bishops Conference of the European Union (COMECE), urging  world leaders to place the human person as the basis for sustainable development during the Rio+20 UN Conference on Sustainable Development. Haven’t we heard that before too?

  REMOVAL OF CHRISTMAS DAY AND GOOD FRIDAY from the South African calendar is a “hot potato” currently being discussed.   Consultations are under way to look into the high number of public holidays.  But should the public holidays have a religious basis and should rights of small minority religious groupings be considered when over 70% of South Africa’s people are Christian?  Is this dechristianisation or secularisation?

  HACKING. Having my facebook page hacked into is frightening, but more than that the person responsible for doing so after the World Meeting had access to a whole lot more information that wasn’t on my facebook page at all. Apparently my profile was copied and money solicited to “rescue” me from Uganda after the Meeting. Easy enough to google some of that information but I suppose this is still a warning to be mindful of what is published and for readers to be extra careful when responding to requests.  Thanks to friends and especially Ntsako Motiang I was rescued!

  END OF LIFE DECISIONS AND ASSISTED DYING. A debate exists around this topic. “A key question is whether decriminalising assisted dying would be consistent with – or perhaps even required by – the bill of rights in the Constitution, particularly the right to life.”   For more access the Google Policy and Ethics” group and “Current debates on HIV/AIDS policy and ethics issues in Southern Africa and initiated by the Southern African HIV Clinicians Society  http://sahivsoc.org.”  How are Catholics to engage with this debate?  policy-ethics@googlegroups.com

  RADIO VERITAS GOES BIG. South Africa’s own Catholic radio station is on channel 576AM, on DSTV audio channel 170 and streaming on the internet. It is fast becoming a valued resource to inform and inspire listeners with music, magazine programmes, talk shows and lectures.  A number of programmes are hosted by volunteers   FAMILY MATTERS is hosted by Toni Rowland Wednesday 9-10 am. Feel free to call, sms or email with your views and insights on the current family topics.

  AFRICAE MUNUS and the elderly,

  Africae Munus, Pope Benedict’s Apostolic Exhortation from the 2^nd African Synod is translated as “Africa’s Commitment.” 47. A portion of the section LIVING IN HARMONY and focusing on families is devoted to the elderly  “In Africa, the elderly are held in particular veneration. They are not banished from families or marginalized as in other cultures. On the contrary, they are esteemed and perfectly integrated within their families, of which they are indeed the pinnacle. This beautiful African appreciation of old age should inspire Western societies to treat the elderly with greater dignity. Old age, despite the frailty which seems to accompany it, is a gift that should be lived each day in serene openness to God and neighbour. 48. It is because of this wisdom, sometimes obtained at a high price, that the elderly can influence the family in a variety of ways. Their experience naturally leads them not only to bridge the generation gap, but also to affirm the need for mutual support. They are an enrichment for all elements of the family, especially for young couples and for children who find in them understanding and love.

  The Hope and Joy campaign reminds us in a whole range of ways of Vatican II 50 years on.  Visit www.hopeandjoy.org.zaatican

  CORRESPONDENCE

  Fr Vince Carroll, an Australian Missionary of the Sacred Heart, returned three months ago to South Africa, a prolific writer of newsletters gives an insight into missionary life in a remote part of the country.  “I am titleing myself Assistant Priest to the (rural) Parish of Nzhelele, and almost on the Zimbabwe border, while the pastor is at home on extended sick leave. He was attacked and robbed in the priests’ house on Dec 18^th. It’s a big parish with maybe 330,000 people in it and we have 12 churches, which I visit 2 at a time each Sunday: I estimate about 400 come to church regularly. I am assisted by 3 catechists, and numerous volunteer catechists and Ministers of the Eucharist. Two OLSH sisters, one Irish and one African, live on the mission and run the clinic and AIDS outreach. I have baptised 67 so far in three sessions, married one couple and buried two others: I am beginning to take up weekly house visitation of the sick/ elderly with the catechists. Some of my efforts in an apostolic direction haven’t produced much fruit yet: e.g. in trying to direct the youth, firm up the children’s instruction at Liturgies, develop and implement Family Life Ministries. However, with Albert Chan’s help, I have been able to support the continuation of care for Orphans in the parish for three months: Government funding for that project ceased suddenly. This diocese has been blessed with a number of young priests recently ordained and three more in the offing, in the next 5 years.

  USEFUL WEBSITES AND RESOURCES FOR FAMILIES

  Contact information for Catholic family movements and organizations in Southern African region: www.marfam.org.za/blog.

  Most address aspects of marriage, some include parenting. Cape Town archdiocese offers a Basic Parenting programme.   For more information on this contact Jean Hendricks  jean.hendricks@pastoraldevelopment.co.za

  Some dioceses have a counselling resource or referral lists.  Enquire locally.

  SA Department for Social Development has a network of social workers across the country. Some are trained in Family Preservation and Parenting programmes and more.  www.dsd.gov.za.

  FAMSA. www.famsa.org.za has offices across the country offering counselling, marriage preparation, family education.

  FAMILY LIFE CENTRE an affiliate of FAMSA in Johannesburg area  www.familylife.co.za offers counselling and education and preventative programmes including a Family Law clinic in Soweto.   Active in Johannesburg since 1949!

  www.age-in-action.co.za  is an NGO but with government sponsorship offering support groups for elderly around the country.    Most of the women’s sodalities also care for the elderly in their own parishes.

  w.foryourmarriage.org US Catholic Bishops sponsored monthly newsletter on marriage and family life.

  www.catholiceducation.org/updates/latest.htm Catholic Education Resource Centre not only for educators but any adults.

  http://firstthings.org/page/newsletter/ US based Christian family site with loads of articles on parenting

  www.sisterrosemovies.com Sr Rose Pacatte reviews many movies regularly.

  www.smartmarriages.com carries many articles on marriage and family life.

  Discover www.awestruck.co.za a new initiative, an online Catholic social network and community based in Cape Town.

  FAMILY SPIRITUALITY

  Suggestions for July on the Grandparenting theme.

  • Use the booklets DAY BY DAY WITH GOD AND FAMILY. Choose some of the daily reflections with the suggested simple Family Hour format using a life situation, a scripture or Church passage, reflection and sharing and deciding on any action required, then finally ending with shared prayer.   There are reflections on the topics below.
  • Introduce young girls and boys to St Maria Goretti, one of the patron saints for young girls especially.
  • Celebrate GRANDPARENTS DAY, involving youth to honour the elderly in a special way.
  • Check out www.marfam.org.za.blog/liturgies and blessings for the Grandparents campaign to pray for grandchildren.

  FINALLY AND ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

  Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW PLAYSTATION… I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR…”

  His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”                          - submitted by jokes4U.

  A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:

  “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”

  “Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”

  “You’re coming empty handed?”

  MARFAM’s vision since its start in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment.  Publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Read more at www.marfam.org.za/blog

  We thank our advertisers for their support and ask readers to support them in turn.  Financial contributions towards MARFAM’s ministry are also most welcome.  Details supplied on request.
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