• September Family Matters Newsletter

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  Aug 31

  FAMILY MATTERS SEPTEMBER 2010

  MARFAM’s vision and aim since its beginnings in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment. The publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Your financial support helps us to operate, produce the various publications including this monthly enewsletter and maintain our website.
  Advertise your company or project on the website, enewsletter or various publications, send a donation to P.O.Box 2881, Randburg, South Africa or sign up for a monthly debit order. Every Rand, Dollar or Euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow.
  Contact us for details.

   

  CONTENTS

  Talk, talk…
  MARFAM News
  SACBC Family Life Desk News
    2010 Family Calendar and themes
    Some activities of the month
  SNIPPETS:
    5th September, Communications Sunday, South Africa
    Sexuality conferences
    Family Hour Activities
  CORRESPONDENCE
  IN CONCLUSION

   

  Talk, talk……

  Sometimes it is nice to pop into church and sit quietly in the presence of the Lord. Life is so noisy, with so much talk and bustle. That is nothing new. The wellknown Desiderata * is a reflection, which supposedly dates from 1692 but was actually written by one Max Ehrmann in 1927 and advises, “Go placidly amidst the noise and haste and remember what solace there may be in silence.” You don’t have to go into a church of course for silence, and sometimes there is very little silence as continuous singing fills the air. You can find silence at home, in the garden, out in nature too – a worthwhile thing to do now that spring will soon be starting.
  Talk is not all wrong either, just too much of it and not always very considered talk could be. Much talk at present is about the need to protect media freedom and one cannot disagree with that. But what place do talk shows and talk shops have in our world and our lives? The same few people tend to dominate the airwaves with their views which you can recognise quite easily. A very good thing about talk shows is the freedom for the public to be engaged in the issues of the day and that they can share their views on whatever issue is topical, relevant or on their mind. There may still be some censorship as not every caller gets on the air.
  The media, often through these talk shows, does play a significant role in public life. The public service strike can get support, be downplayed or condemned by how the talk show host presents and drives it. The value is that ordinary citizens have a voice. The down-side is that we are not all well informed except through these very media and our own views on the strike can be influenced by the ongoing reporting. Violence and intimidation will turn some off, while others may applaud. The fact that the strikers are in a way doing the work of the whole community in fighting unfair pay practices and corruption at higher levels should act in their favour. However balancing that with the needs of learners and patients who have been deprived is walking a tight-rope. Most of the population, I believe, listens to radio and TV sporadically as some of us cannot do so at work. But larger public debates by experts from different persuasions are and could be more helpful in shaping public opinion.
  Is the Church offering enough regular guidance on relevant topics? Is there a Church talk shop where people can have a say? Are we in our families talking enough to our youth and children about current affairs? Catholic media do exist, radio, newspapers and magazines, but how large is their influence? The Pope’s message for Communications Sunday 2010 is “The Priest and Pastoral Ministry in a Digital World: New Media at the Service of the Word.” (see below) The context was the Year of the Priest which has now ended but we can all take up the theme for our own pastoral caring.
  The Interdiocesan Consulation currently under way is a chance for Catholics to talk. There are questionnaires to be answered. Maybe the questions do not relate closely to whatever our current particular needs are but this is still an opportunity to have a say, to think back on the past, reflect on the present and look ahead to the way forward. Statistics issued recently tell us that the number of Catholics in South Africa is down. There are a whole lot of reasons for that no doubt but if we are concerned for growth in the future we need to get on board. We should have a talk shop at home, airing our issues and exploring the Church’s position. We can have parish talk shops too, and there possibly well-informed speakers – ideally Catholic – on current affairs can inform us. But would such talk shops be supported? It is much easier for all of us to spout our uninformed and also maybe biased views on the radio, but we do have a responsibility for our own formation and for the future of our Church and society. We have to preach and teach our children with integrity, justice and love. Not easy, but necessary.
  A De La Salle brother gave me a good idea for families to talk a while ago. He advocates a talk walk. On Communications Sunday 5th September the invitation could be issued. Together as families take a walk, go to the park, take the dogs but don’t ride away on your bicycles. The objective is to walk, to imbibe the feel and smell of spring, to dance a little if the mood strikes or skip along with the kids, but to be in communion with one another, with nature and with God. What better way to celebrate the coming of spring, the value of communication in the home and start a meaningful family tradition as suggested by the September family theme.
  Toni Rowland

  For more on * Desiderata including the full text go to google.

   

  Your very own SA Catholic Radio station Programme schedule on: www.radioveritas.co.za Mass daily at 12h30 and mass and magazine programme 11h00 – 13h00 each Sunday. 011 663-4700 Family Matters Wednesday 10-11 & Saturday 11-12

  Tel: + 27 (0) 11 726 2626 email:res@hippohills.co.za www.hippohills.co.za Four-star Grading from the Tourism Council Hippo Hills is located in Mpumalanga near the Kruger Park

  VIDEO SPOT The Colony, 345 Jan Smuts Avenue, Craighall, Johannesburg 011 447 1401 www.videospot.co.za

   

  MARFAM NEWS

  PLEASE NOTE THAT WE HAVE MIGRATED TO A NEW BLOG WEBSITE with the address www.marfam.org.za/blog

  Pope Benedict in the Message for World Communication Sunday invites us to make effective use of the new media. I am still in the learning phase but we hope to have a useful blog site up and running soon allowing for much more social interaction.

  The July – September issue of Marriage and Family Living is still available and links with the Family Life Calendar for 2010 and its theme “FAMILIES PLAY THE GAME” which continues to provide food for thought till the end of 2010. The article for the month of September is a poem, a reflection on the rock painting known as the White Lady of Brandberg found deep in the desert in Namibia on my trip there in May. It can be found on www.marfam.org.za/blog. The regular monthly reflections follow the Family Hour promoted by MARFAM and the SACBC Family Life Desk.
  A MARFAM activity booklet for children is “Our Heritage” which considers the religious, geographical, language and cultural heritage of citizens of South African from many nations, including very many from other African countries who are most likely to be vulnerable to xenophobia.
  For other MARFAM publications see www.marfam.org.za/blog.

   

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  SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS

  The 2010 family theme of the SACBC Family Life Desk is “Families Play the Game. “ The Desk’s annual family calendar is used for education and enrichment. Monthly subthemes are developed in many different ways throughout the year. The overview of the year’s themes and brief reflections for the Sundays and main feastdays are published monthly on the website www.marfam.org.za/blog.. Translations of these into some local languages are available by email. Anyone willing and able to help with Zulu and Xhosa translations can contact Toni at info@marfam.org.za.

  SEPTEMBER – A SPORTING TRADITION. Some families are very involved in sport, some not at all. In some families everyone plays a different sport while in others they all play tennis or have another common interest. Gym is common nowadays too and is very good for one’s health. In today’s society with celphones, TV and computers families have to make an extra effort to take an interest in sport and physical wellbeing. It is especially valuable if they can do some outdoor activities together. “Couch rugby” is no substitute for the real thing. What kind of sporting traditions exist in your family? Could you do more?

  FAMILY LIFE DESK ACTIVITIES.
  2011 FAMILY CALENDAR will be available during the month. The theme will be PEACE ON EARTH BEGINS AT HOME and takes up the focus of the 2nd African Synod of 2009, “Church as Family in the service of reconciliation, justice and peace.” In addition to the poster calendar there will be an information leaflet explaining the monthly subthemes. It is hoped that parishes and organizations will use this as a resource and a fundraiser. Bulk prices will be from R250 for 100 calendars. For more information and to order see www.marfam.org.za.

  PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY is the Desk’s ongoing project, applying in a pastoral manner the image “Church as Family” of the Church in Africa, from an evangelizing as well as family support angle. It is promoted to the bishops, to priests, to parishes and ultimate to families.
  Three levels of ministry to families are 1. At Parish level. 2. At home level. 3. Special needs.
  Workshops are offered to dioceses and in regions and a workshop will be held in Gauteng from 23-26 September. Different time slots will be for those new to the ministry and for more experienced teams. For details contact trowland@sacbc.org.za. The Handbook and Manual “An Introduction to Parish Family Ministry” is available at R120.

  One of the tasks of the FL Desk is to assist dioceses in establishing and operating a family life desk. This is a stated priority in the local church and should be done by bishop or parish priest together with the pastoral councils. A FL desk then operates from PPC level and has contact with other members of the PPC. In that way the vision of Church-as-Family can be fully integrated. Dioceses of Bloemfontein and Eshowe will be visited shortly.

  FAMILY PRESERVATION. This concept is very much part of the Church’s attitude towards healthy family living. FL coordinator Toni Rowland will co-facilitate a workshop from 9-12 September with a trainer from the Department for Social Development’s Family Directorate. This is being offered through the National Religious Leaders Forum to delegates from national Faith Based Organisations (FBOs) A manual for Family Preservation has been developed for the DSD and this is being used for training social workers but also potentially for support teams in parish family ministry. There are still a few places available. Contact trowland@sacbc.org.za

  CONSULTATION AND CONFERENCE
  A mini-conference of family life ministers in movements and dioceses is being planned for the weekend of 9th October. Together with Bishop William Slattery, the bishop responsible for Evangelisation, this will in part be an opportunity to workshop together the vision and direction of the Family Life Desk, a common vision for the family apostolate, the IMBISA bishops family life priority, and if possible some plans for 2011.
  Family Movements in Southern Africa are Catholic Engaged Encounter, Couples for Christ, Equipes de Nossa Senhora/Teams of Our Lady, Focolare – New Families, Marriage Encounter, Retrouvaille, Schoenstatt movements. For information about them visit www.marfam.org.za

   

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  SNIPPETS

  COMMUNICATION SUNDAY – SOUTH AFRICA – 5TH SEPTEMBER
  MESSAGE OF HIS HOLINESS PEOPE BENEDICT XVI FOR 44th WORLD COMMUNICATION SUNDAY. In most countries this day is celebrated in May but in South Africa it is on the 1st Sunday of September. This year the Holy Father is challenging leaders, educators and those who provide information and influence others to be open to using the new forms of media available to us.
  A short extract is provided here. For the full message visit www.vatica.va/holy_father/benedict/xvi/messages/communications
  Dear Brothers and Sisters,
  The theme of this year’s World Communications Day – The Priest and Pastoral Ministry in a Digital World: New Media at the Service of the Word – is meant to coincide with the Church’s celebration of the Year for Priests. It focuses attention on the important and sensitive pastoral area of digital communications, in which priests can discover new possibilities for carrying out their ministry to and for the Word of God. Church communities have always used the modern media for fostering communication, engagement with society, and, increasingly, for encouraging dialogue at a wider level. Yet the recent, explosive growth and greater social impact of these media make them all the more important for a fruitful priestly ministry. …………… Thanks to the new communications media, the Lord can walk the streets of our cities and, stopping before the threshold of our homes and our hearts, say once more: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me” (Rev 3:20).

  Of course such a message should not only apply to priests, or even to specific church media workers. Here in South Africa the national Catholic weekly paper, Southern Cross, the Catholic quarterly Trefoil, Metanoia Ministries and MARFAM too are run by lay people. Quite a number of dioceses have their own publication and parishes too have newsletters. Electronic versions or links or a presence on FACEBOOK or TWITTER are seen as indispensable by some of the younger members of the Church. “Way to go”! as they say, much as it intimidates some of us oldies. Whether people read all the stuff or just skim through it is another matter.
  Some media websites, local and others are given here.
  www.scross.co.za , www.sacbc.org.za/, Ma href=”http://www.metanoiaministries.org”>www.metanoiaministries.org/ www.radioveritas.co.za
  www.thetablet.co.uk, www.paulinesa.co.za. And www.facebook.com/pages/Catholic-Media-Network can open a whole host of doors on media in general. For daily messages contact the Redemptorists (sms)and meditations@mysoulprovider.org (email) Specific topics can be googled individually. A fun activity for families could be finding Catholic pen-friends in other countries. I wonder if young people would know how to do that on Mix-It.

  SEXUALITY CONFERENCES 24-26 SEPTEMBER IN THE JOHANNESBURG AREA.
  24th September. LIFE AND LOVE@SCHOOLS CONFERENCE and simultaneous YOUTH JAMBOREE
  Opening Address by SA Minister of Basic Education, Mrs Angie Motshekga. Keynote speaker: Pam Stenzel from the US in 2009. She will also address the youth jamboree.
  Conference co-ordinator: Bev Frieslich. E-mail: bevfrieslich@telkomsa.net.
  The objectives of the conference are to understand the realities facing teenagers and tackle some of the sexuality issues facing youth at schools.
  25th September – INTRODUCTION TO THEOLOGY OF THE BODY Seminar. Damon Owens of Theology of the Body Institute USA
  26th September NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING Conference. Various speakers will address youth and marriage preparation topics.
  For more information e-mail Dr Heinz Wirz : wirz@global.co.za
  All the conferences will be streamed internationally on http://www.ustream.tv/channel/life-love-schools-conference.

  FAMILY HOUR ACTIVITIES “The family that prays and plays together stays together.”
  Family Hour is an activity for all types and ages of families, even oldies. The purpose is to reflect, share, discuss and pray about family issues, make it a spiritually enriching and informative experience and have some fun doing so. Does your family have a Bible, and a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church?
  THEME FOR THE MONTH Family Hour activities can always be linked with the family theme for the month and should be appropriate for the ages and situations of a particular family.
  September, Heritage Month lends itself to parish family celebrations of different cultures. Many parish have a cultural day with food, costumes and entertainment from different cultural groups in the parish. Consider too how this can become a family-friendly occasion at home with a chance to share the family’s own cultural background during a weekly Family Hour activity. Many events happen around us that can be brought into a spirituality of the home. E.g. Arbor Day, Spring Day, also feast of St Michael, Gabriel and Raphael – archangels on 29th Birthday of Our Lady on 8th.

  VALUABLE SITES for family ministry
  UK BISHOPS’ MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE OFFICE. www.homeisaholyplace.org.uk
  US Catholic Bishops conference www.foryourmarriage.org. The Conference has also produced a document on marriage. Download “Marriage Unique for a Reason” from www.nccbusc.org.
  National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers www.nacflm.org

   

  CORRESPONDENCE

  Subscribe to >a href=”http://www.smartmarriages.com”>www.smartmarriages.com for a helpful newsletter but also a reminder to regularly visit the website. A recent post discussed a programme to help inmates in prison keep in touch and keep the families together. For the full article with photos see http://tinyurl.com/34e5el9 Couple help inmates, families stay together
  “In a no-frills visiting room inside the Toledo Correctional Institution, eight men in prison blues sit and listen as Ron and Cathy Tijerina stand face to face, talking out a problem. He wants her to skirt the rules and get extra food into the prison for him. She’s uncomfortable with the idea and tells him so. They try to see each other’s side, talk about other options, and reach a mutual agreement.
  The situation is hypothetical – Ron Tijerina has been on the outside, back with his family since 2006 – but the discussion they’re having is not an act.
  “Do we really talk like this?” Tijerina says to the men. “Do you think we really talk like this? Yes, we really talk like this. Did we used to talk like this? No.”
  For 15 of the Tijerinas’ 24-year marriage, Ron Tijerina was serving time for a conviction in Defiance County for raping a 14-year-old boy. It was a situation that would shake – and break – the best of marriages. The Tijerinas didn’t let it………………..
  To learn more and assist in prison ministry in South Africa contact Fr Russel Campbell rcampbell@sacbc.org.za

   

  IN CONCLUSION

  some thoughts from How to tell if you’re South African by T’Mar www.zompist.com/za.html

  • Journalists may write anything, and do, but when they write about the government, the government might accuse them of being racist and unsupportive. This just makes you believe what the journalists write.
  • You can drink alcohol, and drive, when you’re 18. Some of the large number of roads deaths are due to some 18 year-olds doing both at once.
  • If you’re white you’re either “English” (i.e. English-speaking), “Afrikaans” (Afrikaans-speaking), Portuguese, Lebanese, Greek, British, or a mixture of all of the above. If you’re black you are either Zulu, Sotho, Tswana, Venda, Pedi or Xhosa. If you’re Coloured you are probably Afrikaans speaking and have black, white, San or Khoi people in your ancestry. If you’re Indian your ancestors came from India. You might know an Indian language but you probably speak English most of the time. If you’re Chinese you have a hard time filling in forms for “race” and always have to tick “other”. You fully understand why South Africa is called the “rainbow nation”, and you love this concept. You love it so much that you paint your face like the South African flag at international sports matches.
  • Changing your name requires a bit of paperwork but it’s not that hard.
  • If you have an appointment, you’d better not be more than fifteen minutes late, or people will start without you. When people are late you comment that they are running on “African time”, but that’s just because you’re jealous and would also like to live at a less hectic pace.
  • If you say to someone that you will do something “just now”, it means you will do it later.
  • If you’re talking to someone you get very uncomfortable if they approach to within less than half a metre. You’re very protective of your personal space.
  • You realise intellectually that South Africa is in Africa, but you alternate between feeling extremely patriotic and extolling all things African, and behaving as though you actually live in the United States or Britain.
  • The police are armed, but not with machine guns. The criminals have the machine guns.
  • There is the occasional “yellow cab” type taxi, but most taxis are white minibuses. To hail one you stand on the corner with your index finger in the air, and you have developed nerves of steel from riding in them. If you have a car you will have used extremely foul language when a minibus taxi has stopped without warning, cut you off in traffic, or driven twice the speed limit past you. You know how in America they have “gang wars”? In South Africa you have “taxi wars”. Yes, complete with machine guns and innocent bystanders getting killed.
  • You think of opera and ballet as rather elite entertainments, if you think about them at all. You might never have even gone to live theatre. Your idea of a stimulating night out is dinner and a movie, or dinner and a club.

  Happy Heritage Day on 24 September 2010
  

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