Follow My Leader is not just a game.

The Catholic Church is undergoing trying times, but it has weathered those before. We are still followers of Christ, individually, that means taking personal responsibility, but also communally. Pope John Paul II has just celebrated 25 years of leadership of the flock, Johannesburg’s new bishop, Archbishop Buti Tlhagale has just taken up the shepherd’s crook, our parish priests, Parish Pastoral Council or leaders of whatever group or movement we belong to call us to follow and of course within our families parents are called to be leaders. Husband and wife together make up a leadership team. We teach our children by word and example, we generate and regenerate.

Archbishop Buti Tlhagale delivered his first address to a gathered assembly of some 20 000 of the faithful of Johannesburg, The Rainbow Diocese, on Sunday 29th June, the feast of St Peter and St Paul. Home-grown, he is the fifth bishop and first black bishop of Johannesburg.

He began by focusing on the call to holiness, referring to the beatification of an Italian married couple who received – like all couples – the call to holiness in their ordinary day to day activities.

The lay apostolate is to be encouraged and promoted so that the laity can allow their light to shine forth and so that those who see their good words should be moved to glorify our Father in heaven. The lay apostolate is two-pronged, personal sanctification in our particular way of life and bearing the message plus living out the values in the public square.

The Archbishop stressed that the holiness of lay people is no second-class holiness, but that the vocations of clergy and laity are distinct and complementary, engaging in the mission of Jesus Christ as partners.

South Africa has a strong human rights culture that is at times in conflict with the moral teachings of the Church.

We, the citizens, living in families, are directly involved in the moral battlefield. Abortion, gay unions and condom promotion leading to sexual promiscuity among the youth undermine our values. We are called to protect and promote these values and contribute to the moral regeneration of our society.

The clergy and religious are equally called on to be models of moral integrity. Sexual misconduct by some clergy was strongly condemned.

Strong words from the new spiritual leader for the people of the biggest and arguably the most influential diocese in South Africa. Putting the focus on the Rainbow Diocese was a wonderful and unifying example of inculturation as the crowd came dressed in brightly coloured cultural and traditional garb of many different kinds, mostly of local and other African origin but some of European origin too.

Archbishop Tlhagale concluded by thanking the people of his previous diocese. the Archdiocese of Bloemfontein and requesting the people of Johannesburg to allow him to serve us, and to help him to serve us.

Follow my leader is not just a game, it can even be a way of life, one that requires commitment and trust.

It is often said, “the family that prays together, stays together” and I always like to add, “the family that plays together,” too.

Follow my leader is not just a game, unless you call life a game and even that as we all know well, is but a game of chance, lived out in trust. As a fun family play activity why not try a trust walk, something often done on retreats. One person is blindfolded and allows another to lead them through an obstacle path. Trust should be a feature of family life. If we have no trust in the members of our own families how can we trust others, leaders or not?

We welcome Archbishop Buti Tlhagale as our leader, with trust and confidence. Archbishop Desmond Tutu when interviewed for the Radio Veritas broadcast of the ceremony laughingly said, “He is a man of fun, loving and loveable.” So, enjoy Jozi! The big city has plenty to offer including good libraries and great bookstores.

Toni Rowland

PS For expatriates and others interested in this great city of Johannesburg why not visit the website

www.joburg.org.za You will find a picture of our new bishop and some local colour.

With acknowledgment to the Johannesburg News Agency.

MARFAM NEWS

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING, No 3 is available. Because of the MAKING MARRIAGE MORE project (see FAMILY LIFE DESK notice below) there is a strong focus on marriage in this issue. Articles by experts in their field cover African Marriage, Conditions for a Valid Marriage, Marriage Preparation for 5year olds? This should be a helpful resource for couples and those educating others about marriage. Cost R6,00 (plus postage)

A successful day for Widowed People was held, using a specially prepared form of the Stations of the Cross as the basis for reflection. This ministry is seen to be a growing need, particularly in a country where many spouses die unnaturally young, but the ministry is still not as well-supported as it could be.

On June 16th I excited and gratified to be able to participate in a YOUTH DAY celebration in Alexandra, one of the oldest townships, north-east of Johannesburg where the church was packed for Mass on a public holiday and where young adults plus various hangers-on came to hear some presentations on Moral Regeneration and the Family.

TOPIC FOR THE MONTH – Grandparents.

The African concept of family is of an extended family where grandparents are respected, valued and hold pride of place, where uncles and aunts are considered fathers and mothers too and children belong to the wider group rather than to the nuclear unit. This in practice also means that they are far more often brought up by other family members than would be the norm in Western society. However, across the board grandparents very often help out or take responsibility for their grandchildren while parents go away to work. Nowadays an additional factor, with the AIDS pandemic affecting so many families, is that even more grandparents are left to care for children when their parents become ill and die.

So while mothers were honoured in May and fathers in June we would like to see grandparents honoured around the feast of St Joachim and St Anne, grandparents of Jesus, on 26th July.

As has been reported MARFAM will not be as closely linked with Johannesburg as before, as I, Toni, take a more active part in establishing the SACBC Family Life Desk. But I am available for talks and workshops especially to promote the MAKING MARRIAGE MORE project.

SA CATHOLIC BISHOPS’ CONFERENCE – FAMILY LIFE DESK

“MAKING MARRIAGE MORE”, 24th August to MARRIAGE DAY on 5th October

The Desk does not have its own organized communication resources at this time and is therefore asking others involved to pass word around. Please also post this and any other info and resources on any available websites, also creating links with one another. Also pass on any material others might want to promote to the desk.

The wished for objective is to have the whole Catholic Church celebrate marriage at this time.

The desk can be contacted through Evan@sacbc.org.za (limited hours only) or Toni Rowland directly at homefun@icon.co.za

All family life movements are invited, encouraged, even challenged to use the opportunity provided by the liturgical readings of week 21 – 27 to promote the Sacrament of Marriage. After reflection and preparation from 24th August to 5th October this day can be celebrated as MARRIAGE DAY in parishes, schools, communities and homes. This is not necessarily only a local SA initiative but was identified as an appropriate liturgical time and approved by SECAM (Symposium of Episcopal conferences of Africa and Madagascar) around the time of the African Synod in 1994 when the need to promote and support marriage was discussed.

The SA FL Desk is producing and distributing to parishes around the country a resource package which contains practical suggestions, liturgical resources, a faith sharing leaflet, lesson material for catechesis of children, youth and adults and various references provided by the movements and organizations active in family ministry in South Africa. Some of this material will be published on the MARFAM website and others are invited to publish what they wish on their own sites.

Movements are invited to use these or whatever resources they have on hand to focus on marriage in ways suitable to them. Much is available on the internet too, including material from the 4th World Meeting of Families held in Manila, Philippines in January 2003.

Different countries will likely have a different range of family movements. A web search could prove fruitful for information about such international movements as Catholic Engaged Encounter, Couples for Christ, Equipes de Nossa Senhora/Equipes de Notre Dame/Teams of Our Lady, Focolare, Marriage Encounter, Retrouvaille, Schoenstatt Family Movement. These happen to be active in South Africa.

I, Toni, have much information or inspirational articles and readings suitable for special reflections and am available to share a day of reflection or give talks or workshops. Some of the priests, lead couples in marriage movements or those involved in spiritual direction may well be willing to offer retreats to parishes or groups. I would be happy to hear from those willing to give or to receive such a form of marriage enrichment.

MORE ON MARRIAGE

Websites to research at different levels.

Catechetical as mentioned above, the 4th World Meeting of Families material from the Pontifical council for the Family, http://www.family2003.ph/catecheticaltheme.html

For academic level sociological material. The Divinity School at the Univesity of Chicago. Family-Project@uchicago.edu

For articles and courses on many aspects of marriage and relationship enrichment www.smartmarriages.com

Also through google, search for divorcebusting, weddedbliss, marriage enrichment etc.

OTHER SNIPPETS.

Prof Janet Smith visits Southern Africa early in July.

This world-renowned speaker from the University of Dallas, on bio-ethics and human life will present a series of lectures at various venues in Johannesburg, Cape Town and Bulawayo, Zimbabwe.

Subjects include, Family under Siege, Humanae Vitae and Conscience, The sexual mess that we are in and how we got here, Why premarital sex is wrong, Theology of the Body. Contact Jenny Harrington 011 678 9426 for details.

Visit Janet Smith’s website www.udallas.edu/phildept/smith.htm

SA Government is planning to make abortion more freely available.

Abolishing of Religious education n in Schools debate continues

For deeper insights into SA Termination of Pregnancy Bill amendments and Religion in Schools debate visit .

www.ChristianView.org

Abstinence Education

We have heard with keen interest that the Bush administration is making money available for HIV/AIDS and particularly encouraging abstinence education. Two programmes for youth in South Africa focus on this aspect.

Education for Life is run through the SA Catholic Bishops’ Conference Department for Evangelisation and Bosco Youth Pastoral Centre offers Love Matters courses mainly for learners from Catholic schools. The piece below is taken from the Bosco July newsletter,

“We strongly recommend the True Love Waits website ( www.truelovewaits.org.za )for anyone interested and involved in combating AIDS and other ills among young people through abstinence. Their latest June 2003 declaration – “Abstinence is not an option… it’s a must!” is a powerful slogan. Yes, this is not only the best option (among other “safer-sex” options); it is the ONLY 100% safe option. Why are our education authorities so strong on promoting total abstinence from smoking among teens, but so wishy-washy on the issue of pre-mature/precocious sexual activity! “

Single parents.

Research consistently appears to indicate that children brought up by lone parents are at higher risk of problem behaviour at some stage, psychiatric disorder, delinquency, poor relationship skills in their future. How would this apply in a context where extended family living is more common, as in Africa? I would welcome some insights into this or research done on this aspect. Certainly one recent comment makes sense, “there is no such person as a single parent. There are always other parties involved, be they grandparents, live-in or serial partners or other siblings.”

GROWING OLDER, WISER AND SOFTER…….

……Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

…….The simplest toy, one that even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

…….On his 50th wedding anniversary Henry Ford was asked for his formula for a successful marriage. He replied,

“It’s the same formula that has made my cars successful. Stick to one model.”

EMAILIST

We have been trying to set up a new address list through bravenet, but this is not working out very well. Please excuse us if you receive two copies of this letter. By next month we hope to have it all sorted out.

Toni