This little tiny light of mine………

“ BOLOGNA , Italy , JAN. 21, 2004 ( Zenit.org ) .- Cardinal Giacomo Biffi dedicated his last homily as archbishop of Bologna to the crisis of the family.
"In present-day society," he said at a farewell Mass on Sunday, "love between man and woman seems to be altered and degraded in too many ways, besieged by a quest for freedom and individual gratification that is so absolute and abstract that it ends up by being almost inhuman."
"Today everything seems to be oriented to the affirmation of rights, of needs, of the superiority of the individual, and to obtain an epidermic pleasure instead of the communion of persons," said Cardinal Biffi , 75, whose resignation for reasons of age has been accepted by the Pope.” from ZE04012121

This report came to me in the middle of a week during which we in SA have been regaled ad nauseam by the sickening saga of two married SA delegates in India , ironically at the World Social Forum, involved in an extramarital sexual encounter which turned into a case of rape, acquaintance rape as it is called. The media went on a feeding frenzy and every newscast contained further details of the case and who was responsible/guilty/condemned. One TV station refused to mention names in an attempt at justice but a well-known judge was involved and everyone knew. The media do carry a serious responsibility for creating this type of circus, but the media only dishes up what the public wants, and sex and rape are a popular if ultimately indigestible diet.

The saga was the subject of debates largely around gender rights but apart from the odd comment I heard little on moral rights or moral righteousness from a family perspective. Are not both parties guilty of abusing the trust of their respective spouses and children? Is this situation not condoned far too readily, even considered a norm?

Our country celebrates ten years of democracy, of so-called freedom.

Our country is concerned about human rights, but how confusing when a situation itself is so patently wrong.

Our country is concerned about crime and violence and has embarked on a programme of moral regeneration. Isn't that some sick joke?

Cardinal Biffi correctly named some of the ills but what about the cure? What is formally being done by Church or society, especially given the opportunity of the International Year of the Family, to enrich and strengthen family relationships? Is preaching enough, or are we preaching to the converted anyway? I suggest that this same media can be harnessed in the cause of good. Even though simple day-to-day family experiences do not make news they are often the subject of advertising. Focused advertising, promoting particular concepts can build and form a value-based society and all means of promoting a positive message need to be used.

Who is responsible? Surely couples and families themselves should be more proactive in their own cause, clamouring for this apostolate to be a vibrant part of their parish life and represented on their pastoral council. And taking it home too is possible and simple.

The Family Life Desk calendar PARENTING – A LABOUR OF LOVE can be a place to start. Reflect and act on the themes. Suggested reflections have even been provided (see our website). January is nearly over but you can still use the current news items or topics such as computer scams and fraud for a family discussion or an examination of conscience around trust and honesty.

Much less attention was given in the media this week to the other rape case that has gone to court. A lesbian woman having disclosed her HIV positive status was raped and murdered. There is much sickness around, including the sickness of society around HIV/AIDS and we are all responsible to practice justice and compassion in our own domain, compassion and care for all those who are sick or disabled.

But life should not be all doom and gloom and family life certainly has its ups and its downs. It has been said “it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.” Candles are very “in” and are also very symbolic. February 2 is Candlemas . Light a candle at home to be reminded of the Christchild , the light of the world. But then again remember too Sanctity of Life Sunday on Feb 1 st and the 350000 babies since Feb 1 1997 in South Africa who have not been allowed to be a light to their parents but who will nevertheless shine in eternity.

And there is also Valentine's Day when we allow our children to remind us how we used to be, and can be again if we choose………….

Lent starts with Ash Wednesday on 25 th February, and with it comes a call for reflection and repentance.

“Were you there when they crucified my Lord?”

“Yes, Lord, I stood by, I followed the crowd, I was caught up in the mob's excitement, I did nothing to stop it, I felt helpless, I ran away and hid myself. I did what I could, I tried but did not have your strength.

I was there, we were there. Forgive me, Lord. Forgive us.”

TONI ROWLAND

MARFAM NEWS.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING magazine No 1 of 2004 is now available. It has a new more colourful look and range of articles that further develop the Jan-March themes of the PARENTING calendar.

The excerpt to be published on the website is a reflection on AIDS and family. “A mother's prayer.”

A valuable media resource it is aimed at family members and groups, priests and educators and is about family life issues.

Day of reflection for Widowed people, 29 th February in Johannesburg diocese, East Rand region.

Thanks to Fr of the Bloemfontein Archdiocesan marriage tribunal who writes, “ ......

SA CATHOLIC BISHOPS' CONFERENCE FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS

The Desk's own website is not yet up and running and so it continues to use other ways and means and invites other family movements to use this MARFAM resource too to publicise their events.

The current work of the Family Life Desk is furthering the priority of the local Church of strengthening family life through promoting family ministry in the parishes and the main vehicle for the year will be the focus on Parenting.

The PARENTING, A LABOUR OF LOVE calendar is proving to be very popular. Although the fact that it is a beautiful, colourful A2poster is its main selling point, like the love of one's life, it is meant to be more than a pretty picture. It is a vehicle for teaching and reflection. The themes for each month are supported by brief liturgically linked reflections which can be downloaded from the MARFAM website from 28 th Jan and are in the process of being translated into a number of local languages, Afrikaans, Zulu, Sesotho, Tswana, Xhosa. (Should you have difficulty with this we will gladly email them to you.)

But even more is hoped for. Inviting deeper reflection, organizing a speaker or a discussion around the subject and possible resultant action would be the ideal outcome. As co- ordinator of the Desk I am open to invitations from dioceses and parishes to workshop the concept of parish family ministry and the given themes.

For the record these are the 12 themes under the main heading: PARENTING – A LABOUR OF LOVE

JANUARY - New Beginnings – learning to trust

FEBRUARY - Caring for the sick and disabled

MARCH – Respecting rights – teaching responsibility

APRIL – Celebrating Freedom and Easter Joy

MAY – Giving motherly care

JUNE – Recognising fatherly responsibilities

JULY – Grandparents care and are cared for

AUGUST – Respecting women's roles

SEPTEMBER – Cherishing our heritage

OCTOBER – Recognising our Mission in life

NOVEMBER – Remembering with love and gratitude those who have died

DECEMBER – Valuing people as gifts, accepting the reality of HIV/AIDS

Of relevance in Jan-March. Do a websearch on these subjects for loads of information.

Day of Prayer for the Sick. Access the message of Pope John Paul II for this year's day of prayer on 8 th Feb.

Early Childhood education is seen to be a crucial factor in child development. Most of this is done in the natural home setting. Parents and care-givers as well as early childhood educators, many in non-governmental organizations need to be more widely trained and supported.

Home schooling.

As a parent, teaching grows out of and is perfected by your love for your kids. Teaching academic subjects is a natural extension of the teaching and learning we already do as parents.

For more information on Catholic Homeschooling in South Africa contact Brian & Anne-Marie Goemans – parents of 5 children – 021 715 6809 (evenings after 8pm) – members of the Catholic Homeschoolers Association of South Africa

INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY 2004

A friendly hand-shake to the Archdiocese of Mombasa in Kenya who passed on these thoughts of ours to their readers too.

THE FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER

THE FAMILY THAT PLAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER

THE FAMILY THAT STAYS TOGETHER THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND BAD

IS A WITNESS TO THE POWER OF LOVE

THE FAMILY THAT CANNOT STAY TOGETHER NEEDS LOVE, GOD'S AND OURS .

REFERENCES AND WEBSITES.

United Nations

http://www.un.org/esa/socdev/family/TenthAnv/

“Families should be at the center of any future social policy development”

"Ten years later it is time to take stock and to determine whether the situation of families has improved," he said Kofi Annan .

There is remarkably little info about IYF + 10 from official sources, UN or church or states. SA Social Development Department is using the occasion to launch its Family Policy, which will be studied and commented on here in more depth. But SA is not yet like President Bush in his efforts to promote and strengthen marriage by pledging funds for marriage education and support.

ARTICLES OF INTEREST ON PARENTING SUBJECTS

FROM zenit.org

Source of Same-Sex Attractions in Children: Parenting and Social Influences
What Catholic Media Should Be

And more on the media.

Rose Pacatte , FSP
Director, Pauline Center for Media Studies - West
3908 Sepulveda Blvd. - Culver City, CA 90230
TEL 310-636-8385 FAX 310-397-8366 CELL 310-592-8901
The PCMS is a project of the Daughters of St. Paul. Its focus is to develop and encourage media literacy education for parents and teachers within the context of culture, education and faith formation. http://www.paulinecenterformediastudies.org
Sister Rose Pacatte , FSP is the new Film/Television columnist for St. Anthony Messenger magazine, "Eye on Entertaintment " ; for the latest reviews (and archive) visit http://www.americancatholic.org/movies/default.asp and look for " Pacatte "

Upcoming Events : National Film Retreat July 23 - 25, 2004 Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles

Sr Rose comments on the movie Lord of the Rings in the current MARFAM magazine.

SOMETHING ELSE LIGHT ………. Kitstuff

Q: What do cat actors say on stage ? A: Tabby or not tabby !
Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary ? A: Shredded tweet !
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ? A: cat-a- log !
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !
Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? A: They never cry over spilt milk!
Q: Why was the cat so small? A: Because it only ate condensed milk!
Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food? A: 'Let us prey.'
Q: What happened when the cat swallowed a coin? A: There was some money in the kitty!