| Newsletter for February 2003 |
“ONLY SELFLESS LOVE” This was the title of the theme song for the 4th World Meeting of Families, held from January 21 to 26 in Manila in the Philippines under the challenging name “The Christian Family : Good News for the Third Millennium.” I was pleased and grateful to have been able to join some 6000 local and foreign delegates from some 80 countries that had gathered to listen. During the parallel conference on theological and pastoral issues the President of the Pontifical Council for the Family, Alfonso Cardinal Lopez Trujillo, presented the keynote address “The gospel of the Family and the Gospel of Life in the new millennium.” Other cardinals including our African Cardinal Arinze of Nigeria and bishops and theologians gave their weighty presentations on sub-themes Evangelisation, Pastoral Care and Ecumenism. Prominent figures including the President of the Philippines and other political and legal figures made presentations or attended some of the sessions, members of family movements shared on their vision and work and beautiful liturgies were enhanced by the young people of schools and youth associations from around the Philippines who provided a glorious taste of their almost incredible musical talent in song and dance, especially in their renditions of the theme song “Only selfless love.” It was almost incredible too to think that this was a country where more than half of the population of some 80 million live below the breadline and millions of the poorest of the poor live their daily lives in squalor and hunger. Poverty did not feature strongly on the agenda neither did HIV/AIDS. Loud applause followed when these subjects were mentioned especially by Pontifical Council for the Family member Kathryn Hoomkwap from Nigeria. The inability of parents to feed their families has resulted in a lack of family stability. What does selfless love demand in this case? Corruption was mentioned, but not dwelt upon much, as one of the ways that is so common across the world in different places in different ways restricting human development and preventing families from living together in dignity, harmony and joy. What about selfless love in this context?
“The family founded on marriage is a patrimony of humanity, a great good of priceless value, necessary for the life, development and future of peoples,” Pope John Paul II said in the address televised on the Saturday afternoon to an assembled crowd of some 330 000. The congress focused strongly on the theology of marriage, the right and sanctity of life, the evil of abortion. Responsible parenthood using Natural Family Planning and ongoing responsible parenting were promoted. Children are the crown of marriage. A delegate had to be rushed to hospital to deliver her 10th baby. The infant’s arrival was announced by a proudly smiling Cardinal Trujillo and baptized by him after the end of the meeting. Bioethics, demographic patterns, family and politics and interreligious dialogue were subjects covered too. At the first World Meeting of Families we attended in Rome in 1994 the myth of overpopulation was already challenged and in the years since then there has been a constant dialogue on this. Ageing population and a below replacement birthrate especially in developed countries have in fact become serious problems. A new development in this 4th World Meeting was a separate Sons and Daughters Congress where some 1000 children and youth worked through their own programme and the young people edified the plenary gathering with their powerful prolife statement. Couples were everywhere, but then I asked myself, “what about other family set-ups. Where are single adults, single parents and for me sadly, where are widowed people? “ For our work in the South African Church there was the experience of unity of vision and reinforcement of the basic ideal. From a pastoral point of view, much was left unaddressed. Filipino law is unique in not recognizing divorce but divorce is a serious reality in the pastoral work of the Church. It is up to us in the local Churches to continue the mission of bringing the Good News into our local situations. We should do this bearing in mind and promoting the vision of “only selfless love.” Jesus showed the way, and families demonstrate it daily.
Did the meeting make a great stir? It got some front page coverage in Manila newspapers but hardly more coverage than the massive traffic jam resulting from some 330000 people converging on the Luneta stadium on Saturday afternoon. But then traffic jams are the norm in Manila where going to the local mall less than 10 kilometres away can take up to an hour. The Sunday morning Mass attended by even more joyful and gaily attired Filipinos and delegates from other countries was that of Santo Nino, the child Jesus, a feast particular to the Philippines. A long procession carried the statue of Santo Nino to its place of honour, the whole service accompanied by a full orchestra and range of singers and choirs.
Mentioned in the programme for the public meeting was “testimony by a single-parent family from South Africa.” I hadn’t observed any other South African delegates and waited with bated breath to be invited to share. Maybe they didn’t know I was there, or couldn’t find me as I had chosen to stay not in the hotels but with Retrouvaille contacts made through this international movement ministering to couples in hurting marriages. But the testimony given was by a French-speaking widow from central Africa on the support given to her by her family during her time of loss. She and I were not able to communicate, just gave one another a hug. Africa, the dark continent. Still we’re on the map.
The meeting was a showcase and powerful experience of solidarity. We Catholics have authentic teaching on marriage based first on natural law and lifted to the status of one of the sacraments of the Church. Would it were given such status in the daily life of the Church throughout the world. Would the fact that it is a natural institution designed for optimum socialization was given attention by UN and governments across the world. Selfless love, Jesus showed the way and continues to do so against many and heavy odds. Families are incredibly resilient and it is in the nature of family life to follow this way of selfless love and be Good News to one another and to others.
The ultimate outcome for me was not unlike that of the World Summit for Sustainable Development which engaged so much energy here in Johannesburg in August 2002. Much was said, heard, seen and contacts and memories created. Now we must all do our bit, but the global questions facing families in building a sustainable society are largely structural and economic and beyond the capacity of ordinary people and ordinary family to address. Still, the words of an African proverb add a light touch as well as food for thought. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito..." At the same time undoubtedly conversion on a grand scale is needed towards the ideal of selfless love. May God’s Spirit alive in the world of today help and guide families and those who govern, those who minister and those who serve us to find the way. Let us all offer our heartfelt prayers for that. Toni Rowland |
THEME SONG FOR THE 4TH WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES - ONLY SELFLESS LOVE Today, in the world where life is born there’s a struggle that is fought to be welcomed, to be cared for, to be at home. Today, when all life seems bought and used there’s a struggle to belong, to be free and to be a gift to everyone. We call all families, rise up and raise your hands as one. Come show the world the love that binds all God’s children into one. We call all families share the treasure that’s in your hands, what can save us now, what can lead us now, what can make us all be one? Only selfless love, Jesus show the world, that only selfless love can bring a hundred fold Of fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, homes, Where peace and mercy reign, where faith and hop remain Where life begins and ends in God’s embrace. Calling all families, let’s make it happen through only selfless love. Like the Holy Family with Jesus, Hoseph and Mary Home is where true love begins, love rejoices, love embraces. We call all families rise up and raise your hands as one . |
MINISTERING TO FAMILIES - MOVEMENTS AND STRUCTURES. The Pontifical Council for the Family is a relatively new addition, having been instituted by Pope John Paul II in 1981. “The council is responsible for the promotion of the pastoral ministry of and apostolate to the family, through the application of the teachings and orientation of the ecclesiastical Magisterium to help Christian families fulfill their educational and apostolic mission. It also promotes and coordinates pastoral efforts related to the issue of responsible procreation, and encourages, sustains and coordinates initiatives in defense of human life in all stages of existence from conception. It is concerned with theology and catechesis of the family, marital and family spirituality, the rights of the family and the child, formation of the laity for the family pastoral and marriage preparation. Sex education, demographics, contraction, genetic engineering, homosexuality and ethical and pastoral problems related to AIDS and other problems of bioethics. The Council is headed by Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, has a presidential committee of cardinals,archbishops and bishops, lay members and consultors. An African member who spoke at the 4th World Meeting was Mrs Kathryn Hoomkwap from Nigeria. The most recent members are Frank and Gerry Padilla of Couples for Christ, installed in own Manila just after the 4th World Meeting.
Episcopal conferences and dioceses across the world have different structures for family ministry. Some have a Family Commission, Office or Desk. Some have a bishop, priest, sister or lay coordinators, couples or individuals. Some have as their focus evangelization of families, some more the welfare aspect. Family ministry or the family apostolate does not anywhere appear to be as organized as other structures for example catechetics. There are local, diocesan, national and international movements. The big movements are transparochial which has both advantages and disadvantages as the members of these can have divided loyalties, become separated from their parish and feel a greater sense of belonging in their movement. International movements have the power and strength of numbers but they tend to come with the particular culture of the country where they started and an awareness of local cultures is also very necessary. Pope John Paul II often speaks of integral human development, a holistic approach and that includes an awareness of their culture and social situation. This could include all of rich or poor, extended or nuclear families, traditions and rituals, the role of men and women in the group.
A number of international movements were invited to give some input at the 4th World Meeting. More can be read about these on their various websites. (Access them using a searchengine such as Google) Apostolate of Family Consecration, Couples for Christ, Focolare, Legion of Mary, Mothers of Families (Argentina) Neo-catechumenate Way, Rinnovamente (Italy) World Wide Marriage Encounter who also referred to sister movements of Catholic Engaged Encounter and Retrouvaille. Other couples shared about their own experiences or local initiatives e.g. Andrew and Jane Kiura of the Family life Association in Kenya. There are of course many other family life movements around the world or closer to home. It would be good to hear from one another and exchange notes too. One of the blessings of attending a conference such as this is the extra-curricular contacts made and strengthened. I spent time with a Nigerian team and heard about the Holy Family Society which recently started there. I was also blessed to spend time with Couples of Christ to learn about this extensive movement which has expanded into other family ministries for kids, youth, singles, handmaids – women alone, and servants – men alone. Their current development in social ministries is working for the poor. There are many ways to serve the families of the Church and society. Specific family ministries can and must expand but evangelization of families should not be left to these groups but is a task entrusted to the whole Church.
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MARFAM NEWS The Jan-Mar issue of the magazine MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING is available. It contains articles on Abstinence Education, Step Parenting and the October 2002 document of the Pontifical Council for the Family. MARFAM’s Lenten reflection booklet will be available shortly. Also see the liturgical calendar on our website. EVENTS A workshop for Parish Family Ministry contact people in the Johannesburg diocese on 22 Feb. A Family Day on 16 March will include swimming, picnic, Stations of the Cross. Congratulations to MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER on 25 years in South Africa during February.
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