Every rand, dollar or euro helps to strengthen families somewhere, somehow.
“WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHILDREN GONE?”
This theme of the MARFAM Advent and Christmas reflection booklet for families kept expanding for me as time went by and led to quite some food for thought in various more or less dramatic directions. Doesn't the question conjure up different images for you too?
On an honest-to-God, simple, down-to-earth level schoolchildren will be on holiday shortly and the concern, particularly of parents, will be, “Where are they, what will they get up to, will they behave properly, will they be safe?” Fortunately, as this is our summer season, most businesses do close for some weeks so that parents and children can spend time together. They will either go away on holiday, which costs a fortune, or be around the house, where hopefully they won't get on one another's nerves too much. We remember too that 1200 people died on our SA roads during last year's December holiday season, so maybe planning to have fun at home will be the most favourable outcome.
At our recent Day of Recollection for Widowed people I was very conscious of the relationships within families between those who are bereaved, their children and their parents too. It was shocking to hear again how young widows, particularly, are often treated by their in-laws. In African culture the norm is for a wife to be taken up into her husband's family but if he dies prematurely, for whatever reason, she is often accused of witchcraft, blamed for his death and rejected. The family squabbles over the assets and the widow instead of being supported is subjected to additional stress on top of the trauma of grieving. Children's needs to grieve and be comforted and ultimately supported are often neglected. This of course is not unique to African families.
A recent major conference on Orphans and Vulnerable Children was co-hosted by the SACBC AIDS office and HOPE HIV, a Salvation Army project. The spectre of up to 12 million orphaned children in Africa is horrific and almost mind-boggling and a major challenge to us all. The extended family system as a natural resource seems often to be taken for granted. Children are best off being cared for in their own familiar setting, in the extended family and with their siblings rather than in institutions but this puts a massive burden on the extended families. Child grants are available and resolutions at the conference concerned assistance with accessing these. I would like to think however, that a major support programme and a really concerted effort to strengthen the particular family support system to better support these children is not just a pipe dream, but I have yet to see such a project reach a conference table resolution level.
Conferences cost big money. Another pipe dream on a simple level is support for organizations or sodalities such as Masolenyane, the Little Soldiers of Christ. A most committed woman motivates and inspires these groups and their leaders in many parishes. Children meet weekly, are given some value-based formation around sexuality and life skills and enjoy a retreat or outing for time to time. But these parents are poor and certainly cannot afford a weekend away when there is more than one child in a family. Maybe all it needs is for someone to write a proposal and follow the correct channels. Small grass-roots movements such as this can do much for these children
My Christmas wish list extends further, right into the New Year. 2004 is the 10 th anniversary of the International Year of the Family in 1994. The United Nations recommends that this be commemorated, celebrated and used as an occasion to evaluate the impact of initiatives and policies of governments, NGOs and others on the lives of families. Have families benefited and improved the quality of their lives in these ten years? MARFAM was conceived during that year, born in early 1995 and has grown and certainly undergone major changes. Our objectives were awareness-raising, providing resources and formation and putting flesh on the dream of Pope John Paul II and many others. “The future of the Church and of the world is through the family.”
Happy anniversary everyone.
Toni Rowland
MARFAM NEWS
Where have all the children gone?” Advent and Christmas Reflections for families with an Advent Calendar activity “Children of the Bible.” The contents will be posted on the MARFAM website over the next weeks but booklets are available from us at R7,00 plus postage.
Widowed ministry is beginning to take off in the Johannesburg diocese but widowed people need support and prayers from family, friends, parish community. Next retreat – Boksburg 29 th February 2004.
FAMILY LIFE DESK NEWS
Main focus - 2004 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY
2004 Family Calendar – Parenting, Labour of Love.
A2 size poster calendar highlighting all the family life movements active in the local Church ( see MARFAM website for picture) Distribution through MARFAM 011 789 5449 marfam@icon.co.za
SPECIAL Bulk orders - 50 calendars R100,00 plus postage/delivery.
1-5 calendars @ R5,00 plus R10,00 postage and packing (in South Africa)
There are different parenting themes for each month. Reflection leaflets will be available with a brief reflection for the Sundays and feastdays of the year. They can be downloaded from the MARFAM website and shortly from the SACBC Family Life Desk website which is still under construction.
REFLECTION THEME : January – New Beginnings – Learning to Trust.
SNIPPETS
ANTI-ABORTION CAMPAIGN
Pro-lifers draw attention to the fact that a “ Choice of pregnancy termination amendment bill” is being tabled in SA parliament, with the intention of making abortion more easily obtainable by increasing the number of facilities and allowing nurses to perform them.
Register your concern and offer prayers.
CHRISTIAN VIEW www.christianView.org
WORLD AIDS DAY – December 1
The bishops of Africa and Madagascar have issued a statement to be released on 1 st December. It pledges their support, commitment and solidarity with those affected. Visit www.secam.org or www.sacbc.org.za .
The United Nations report on the state of the epidemic can be seen at www.unaids.org
PRAYER – HIV/AIDS AND THE FAMILY When HIV/AIDS is introduced into a family it becomes not just a visitor in a home, but a needy member of the family affecting everyone around. You can wish it away, but it won't go. You can treat it badly and it will sulk and demand greater attention. You can hide it in the room next door and it will beat on the door of your soul. You can ignore it, but it will continue to be there, staring you in the face, begging for acceptance. Like a wayward child, or spouse, it is yours forever to have and to hold, until death. So pray for the great gift of compassion that you may be able to welcome it as best you can, to accept it with all its crosses, to forgive and be forgiven where necessary, to listen lovingly, to experience the joys and pains of relationship, to share deeply and honestly in this communal journey, to be ministers and be true family. Pray for all families, big or small, old or young, carrying this burden, and reach out where you can, as family. |
All families whether someone is infected or not are affected by this disease in the human family.
We need to talk about it, share our feelings, thoughts and needs.
We need to pray about it with and for one another.
MARFAM's booklet AIDS STRIKES AT THE HEART provides an opportunity to reflect on the ways HIV/AIDS impacts on family life. R5,00 from MARFAM.
- FAMILIES IMPORTANT, MARRIAGE IS NOT
Chattanooga Times Free Press - 25 November, 2003 - Front Page
Families important, marriage is not
Hamilton County report rates children, faith and health ahead of spouse.
By Yolanda Putman Staff Writer
Hamilton County residents ranked their families as the most important priority in their lives, but placed marriage ninth after getting ahead in life, leisure and money, according to a new report.
"We all get caught up in the business of life, but you have got to take care of your marriage to take the best care of your family," said Julie Baumgardner, executive director of First Things First, a nonprofit organization dedicated to strengthening Chattanooga families.
At the heart of all of those issues is the state of the family, and at the heart of the family is the state of marriage, she said.
In the last 30 years, the definition of "family" has come to mean a mother and her children, said Dr. Rosario Slack, director of fathering and urban initiatives for First Things First.
for more on this and other articles visit www.smartmarriages.com
ADVENT
Catholic Educators News - October 15, 2003
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The content of the December online edition of the Catholic Educators News is much more extensive than usual. I did not want to send an email version that was too "bulky" to download. I have therefore decided to send you only a very reduced outline of the online version of the newsletter that can be found at: http://www.silk.net/RelEd/ezine1.htm . I invite you to visit this page and I apologize for the inconvenience.
Because this issue focusses mainly on Advent, I am making it available a few days ahead of the scheduled publication date so that you can take avantage of the resources presented.
May God bless you and keep you during the Advent and Christmas season and may he fill your heart with light and hope.
Gilles Cote - Editor
TAILPIECE. May the season of Advent be spiritually enriching, even if materially impoverishing!
